Musings From A Musical Mind

Giving Up My Control

The other day I was having trouble with a web browser on my computer – it wouldn’t let me do certain things I had always been able to before – for some weird reason. I tried to ‘uninstall’ the program so I could go back to another web browser. It would not ‘remove’ – no matter what I did. Stupid, stubborn thing. So I enlisted help from an online computer ‘fixer’ guy – in association with Microsoft products. I was immediately put in touch with a guy in their web chat room so he could access my problem and help me remove my stubborn program.

It was determined that there was a corrupted file making it impossible to remove it without help. He said he would have to get my permission to ‘take control’ of my computer and find the problem. I was okay with this having had something similar in the past where a ‘techie guy’ took control and ‘fixed’ my problem for me. But anytime someone asks you to ‘give up control’ over something – it is always a risk. What if he gets into something and messes it up? What if he isn’t who he says he is? What if he’s a ‘stalker’ and looking for personal information? What if he’s an identity thief? I know I called him – but you NEVER KNOW, right?

Well – long story short – I decided to trust him. I needed him to fix my problem and I had to trust him. It is ALWAYS a weird feeling to have someone tell you, “please don’t touch your mouse while I’m working” and then sit back and just watch. It was fascinating watching how quickly he went to certain files and fixed them – or deleted them. It took his expert trained eye (having done this repair work so much) to find the problem areas and solve them. I tried to keep up – making many ‘mental notes’ to myself to try to learn what he did so I could help myself in the future and not have to call on anybody to help me. But sadly – I’m unqualified for the job. It’s over my head – and it’s best to give up my control to someone who knows better.

As I pondered the experience – I was keenly aware of the similarities this had to my spiritual life. Not everything is a practical lesson – but this one was. So many times I have tried to ‘fix’ something in my life – or in someone else’s life – only to be in WAY over my head. But I like to think that I can do it – because if I’m really honest – I don’t like giving my control away. Even to God. By admitting I can’t do it – or that I’m weak – somehow I think that HE is going to do something that I wouldn’t be as happy with. Maybe He’ll ‘fix’ the problem in a way I don’t want Him to. Maybe He will remove people from my life just like deleting files that are corrupted on my computer – and I don’t want Him to. Or maybe He will fix an area with another person that I’m not ready to forgive yet.

When we give over our control to Him – we cannot take it back while He is still working. He whispers, “please don’t touch anything while I’m working” and we must be content to sit back and watch Him work – going quickly over the areas of my heart and mind that need to be ‘fixed’ and ‘changed’ – and removing things that are making me unhealthy and slowing me down. It is quick work when I ‘give up my control’. The slow part is me – allowing it. Allowing Him total access. Admitting I can’t do it alone. This is the tough part. This is the scary part. He always knows how to solve them.

I am on a journey. I am still learning this. I’m learning that when He cleans something – it is clean. When He deletes thoughts and people from my life – they must stay that way. And when he fixes what it wrong with me – He does it from the inside out – encouraging me to stay close to Him – willing to ‘give up my control’ at a moments notice when I should try to stray away. His unbelievable grace does not keep reminding me how inadequate I am – instead He encourages and restores with amazing love.

My prayer for you today is this: that you would learn to ‘give up your control’ and watch some amazing things happen in your own life. Surrendering control – one step at a time – and really trusting that He can do a much better job of ‘fixing’ those areas that you try so hard to hang on to. Watch Him solve your situation as you let it go. Let go of it – do it today.

God Bless

Comments on: "Giving Up My Control" (4)

  1. This is a great illustration, Cindy. Well done! For my part, I have found that “giving control” to God is not the hard part. It is keeping my fingers out of it afterward that is the hard part! Or, I want to be God’s adviser or coach. Someone once remarked about the bumper sticker that says, “God is my co-pilot” that if that really is the case then you need to SWITCH SEATS! However, I have found that I also make a lousy co-pilot. I need to move back to the passenger section (and sometimes it helps to close the curtains and not watch! especially through terrible storms).

    It’s not so much that I mind God fixing me and my life problems. It is the way He chooses to do it or the journey He takes me on to get it done. I’m often asking, “Couldn’t there be an EASIER way??!” Which is often met with silence. After all, being God, He doesn’t have to explain Himself anymore than the potter has to explain himself to his clay creation when it asks, “Why did you make me this way?”

    At any rate, acknowledging our brokenness is the first step. Yielding control is the next. Staying yielded seems to be the hard part for me. The older I get it seems to me that I more clearly recognize how unyielding the flesh/carnal nature really is. What a wretched place to be stuck in Romans 6 and 7. Thank God for Romans 8!

    • Thanks Ron – you are always so encouraging! Because of the similar path that you have been on in terms of ministry and brokeness – you really understand my journey back to trusting people again – and mostly myself. Giving up my right to say, “Why God are you fixing it THIS way?” and so many more like this. You get the totally helpless and frustrating feeling of appearing a certain way – but feeling another. You get it. And I’m very thankful that you do. Your constant encouragement proves and validates to me that I am indeed on the correct path of healing through authenticity – and when you find a true friend who not only knows how you feel – but is also walking it – it is a beautiful thing. Thanks for being that kind of friend to me 🙂

  2. I love to give control of techie things over to an expert, cuz I’m so…NOT! But I do have trouble allowing God to control my life. I often give Him control, but I find I seem to want to take it back so often. May God help me to leave things in His capable hands.

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