Musings From A Musical Mind


I can’t believe how fast this last year has gone! March is here already. I love March – it has many great memories over the years. March is my birthday month – it is also the month I became engaged when I had just turned 20. Now 29 years later – it is with very fond memories that I look back – but also look forward too ☺

I have learned much over the years about how different people process important events in their lives – by knowing the 4 different personality types – and also by learning and studying the 5 love languages. If you are not familiar with those – let me list them for you:

1) Words of Affirmation

2) Quality Time

3) Acts of Service

4) Physical touch

5) Gift giving

Most of us – Okay – ALL of us make the mistake of giving what WE like getting. It is only natural – it’s what makes us – US. However it can feel very disappointing when things are not returned to us – in the same manner in which we are giving them – because – it may not – (and most likely IS NOT) their love language.

For example:

I love “Words of Affirmation” and “Acts of Service” the best. It doesn’t mean that I don’t like the other things – just not as much. Gifts are nice – just not MY love language. So I’m not a great card and gift person – but I do understand that others really like this – so I really try. I am an encourager so I will use my “words” to build up and encourage others. It is what I like – so it’s what I tend to give. But I’m also a very private person – needing quite a bit of space. And even though I love “physical touch” especially with Greg, my kids and my special close friends – I would also say that I love my times alone too. I tend to give people a lot of time and space – because it’s what I like. I don’t like to talk much on the phone either – I would rather write – because that’s where I’m more comfortable – and it allows me that “space” while still connecting. My family and close friends understand that about me.

My husband LOVES “quality time” and “physical touch”. He doesn’t like being alone – but he knows that I do – so he’s had to compromise on this point over the years – allow me some time and space by myself to regroup and refresh. He wants my TIME more than he wants my WORDS. And a hug and kiss go a LONG way with him. He gives me “acts of service” because he knows that it speaks to me – so he does MANY things around the house to help me. And since resigning his church position over a year ago now – we have logged HUNDREDS of hours talking – in the “talking room”. I have really needed this from him – and he has been willing to learn how to connect with me emotionally and to really listen. It has been great!

For others of you – it may be a card or a gift that you need to give someone. You may need to offer an “act of service” to someone you love. Or you may need to give someone some “space” – or some “time”. Find out what their love language is – and then do it!

Learn how others can recieve love from you – by learning what speaks to them. Do you like a lot of fuss on your birthday? My husband and many of my family members do. But I like things in a more quiet way for mine. I love the “words” from people – gifts are nice too – but I don’t like much fuss – it makes me uncomfortable. Celebrating with people close to me is the best – very quiet like. My husband knows this – and is great about making it special for me – in a way that speaks my “love language”.

How do you celebrate special occasions? Do others speak your “love language”? Remember we tend to “give” what we want to “receive” from others. Be sensitive to others today – be a “love language” expert to those closest to you today!

Have a super AWESOME March 1st!!

God Bless


Comments on: "March" (7)

  1. Greg Holman said:

    Cindy, how true that we give the kind of things we like to receive – so right on there! It is very important to do our best to get past our own language and learn what best will speak to others.
    I think I’m going to combine my two love languages into one new one; “quality touch”!

  2. I think all individuals are complex simply because we all inherit tendences from generations in our families that go way back to the 2nd and 3rd generations,however, in God’s sight we are all unique and wonderfully made.

    This would be a dull world if we were all the same. As Christians we are to appreciate everyone and are required to love and make allowances for those who are different.

    My husband and I are different in some ways but looking at the 5 Love Languages it seems to me we have practised all of these for 55 years. The only change we would make in the list is to put Quality time as number one because our family is very important in our lives. In this busy world we count it a privilege when ever our family spares the time to visit us.

    Our wonderful daughters are different in some ways and in other ways they are the same. In them we see some ancestor traits as well as traits of their parents.

    We would all like to be perfect but we are not-only God sees us perfect as He looks at us through the blood of Jesus.

  3. Great post Cindy!

  4. This is such an important lesson to learn – especially in family relationships! Kelly’s love language is very much acts of service first, then words of affirmation. It is so tough for me to remember that because mine is Physical Touch and Quality Time. However, I am also a very private person and like my “alone time”! So, I’m a mystery wrapped in contradictions! My poor wife…And then there are the kids! Goodness, each one is so different. You would think with four kids, the odds of having at least two alike would go up. Alas…nope! Each is so unique with their own “love language” and discovering that and connecting with them through it has been terribly difficult. Goodness. The Good Lord should could have made it easier on us if he’d just wired us all the same! But for some reason, He really like creativity and diversity. So, here we are…

    • You and Kelly are a lot like Greg and me 🙂 Except that you and I are the deep introspective – and we’re the writers and both like our “alone” time too 🙂 We’re just special like that!

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