I’ve been trying to shake a feeling the last couple of days. Oh nothing serious. You know. The feeling that things are overwhelming and daunting. Nothing really is – it’s just a feeling.
I call it a mixture of the blues and blahs.
The author Jaime Buckingham, knew what this was. He said his wife had it once a month – he called it her, ‘once a month – nobody loves me’ period. And I will agree that for us women – it sometimes is chemical – nothing more. But I know a lot of men that feel this way too – so it has to be something more. The heart feels broken and sad.
The ‘blues’ – what exactly are they? Where do they come from? Why do we feel like this? Why can’t we just ‘snap out of it’?
I’ve never been one to stay ‘blue’ for very long. My personality is pretty upbeat most of the time – I’d say I’m even-tempered and not ‘down in the dumps’ too often. Even ‘grumpy’ very often – although I have my days like everyone else.
Elton John had a great song, “I guess that’s why they call it the blues” – and for some reason I can relate to those lyrics. They speak about the human condition, relationships, feelings and emotions – the ‘blues’ – and sadness that comes from giving our heart away.
I think it’s healthy to recognize what brings us down. For me it could be anything, really. Trying to figure things out – that I know I never can – this can drive me crazy and bring me down. Or worrying about things that may or may not happen – another thing that can bring me down. I don’t consider myself a ‘worrier‘ but I can get ‘sad’ or ‘stressed’ when I can’t solve an issue.
Our pastor spoke about: ‘How to deal with worry’ on Sunday. Great message. If we don’t get a hold of my own worry (stress – or being uptight) – it will eat me up inside. I know for me – I need to concentrate on Jesus – and what He’s trying to teach me through the ‘blah’ and ‘blue’ – yes – the sad days. I hear Him so much better in these kind of days – than in the ‘sunshine’ days of my life. When I’m ‘blue’ and ‘blah’ – I am still. And I can hear His voice so much better.
For me – it doesn’t work to just ‘busy myself’ with other projects and things. Or even friendships. I need to be alone with Jesus and let Him fill me up again. And it’s nice to know that he will not scold me for not being busy or not getting my work done. He wants me to spend that time – doing nothing. Just sitting at His feet. Taking Him in. Letting Him penetrate my being. Not worrying about what others will say. Just stopping. And waiting. And being still.
He speaks to me in my writing as well. It is like He just takes over and the words just flow. The words that are helpful and give great insight to others – but mostly – they are for me alone. Healing words of life and joy.
And I know – that in time – my ‘blues’ and ‘blahs’ will finally go away. But not right away – not until He is done speaking to me – gently correcting me. Making sure that my heart isn’t so sad that I will do and say the wrong things – or react out of pain and heartache – or even….revenge. Making sure that in my ‘blues’ I don’t start pointing my finger at someone else and blaming. He works with my heart and motives and deals with me alone. As long as it takes…And because I am stubborn and still want things and situations – my own way – it takes time. I’m getting a little better. But I still have a long way to go.
How about you? What are your ‘blues’ and ‘blahs’ today? Maybe – God is trying to speak to you through this. Stop and listen. He is there waiting in the silence and sadness.