You know how it is. You are married a while. You get comfortable. You even start to take each other a little bit – sometimes a lot – for granted. You forget the “little things” that used to be very attractive about your mate. It’s a stretch sometimes to remember the “good old days” of courtship, the fun days of dating and flirting. Every marriage has the possibility of growing stale – and even losing emotional connection. This can be very damaging – because it happens so slowly over time – you don’t even realize it’s happening. No marriage is “safe” from outside influences and “boredom” from inside. If you think to yourself, “it would never happen to me”. Think again. I’m here to tell you that not only can it happen – it does happen and it may affect you and your marriage at some point in your life – if you’re human – and if you interact with people.
Need a recharge to your marriage? Are things just not very exciting anymore? Do you look for excitement from other sources? Have you taken your spouse for granted? Have you forgotten why you fell in love with them in the first place?
I have an antidote for this. Start dating your spouse again. I know it sounds silly. You say, “we already live together – why should we date?” I used to say that too. Oh Greg and I would occasionally go out on a weekend – and go to lunch together during the week – but it was simply having a meal together – not much “deep” conversation. Just work or kids was the topic of what we talked about.
Dating. It means getting to know each other all over again. Going back to the beginning of why you connected in the first place. All the “little things” and “little inside jokes” between the two of you – coming back into play. The flirting and playing and being like teenagers again. Dating does not have to be wasted on the teenagers and early adults. No. You should be having fun! Decide that you’re going to have fun!! Laughing and enjoying each others company. No expectations – just all the fun coming back into play.
We can become WAY too serious in this life. And I’m not playing down stresses in our lives – we have all have them. We’ve had a really tough stressful year – and yet – we have chosen to “date” again – and it’s really been sweet and fun and wonderful. It’s like discovering something new – that has been there all along – just hidden.
We go places together now like we first used to when we first discovered each other 30 years ago. Greg has been more attentive and caring than I think he ever has in all of our 28 years of marriage – and we have talked more in the last 8 months than in all the years we’ve been married too!! That’s AMAZING!!
I would say – that you both have to really want to change and adapt throughout the different seasons of life and your marriage. Don’t take anything for granted. Make “dating” a priority. Don’t let anything else – or anyone else get in the way of that. And when you have this emotional connection – then the physical connection will be really wonderful too.
If you’re a married guy reading this – I suggest that you “date” your wife again. You want some “spice” in your marriage? Surprise her by being attentive to her – by wanting to emotionally connect with her. Treat her like the most prized possession in the world! Take her with you places – enjoy being with her – hang on her every word. Listen to her heart. Meet her emotional need to be loved and cared for – no matter what. Tell her she comes first – not your job or anything else. Ask her advice on things. Take her advice and encouragement to heart. Believe me – if her emotional needs are being met – you will have a very happy wife – and a happy wife – is a loving wife – and your love life will improve so much – it will blow you away 🙂
If you are a wife reading this – Meet his needs. Period. I wrote a blog many months ago called “Men are Simple” and have had many comments and emails sent on this subject. Basically what I said in that is nothing new. Men are simple with simple needs. Admire them – they need to be the “Hero” in your life. Feed them. Especially something homemade from you – Men love to eat – be prepared for this at all times! Physical Love – we all know what that is. Fill that need. When a Man’s basic needs are met – they are much more receptive to meeting yours. I promise. You want a happy Man? Be the “fantasy” women of his dreams. Sounds simple? It is. Why do we not do it? Because life happens – stress and paying the bills. We become way too serious – lose our sense of humor – have children and are tired taking care of the house. But I promise you can turn it around! Try laughing at his jokes more – encourage him to talk more about his job – ask him questions and let him talk. Take an active interest in his life. Men love women who do this. Be more interested in him than you are in anything else – and I promise you will have results. First it will surprise him – but then he will be so flattered by it – and by the attention – that he will be putty in your hands 🙂
What are you waiting for??? Start dating your spouse today!!!