Musings From A Musical Mind

When You Struggle

My husband Greg does funeral services and wedding ceremonies for a living – it is his own small business – out of our home.  He loves doing the memorials much better than the weddings – because he is highly relational – and feels a connection with each one of the people that he meets with and walks through the grieving process with.  It is a unique gift – not everyone can do it.  I know it would be difficult for me – I would get TOO involved in the emotion of it and would not be able to separate – and would be no help whatever.  I’ve been at some of his services and I’m bawling like a baby from the grief that I feel for the family – and he is so composed and handles the stress and emotion of the moment so well.

He has noticed something special about the person who grieves – and can identify with the scripture, “blessed are they who mourn”  because he has seen the powerful effect in a person’s life – and seen the hand of God touch those that grieve.  There is a special unique quality in those who struggle.

We sometimes think that we are weak when we do – so we try to deny it – or push it down, pretending that we do not hurt or question or have any problems.  But the truth is that God’s grace and mercy is poured out in a unique and special way to those of us that do.

I have seen those that have lost a loved one – my friend lost a young husband to cancer – I’ve witnessed those that have lost a child, a sibling – or a parent.  It is the same grief.  It is the same sadness.  There are no words.  It is a very private struggle.  It is a private pain.  But there is also something very special about those “who mourn”.  For the promise for those that do – there is a time when there will be no more sadness – no more tears – no more separation – no more grief or regret.  And God’s comfort can be very close and real to those that ache from pain here on earth – in a very real and personal way.

Pain is something that can make us strong – not weak if we allow Him to gently heal us over time – and though we do not forget – we are covered in peace and washed in love.  In a daily – continual way.  Events in our lives can draw us nearer to God – and He is right there as a constant companion in the good times of life – and in the dark times too.

And as my friend told me just today – it is important to know that when we struggle – God is looking down on us and saying, “You’re my favorite”  and that is something that we can be assured of – that He not only understands – but He is working behind the scenes of our lives – going before us on our journey to bring people and events in our lives that are further confirmation that we are special to Him – and that He’s always thinking about us – whispering to us, “you are my favorite”.

I am praying for each and every one of you today – that as you struggle – you will remember these words of comfort and know that He is with you – you are not alone – you are special and His “favorite” today.

God Bless

Comments on: "When You Struggle" (6)

  1. I’m with Greg – I always preferred doing a memorial service over a wedding. In a funeral or memorial service people are dealing with reality and tend to be very real and transparent with each other. At the wedding, no one is dealing with reality! LOL…well, that will come later, I suppose.

    Psalm 34:8 is a great reminder of God’s grace and mercy to all persons involved in grief and loss. He seems to be especially present in human suffering of any kind grieving with us over the results of sin and a fallen world because it is so far from what he desires for us.

  2. Greg Holman said:

    Great thoughts Cindy! Thanks for writing them.
    One of the scriptures that I’ve found incredibly comforting along the lines of what you have written above is found in Psalm 34:18; “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

  3. I would feel the same way Cindy. Greg, you are pretty special to be able to do this.

    While I do understand the grief that comes from losing a child, I think the worst grief I felt is when an unsaved member of my family dies, especially when they were so strong in their nonbelief.

    • I think you are right. Greg has often said that this situation is the most difficult – to do a memorial service where it’s pretty clear that person was not in right relationship with God. It is of no comfort to “arm twist” the family members and friends who are grieving into a quick decision and hold them “spiritually and emotionally” hostage. It is when nothing can be done that words of comfort are needed for the bereaved – and Greg is very good at this. Our salvation message should be one of love and mercy – we should be living a contagious Christian life so that others want to follow after Jesus in the same way.

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