Taken from my journal last February on the series of the life of Moses….
Continuing the series about Moses’ life – Pastor Troy spoke today about the things that have happened in our lives that have brought us to where we are today. Things that we would like to delete from our history – if we could. I know for me they are embarrassing periods of time – stupid mistakes – wrong decisions and what seemed like years of silence from God. It somehow never occurred to me that maybe God was silent because I was being tested – you know the teacher is always silent during an exam – I just felt abandoned and like I had done something so wrong that ultimately I had crossed the line of favor and His love in my life – pushed so far away to ever have His blessing in my life.
I am not happy about periods of my life like that. However I do know that God has used some of those rough places of mine to make me more compassionate to others and help me to love people through some great heartache. I am tolerant of things I normally wouldn’t have been – great patience has been cultivated in me – and I really like and am interested in people.
We would all like to erase parts of our history and have everything wonderful in our lives – no stress – no problems to solve – no hurt and rejection. But I know that we are shaped and molded for a greater purpose during those dry silent times. And I know that I wouldn’t be here today – be married to the man I married or have the life I now do – without the heartache – the rejection I experienced – the lessons that I learned through the pain and silence.
If you are going through something right now – something heavy – something where you feel alone, either through what you have done – or someone else has done to you – remember – you may be in a testing time. God is not through with you – He won’t abandon you – His love is still there and His arms are still reaching for you – through the chaos and noise in your world – through the insecurities and struggles – He really is there.
Don’t give up – you will see the reason someday – God will take the broken part of your life – fix it up – better than before and give you a story to tell and a testimony to help someone else – I promise.