Today my little girl is 22. I remember exactly where I was 22 years ago. It’s funny how so many years can go by – but it can seem just like a few moments. And it was a true “defining” moment for me. Life was forever altered and changed because of that baby. I ceased living just for myself that day – looking at life through the eyes of what it would mean for Ashlee.
I had many dreams for her – even some “baby blues” which is natural when you have a new baby. I remember standing over her crib when she was new born and wondering how I was ever going to “live up” to all that was needed from me. It was and still is – a sobering thought and a serious commitment to another human being. Even waiting 6 years to have her – didn’t quite prepare me for the emotions of total helplessness and love that I felt.
She was and always has been – very independant of spirit and willful – from a wee baby into her teens. I didn’t know how we were going to “handle” her at times. But I always knew of her sweet sensitive and generous nature – and clung to that through the difficult years. She and I would go “head to head” many times over the years – concerning “boys” or other areas of maturity – and Greg always believed that it was just a matter of time and all would be well. He saw so much of himself in her and knew that when she just “grew up” it would be okay. For me I could not identify in so many things – as I was always an “old soul” and always did what was expected of me. That can be both good and bad as I have recently discovered. Ashlee was free of any of that – she was and still is – very “black and white” what you see is what you get. She doesn’t play games – she is straight forward and no nonsense – remarkable qualities and very useful as she enters adulthood.
I have many memories from our past 22 years of “investment” in this beautiful young woman – and many more still to come as she gets married in less than a month to a wonderful man. Soon there will be another chapter of “memories” for us as a family – and someday Ashlee and I will share something else really special – her children.
Below is a scene from an amazing movie, “Mamma Mia” – it is a scene between Mother and Daughter and I can’t watch it without crying – because I see so much of myself and Ashlee in this. I hope you will enjoy it.
God Bless
Cindy Holman 
Comments on: "Slipping Through My Fingers…" (10)
Sorry for my bad english. Intresting title. It attracted me to read the complete post. Thanks
Great site…keep up the good work.
Oh, this was a sweet but sad post.
Thanks, BeckyJoie! I hope the only sad part is the video 🙂
My oldest is almost 15 and I think about how in just a few short years, she will be leaving home…it makes me sad already. I know we are supposed to train them to be able to leave and make their own families and have their own lives but I don’t wanna! LOL
Thanks for sharing your emotional day with us.
Thanks so much Christie! It is very hard – but just remember – they are only “on loan” to us. They really belong to God.
That’s a great blog Cindy! I love that part of the mivie and I too, cry when I watch that part! There aren’t too many songs out there that really capture the essence of a mother-daughter relationship like this song does. Less than a month till she’s changing her last name…:) excitingly crazy! Xoxo
Thanks Tayler – it’s been an emotional day knowing this is the last birthday before she gets married!
I know – that song does it to me everytime. There’s another song from Sandi Patty that always does that to me too – called “Anna’s Song” and her daugher is about the same age as Ashlee and that’s why the song has always been meaningful to me – I will try and find it and send it to you 🙂
Thanks, JoJo – us Mom’s have to stick together!
Oh Cindy!! I am bawling! My little girl is 19 and in a few weeks will be leaving for Nashville 1500 miles away for school. From now on she may only come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. In a year, she’ll be in Russia for a semester.