Musings From A Musical Mind

The Nothing Box…

So after posting that video a couple of days ago on Men’s vs. Women’s brains – I’ve been doing some thinking.  Not that we Women EVER STOP thinking.  No.  What I mean is that I was thinking about the video 🙂

Men have a “nothing” box.  Where they go to unwind after stress – or to just do ‘nothing’.  Women don’t have a ‘nothing’ box.  Everything is our world is connected to each other.  And I can’t find ONE SINGLE corner of my mind that doesn’t have SOMETHING in it!!  I think it’s UNFAIR and I’m just going to say it!

Last night I was trying to sleep.  I had taken a lot of medication yesterday due to a wicked headache and had dozed off and on during the day – sitting up in bed with an ice pack on my forehead.  Not a fun day.  But when it was time to sleep last night – I just couldn’t get my mind to SHUT OFF!!!  It was really ridiculous.  I looked over at my sweet sleepy husband – dreaming peacefully – I think he was even SMILING.  How dare he?  I’m tossing and turning and not comfortable and my mind is just twirling around and around and around…

So…I got to thinking – why can Men have a “nothing” box – and we can’t?? That’s very sexist – don’t you think?  They GO there.  They unwind.  They do NOTHING!!!  And we are  constantly thinking – our minds are swirling around – creating different scenarios – writing a whole book in our brains – thinking about what happened that day – the past week – the past year – oh yes – our WHOLE LIVES!!!  People we’ve loved and lost – friends that have come and gone – what we should have done differently – things we could do today – things we didn’t say – things we should say – and what about that event that happened last year – or 5 years ago – or in high school for that matter….and on and on and on and on it goes.  Not to mention the things we have to do tomorrow and the next week – and what about that piano and voice schedule – and theater class – OH MY – the music for class – how will they ever learn it – and the upcoming recital – are my boys going to be able to finish up and graduate?????  What if they can’t – I will have to start all over again – pick a new date – not that I picked the first one out yet – but that will mean I have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!   (It’s exhausting being a Woman)

So I said to Greg – he was awake by this time with my tossing and turning – “Why do guys just get to have a ‘nothing box’?  I would do ANYTHING to have one of those – especially when it’s time to go TO SLEEP!!!  But he just laughed and patted me – as if to say, “You poor thing – don’t you know that only guys can think about absolutely nothing and be very happy to do it”?  I guess he’s right.

I did try to lie very still – and imagine NOTHING.  It lasted for about 2 seconds and I found myself again thinking about SOMETHING.  I’m really no good at the ‘nothing’ box.  In fact – I’m no good at any box at all.  I’m a woman.

I do sometimes get jealous of my male counterpart – and how he can just “unwind” – and not really let things bother him much.  He handles stress and anything else thrown at him with a cool, calm and rational mind.  And I have noticed all my male friends are pretty much the same way.  A voice of reason in a ‘world gone mad’ – or so it seems to me sometimes.

I am however glad that I am able to experience things based on emotion – something men never usually do.  Once a memory has emotion tied with it – as was stated in the video – it is forever etched in the brain – NEVER to be forgotten.  This can be both positive and negative.  I am still in process learning which ones are good – and which ones are bad.  And because I am a woman – it is sometimes hard to distinguish the good from the bad when it comes to emotion and feelings connected with a memory.  But I’m learning – but I doubt I will ever really master it.

No – I’m thinking I would like a corner of my mind that I go to to just SHUT DOWN – a button I could push that would turn everything off for me – allow me to sleep – and a place where even my busy dreams wouldn’t follow me – but they do follow me – even long after I’ve surrendered to sleep.  But I’m learning to meditate on restful things – even read a passage from the Psalms is very helpful right before going to sleep.

I am trusting all of you can do the same.

God Bless

Comments on: "The Nothing Box…" (25)

  1. Much more recent that other comments- but I would like to argue that I do have a nothing box, even before reading about this figurative mental state. There are times when my mind is empty, and I cannot even try to think of something because my brain gets tired and retires to a state of idleness. Now I cannot say that this is the same as the compartmentalized box men apparently have, but it fits the description of my experience, as a woman.

  2. lapetitewoman said:

    Even though this is an old post, to accomplish the Nothing Box takes a lot of work (at least for the women). The only way I can get into the “Nothing box” mode is when my frontal lobe hurts too much from something (for example: studying) and sometimes too much thinking. I just sit, stare and don’t think. If I start thinking my frontal lobe hurts. If I stop thinking and nothing is running through my mind, I feel like I am in the Nothing box although it is probably different from men. It’s very funny though! What I hate is when I drink Chai tea in the late evening, and I find myself thinking millions of things at 12-1 AM.

