My husband Greg is a Pastor – a Celebrant – or Minister. Whatever title you choose to give him – he’s ordained with the Assemblies of God and does Weddings and Funeral services full time for a living.
The following excerpt is taken from a wedding that he performed yesterday:
Genesis 2:18, 24
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh.
“God said, “I’ll make a helper suitable…”
He specifically designed a man and a woman to be “suitable” to one another…to be compatible…he made it to “work” together well
(You both work at Microsoft…you know about programs “compatible” and “incompatible” and what that can mean)
– and I know there are personality types that seem to work beter with or “click” with – I get that…
– but you know what I’ve found?
– the biggest challenge to a relationship (and especially in the marriage relationship) is that there are more incompatible people than incompatible relationships!
Interesting quote I read…
“When a man marries a woman, they become one but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one”
– what am I saying here?
* God made us well – he didn’t mess up
* love and marriage are His design – and wow, did He do a great job!
* just as he made Adam and Eve (from the beginning) to be “suitable” (compatible) for one another….AND HERE’S THE KEY…
– YOU need to continue to be “suitable”
– you must continue to be “compatible” all through your married life…(let me burst a bubble here: it’s not automatic!)
* it’s in what you decide to do
* make the choice from the start to remain “suitable” to one another
* right now it’s “marriage 1.0” – you’ve run the “install” disk, but you’ll need to constantly adapt/upgrade…marriage 2.0 and so on!
* because you know what? You will go through seasons of changes in your lives, individually and as a couple
– you won’t be the same in 5 years that you are right now…or 10, 0r 25, or 50…
– my wife Cindy and I are definitely in a new season right now after 28 years of marriage than we were when we stood where you are standing now…
* I’m sure your parents could echo the same thing…marriages go through different “seasons“
Now, here’s the secret that so many miss – the deepest joy and satisfaction your married life will bring you…
* it’s the continued compatibility of saying “I will learn, I will grow and adjust to the changes taking place in our relationship, I will continue to love you deeply no matter what the cost” ( I will upgrade to marriage 2.0 and so on!)
– I will continue to “know you” on the deepest level
* even when I don’t “get it” ( when I feel like I’ve had a system crash!) – or when I am supremely frustrated in the process
– I will continue to be authentic with you about who I am on the deepest level (I won’t stuff!)
* That’s being “compatible” – that’s being “suitable” – and you know what – that’s what will bring you the lifelong satisfaction in your marriage that God designed you to have!”
Isn’t he the cutest? So many request him to perform their weddings – and he specifically designs a whole message around who they are and what they do for a living.
I loved this particular example – because I have been so FRUSTRATED with my computer over this last year – and will try to run a program only to have it NOT speak to my computer because I don’t have the most current “upgrade”. Marriage is so similar.
Are you upgrading your Marriage? Downloading the files necessary to co-exist and effectively communicate? Do you need to have a “systems crash” before you DO something about it? I would say to you – do the maintenance and avoid the “crash” – but if the “crash” is the only way to rebuild your marriage – then God can even use your brokenness and failure to restore your “system” back to a healthier and stronger marriage.
Do the steps
Talk it out