Musings From A Musical Mind

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Today my little girl is 22.  I remember exactly where I was 22 years ago.  It’s funny how so many years can go by – but it can seem just like a few moments.  And it was a true “defining” moment for me.  Life was forever altered and changed because of that baby.  I ceased living just for myself that day – looking at life through the eyes of what it would mean for Ashlee.

I had many dreams for her – even some “baby blues” which is natural when you have a new baby.  I remember standing over her crib when she was new born and wondering how I was ever going to “live up” to all that was needed from me.  It was and still is – a sobering thought and a serious commitment to another human being.  Even waiting 6 years to have her – didn’t quite prepare me for the emotions of total helplessness and love that I felt.

She was and always has been – very independant of spirit and willful – from a wee baby into her teens.  I didn’t know how we were going to “handle” her at times.  But I always knew of her sweet sensitive and generous nature – and clung to that through the difficult years.  She and I would go “head to head” many times over the years – concerning “boys” or other areas of maturity – and Greg always believed that it was just a matter of time and all would be well.  He saw so much of himself in her and knew that when she just “grew up” it would be okay.  For me I could not identify in so many things – as I was always an “old soul” and always did what was expected of me.  That can be both good and bad as I have recently discovered.  Ashlee was free of any of that – she was and still is – very “black and white” what you see is what you get.  She doesn’t play games – she is straight forward and no nonsense – remarkable qualities and very useful as she enters adulthood.

I have many memories from our past 22 years of “investment” in this beautiful young woman – and many more still to come as she gets married in less than a month to a wonderful man.  Soon there will be another chapter of “memories” for us as a family – and someday Ashlee and I will share something else really special – her children.

Below is a scene from an amazing movie, “Mamma Mia” – it is a scene between Mother and Daughter and I can’t watch it without crying – because I see so much of myself and Ashlee in this.  I hope you will enjoy it.

God Bless

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Comments on: "Slipping Through My Fingers…" (10)

  1. Sorry for my bad english. Intresting title. It attracted me to read the complete post. Thanks

  2. Great site…keep up the good work.

  3. Oh, this was a sweet but sad post.

  4. My oldest is almost 15 and I think about how in just a few short years, she will be leaving home…it makes me sad already. I know we are supposed to train them to be able to leave and make their own families and have their own lives but I don’t wanna! LOL
    Thanks for sharing your emotional day with us.

  5. That’s a great blog Cindy! I love that part of the mivie and I too, cry when I watch that part! There aren’t too many songs out there that really capture the essence of a mother-daughter relationship like this song does. Less than a month till she’s changing her last name…:) excitingly crazy! Xoxo

  6. I know – that song does it to me everytime. There’s another song from Sandi Patty that always does that to me too – called “Anna’s Song” and her daugher is about the same age as Ashlee and that’s why the song has always been meaningful to me – I will try and find it and send it to you 🙂

    Thanks, JoJo – us Mom’s have to stick together!

  7. Oh Cindy!! I am bawling! My little girl is 19 and in a few weeks will be leaving for Nashville 1500 miles away for school. From now on she may only come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. In a year, she’ll be in Russia for a semester.

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