    • Thanks for stopping by my blog! Yes – so true! We have the ability to think of a million things especially late at night! My husband says that’s when I come ALIVE and want to talk while he struggles to stay awake 🙂

      • lapetitewoman said:

        Lol. You should probably let him know that he should be in this Nothing Box before late at night! :p

        Just kidding..

  3. alexandra said:

    I think it does not depend on being a man or a woman to have a ‘nothing box’ as they say. What is a nothing box other than a peaceful place to unwind,no worries,no thoughts. It actually depends on the power of the mind and the mind can be trained.

    • In the video “Men vs. Women’s brains” it was shown that men have a unique ability to compartmentalize – where with women – EVERYTHING is connected to EVERYTHING. And that’s the biggest difference between men and women. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  4. […] have an undisputed ‘Nothing Box’.  A place where they go in their head to do – NOTHING.  No one is in there.  No one.  As […]

  5. Steve Bush said:

    We men do indeed have a “nothing box” as you describe. Your husband has discovered the secret to his sound and restful sleep is that is “nothing box” is empty. I find when I find sleep difficult I sit up in bed, visually pull out my “nothing box”, turn it upside down, shack it vigorously and yell at the top of my lungs “GET OUT OF MY NOTHING BOX”, naming the person or thing in the box. I then am at peace as I replace the empty box back where it belongs.

  6. […] The “Nothing” Box… October 200915 comments and 1 Like on, 3 […]

  7. Silly Lady so much time spent in our nothing box. Let me let you in on a little secret. Our nothing box is not an empty place like you think. It is a happy place that we make up where everything we ever wanted happens. We do the same in that we re live daily events contemplating we should of done, but unlike women we store the wanted results for a later day, just in case the same situation comes up. We sleep sound at night because we are thinking that we did get the girl we did get the job we reacted better in that tough situation, if we didn’t we now have a plan and we are ready for tomorrow.

  8. Thank you! If she is special and approaches him in a non intrusive way, then it should work. She has only to show interest and that she has noticed he’s different (nothing wrong with him), and hopes that everything is ok. She is not curious to know what’s bugging him if he is not willing to talk now. He will most probably reciprocate and confirm that he is in that state of mind (in his own words of course). This way she is not pushy or trying to solve a problem for him or anything. Remember we’re talking the Nothing box, where nothing is the right thing to do. He’s in hibernation anyway, and she need not be at a loss to decide what to say. Leave it at that and don’t be surprised if he himself seek to see her and snap out of it if not even open up.

  9. The irony is that most of the time there is a woman who causes man to resort to his Nothing box, and only one woman will get him out of there. The latter woman is special, in the most positive sense of the word.
    On a more general level though, many things will get him into the Nothing box but only special “things” will get him out of it.
    When in trouble, man would doze off or even fall asleep, sneak into his Nothing box, and only when he finds a solution to his problem, will he become lively and active. It is al lot like “Ctrl, Alt, Del” and go into hibernation.

  10. I think I loved the comments as much as the post! lol Thanks folks!

  11. Yes, ALL men have this “Nothing-button” that they can switch on and off! And although it’s not fair that this wasn’t handed out to us, it also has a purpose, why this is so.

    Imagine this: One day ALL men in the whole world have their brains turned off at exactly the same time. This just happened by accident; they didn’t plan on it.

    Suppose we women had this button as well and we too had it turned off at that exact moment.

    Can you imagine what would happen to this World???????

    No, it’s better this way; some of us need to keep their brains working!!:):)

    • Good Point!! You’re right – SOMEONE has to be thinking 🙂 Thanks Maya!

    • I’m so sad about the way of your thinking.

      Nothing will happen….. it will be just for few minutes and man will be concious( I mean he know what he is doing)

      You know, when I read your comment I was automatically shifted to my nothing box……

      And after this moment of relax, I decide to reply you

  12. Diane Armfield Austin said:

    Just love this one!!! The “Nothing Box” is soooo true and I appreciate you writing about it. Thank you! I’ve many times, wondered the very same thing, only I didn’t know what to call it when my husband could just shut off. Like some inward button they have to blank everything out. So I agree and find myself wishing the same things. 🙂

  13. Yes – but we WILL!! Women live up to an average of 7 years longer than Men 🙂

  14. I think I’m winded just reading this…I’m going back to my “nothing” box to unwind!
    While it seems appealing, I think women would not be able to handle all of the “nothing-ness” in our special box. That’s right; I think you’d freak out – too quiet!
    Thanks for the openness and honesty Cindy…I still don’t know how you women are going to outlive us with all your stress!

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