I have decided that if Men can have a ‘nothing box’ then women should be allowed a ‘something box’. It seems fair and right. Oh I know a couple of my good guys friends are going to take issue with this – including my husband – because it is a well know fact that men are the only ones allowed a ‘box’.
But I want my readers to know that I am not in the least bit competitive by nature. I even let people pass and cut in front of me on the freeway. To me it is NOT a race and some crazy status symbol to be ‘King of the Road’. I simply don’t care who gets ahead of me on the road – or even gets there before I do. I have far too many other things pressing – and that seems very trivial to me. So you can trust me when I say that my ‘something box’ was not just created to prove something to all the men in my life. It is as real as your sorry little ‘nothing box’. Only better. Much better.
Now the ‘nothing box’ is undisputed as well – and anyone who is married to a man – or has a son – or both – knows what I am referring to. It’s that blank look on their face when you are talking to them. It can be in the middle of a sentence and all of a sudden – they just ‘check out’. Unbelievable. I don’t think I would have believed it if I had not witnessed it hundreds of times over the years. There is no one like a man that can do this with such skill and precision. It’s a thing of beauty, really.
We have an eighteen year old son that still lives at home. At least he sleeps here sometimes – Okay he drives MY car and EATS here. That about sums it up. He will come home from work, school or basketball practice and can be looking right at me – eye ball to eye ball – and I will feel like he’s totally engaged in my conversation – I mean he looks like he is – UNTIL – that blank look that only guys have – comes across his countenance and I KNOW he’s gone to the ‘box’. I will say, “Shawn, did you hear ANYTHING I said”? And it will take him a long time to put the words together and figure out that I was actually asking him a question. And then it will be “Uhhh – were you talking to me”? I mean come on. He was looking RIGHT at me!!! The ‘nothing box’.
My husband does this too – but he has more skill. He’s been married to me for 28 years now and knows how to play the game a little better – at least he fakes it. We will be talking – again – eye ball to eye ball – and he will seem engaged in what I’m saying – and believe me, we have talked HOURS and HOURS in the last year – and then it happens. I see the signs. He can’t fool me. It used to be something I called the ‘lizard blink’ which said, “I’m so tired – when is she going to shut up??” But ever since our children (much smaller than they are now) caught on to the ‘lizard blink’ they teased their father unmercifully – and he learned NOT to do it anymore. It meant that he was NOT listening anymore to them either!!
No – he has tried to be clever and conceal his going prematurely to his ‘nothing box’ – and now does something with his mouth. I can’t explain it – I’ve tried to mimic it – and I’ve even tried to show him what he does – and he FLATLY refuses that he’s doing it!! What ever am I to do with these guys? I’m surrounded by testosterone and it’s not pretty sometimes. No one has perfected the “look” quite like my dear husband. He does LOVE his ‘box’.
So I have a ‘something box’. I cannot have a ‘nothing box’ because as soon as I would go to it – I would decorate it – and then it would cease to be ‘nothing’. No – it’s better that I have a ‘something box’. I can decorate it any way I like – bring anybody in to visit – knock ideas and thoughts around – play music – write blogs – compose music – plan my day – etc. etc.
The other night I couldn’t sleep. I was moving around a lot – had a lot on my mind and my mind simply would NOT stop!!! I scooted over to my sleepy husband who NEVER has trouble sleeping and told him I couldn’t sleep. He patted me on the head and told me to go to my ‘nothing box’ which he happily lives in. I explained to him that I don’t HAVE a ‘nothing box’ – everything means something and is connected to something else – well it’s just impossible, that’s all. So I started thinking about my ‘something box’ instead – and it worked. I went there and was very contented doing all the things that I needed to do.
You could say that instead of whispering sweet ‘nothings’ in my husband’s ears – I whisper, ‘something’ – it seems to work. ☺☺☺
Have a great day!