Musings From A Musical Mind

Your Healing Touch

Last night I watched a movie about a terminally ill man.  The man was in his forties – was divorced and had a 16-year-old rebellious son.  In one scene he collapses and ends up in the hospital – talking with a young nurse on night duty about his regrets and his life.  He tells her about his son – his painful divorce and no one to love him.  She asks him what he would do if he knew he only had 4 months to live and he tells her, “I’d build a house”  She feels compassion for him and reaches out to touch him.  He pulls back and tells her that he’s uncomfortable with touch – because no one has touched him in a long time – in fact he couldn’t remember the last time someone in his life had done that.   A look of understanding comes across her face and she quietly closed the curtain that surrounded his bed and then sits down next to him and touches him. She lovingly strokes his head with her soft hands and lets him feel her warmth as she placed both her hands on his face – on his cheeks.  It was one of the most moving scenes I have ever seen in a movie – there was no sound from either of them – just simple, tender human touch.

I have known people like this in my life.  People who desperately needed to be loved and touched.  Those that for their own reasons – shrink back from people touching them – even though they really need it.    I can only imagine that they are ‘prickly’ and pull away because of fear – fear of rejection or of being hurt – or maybe because of a bad experience – an abusive parent or harsh teacher – an angry boyfriend or girlfriend – or maybe even a physically abusive spouse.  I even knew one male friend that barely escaped with his own life from an abusive and mentally disturbed spouse.  These events and more can make people feel ‘unloved’ and cause them to pull away from touch and love from those around them.  A hug might be no big deal to you and me – after all I give them everyday – to my husband and kids – my friends and students – but I always know the ones that have a hard time accepting my touch – my love – any physical form of connection – such as a hug or simple squeeze around the shoulders – or on the hand.  And yet – I know it is very important that they feel it.  And it is very important that I touch them – anyway.

Jesus touched people.  The unlovely.  The sick and diseased.  The ones that others would turn away from.  He reached out – and touched them.  And in that simple act of intimacy – people were healed – both emotionally and physically.  Jesus healed people from the inside out.  His touch was like a healing balm of oil poured on their heads and it released something sick and dying inside – all with a touch.

There is power in touch today.  Ever have a good massage?  That touch is healing and releases something tight and pent-up inside your muscles.  If done right – and deep enough into the tissue people have actually been known to cry – something is released and even deep memories of past can be brought out.  It is not unusual to have people become emotional during a massage – because sometimes it is just what that person needs.  The loving touch of someone.  Gently stroking those tired and sore muscles – going deep into the stress and fatigue of everyday living – of regret and heartache.  Bringing relief – bringing joy and release.

How much more important is it to touch those we love?  How important is a hug, a caress, a kiss?  It is HUGE.  We need to touch our kids – hug them lots and make sure we express something through our gently, loving and much-needed embrace.

The human touch.  The healing embrace.  The caress that says much more than mere words can.  The silent love language of touch. It is still needed as we grow and mature into adulthood.  Sometimes more so if you didn’t have it much as a child – or if you’ve been through something traumatic and painful.  The touch that says, “I see you.  I care.  You are valuable to me”

Don’t be afraid to reach out and touch someone.  It may be the only thing that someone understands.  It may be the only thing that someone is missing in their life.  You may be the only link they have to forming an opinion about a loving God.  Your touch and reaching out to them – may be the one thing that makes them want to know more about God and his loving embrace.  So hug them.  Your touch may be the only Jesus they can understand.

God Bless

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Comments on: "Your Healing Touch" (6)

  1. This was a very…(shall I say it?)…”touching” blog article, Cindy! HA! (Yeah, I know…but I couldn’t resist…honestly, couldn’t. I did try. Well, OK…not very hard.)

    My four children and my wife all receive touch differently and have different need levels of touch. This is something that is important to learn in our close relationships. We could be attempting to communicate love through touch in our touch language when it really doesn’t connect with them. My daughter, Julian, and my wife, Kelly, are not “touchy-feely” people at all. They say all the time, “I’m just not a ‘huggy’ person.” However, other forms of touching them are important. It’s just that a hug doesn’t not communicate much to them.

    • Thanks Ron – thankfully Shawn is very ‘hugging’ like Greg and I are – but not my daughter – although she will do it if she has too – not her love language, though.

  2. Believe it or not, I’m one of those touch-phobics, Cindy. I’m better than I used to be and okay with family and friends I know and care for. But if a stranger goes to hug me, I’m very likely to shrink back and hurt their feelings. I don’t do it intentionally. Still. . . I don’t like being touched by strangers. My dad was worse. He grew up very cold and he was like that with me. He never touched me, except in anger. As he got older, he realized what he had done. At my grandfather’s funeral, he reached out to hug me as he knew I was hurting bad. My grandfather was much more important in my life than he was and he knew it. I shrank back with a horror that made this cold-hearted man break down and cry in public. We managed to get a bit better about things before he died, but I still wish it had been different.

    JoJo is right. Touch and body language are a big part of communication skills. It’s not taught. It should be. There are many who know nothing about it until it’s too late.

    • I’m so sorry that happened to you Carla. Life just isn’t fair sometimes. To grow up around angry cold people is just wrong – on any level especially for a child. I am glad to see that it has not prevented you from being very loving and kind to your family and friends. And it seems that God has allowed you to walk that lonely and dark road of your past – to bring light and victory to your journey today – as your ‘touch’ others with your words. Keep it up Carla – we’re with you!

  3. I’m a very huggy/touchy person. I do find that it is something I need to be careful of though as some do shrink away from touch. And in some instances it is inappropriate for a woman to touch a man even if it is not anything of a sexual nature. But in that instance and others it can be the most effective communication. I teach communication skills and I can tell you that words are not even the most valuable part of communication. It’s just what gets all the credit. Most people only think of speeches and choosing the right words when they think of communication skills. But did you know that 93% of a conversation isn’t the words we use? It’s our body language, gestures, eye contact, tone of voice, etc. You can say exactly the same words in different ways with different body language and it can send the complete opposite message. I’d love to know the name of that movie. Sounds wonderful.

    • I believe this. Touch is is most important and it connects us in an emotional way that mere words can’t. I too have to be careful because it is easy for me to give hugs to everyone and can be tricky with those of the opposite sex if not done in a ‘friendship’ only kind of way. I LOVE my friends and hug them often – they all know that when they are with me – they will be touched and hugged – it’s one of the way I communicate that I ‘see them’ and I ‘value them’.

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