Today my little girl is 22. I remember exactly where I was 22 years ago. It’s funny how so many years can go by – but it can seem just like a few moments. And it was a true “defining” moment for me. Life was forever altered and changed because of that baby. I ceased living just for myself that day – looking at life through the eyes of what it would mean for Ashlee.
I had many dreams for her – even some “baby blues” which is natural when you have a new baby. I remember standing over her crib when she was new born and wondering how I was ever going to “live up” to all that was needed from me. It was and still is – a sobering thought and a serious commitment to another human being. Even waiting 6 years to have her – didn’t quite prepare me for the emotions of total helplessness and love that I felt.
She was and always has been – very independant of spirit and willful – from a wee baby into her teens. I didn’t know how we were going to “handle” her at times. But I always knew of her sweet sensitive and generous nature – and clung to that through the difficult years. She and I would go “head to head” many times over the years – concerning “boys” or other areas of maturity – and Greg always believed that it was just a matter of time and all would be well. He saw so much of himself in her and knew that when she just “grew up” it would be okay. For me I could not identify in so many things – as I was always an “old soul” and always did what was expected of me. That can be both good and bad as I have recently discovered. Ashlee was free of any of that – she was and still is – very “black and white” what you see is what you get. She doesn’t play games – she is straight forward and no nonsense – remarkable qualities and very useful as she enters adulthood.
I have many memories from our past 22 years of “investment” in this beautiful young woman – and many more still to come as she gets married in less than a month to a wonderful man. Soon there will be another chapter of “memories” for us as a family – and someday Ashlee and I will share something else really special – her children.
Below is a scene from an amazing movie, “Mamma Mia” – it is a scene between Mother and Daughter and I can’t watch it without crying – because I see so much of myself and Ashlee in this. I hope you will enjoy it.