Musings From A Musical Mind

Bed made with white bed linen. Four fluffy pil...

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Greg and I have been married 29 years.  And I still find it a bit unsettling to wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and come back to find him there – in my bed. You’d think I’d be used to the idea by now – but it is still a very foreign idea to actually be in the same bed all night with someone.  Marriage does indeed take many adjustments – and it’s all well and good when you’re in a vertical situation – but it is quite another thing altogether when you are horizontal.  And I’m not meaning that in any other way – than just plain sleeping.

I don’t think it’s normal and natural for people to sleep together – I’m more convinced of that than ever.  After all – ‘Royal’ couples never sleep in the same bed chamber (at least when they are  sleeping). And I think they may have the right idea.  They need their “beauty sleep” – and frankly – so do I!

Who started this strange assumption that just because you are married – you have to sleep in the same bed all night?  What kind of warped and twisted mind must you have to evoke that evil plan?  To thrust as it were, two innocent people together all night long and expect that there will be peaceful and effective sleep?  Two people with completely different sleeping habits and sounds?  I think those people need to be hung up by their toenails and whipped soundly until the idea leaves them entirely.

This morning Greg woke up – peered over at me in my sleepy state and grunted, “I HATE this blasted pillow!”  What pillow, you may ask?  It is the pillow that I purchased for him – the contour variety which is very good for the neck and back.  He hates it.  And we have the same discussion every night about it.  He has spent years trying to find just the right pillow – and so I finally intervened and bought the same pillow for him that I use.  When he uses it and elevates his head slightly in our adjustable bed – he doesn’t snore.  It’s wonderful.  It’s bliss.  It’s a kind of freedom that everyone should feel when forced to sleep with someone else of the opposite sex.  But he does not see it that way.  I catch him many times in the middle of the night having an argument with the pillow and I’ve even witnessed him tossing the pillow over the side of the bed – thinking I will not notice.  I always do.

He had me laughing so hard this morning because he was telling me of his nightly “woes” with the pillow.  He even reminded me that I have tried to teach him the ‘proper’ way to lay his head on it – (but he refuses to learn) therefore reducing any stress he might feel.  It is hilarious how stubborn he is about this pillow – and the way he chooses to put his head on it (or doesn’t as the case may be) – and I’ve had many a good laugh over this!  I mean – how hard can it be to put your neck into the contour – the pillow does all the work for you – if you don’t fight it!

Sometimes in the middle of the night it is so hilarious to look over – and then have the reality set in, “I am really married to this man – he looks really dumb”  (I’m sure everyone has thought this at one time or another)  Only at night, though – when he’s fully awake – and upright – he’s very handsome – it must be just in the dark or something – or maybe it’s the pillow.  I don’t know – I’m all confused now.

I like to sleep on my back – and sometimes my side so the pillow is excellent for me.  I’m also very quiet – except when I can’t breathe due to allergies – but that doesn’t happen too often, luckily.  Greg is pretty noisy – breathes loud – sighs loud – snores loud.  Greg like to “spin” and even (*gasp*) sleep on his stomach!  Horrors.  So the ‘pillow’ has cured him and even stopped his snoring – of which I’m delighted.  When he used to snore very badly (before the pillow) we even tried having him in a separate room at night for a few months – but Greg didn’t like it very well.  He was lonely and -Shhh – I think he’s afraid of the dark. So as long as he’s using the pillow and slightly elevated – all is well ☺ And we are back sleeping in the same bed at night.  What a blasted, unthinkable and horrible idea.  But it seems to work ♥  And we sure can see the humor in it and make each other laugh – so it’s worth it.
Except – he HATES the pillow.  Other than that – we are good.

Yes – Marriage makes for very strange bedfellows.


Comments on: "Marriage Makes For Strange Bedfellows" (7)

  1. If I had a dollar for every woman who didn’t sleep in the spare bedroom now and then I’d been a billionaire. 🙂

    All kidding aside: We seem to have a “pillow problem” as well; I’ve tried each and every one of them for Dh, but he’s still complaining. Oh, and snoring!!! 🙂

  2. I’m all for separate beds. Seriously. I am the world’s lightest sleeper, plus I have a sleep disorder. I rarely sleep more than an hour or two at a time without waking up. Usually, it’s more like 10-15 minutes. Ray comes to bed later. So I could’ve just fallen asleep and here he comes. . . boom! I’m awake.

    Not to mention that we have this humongous king size bed. We used to put all 3 kids in with us when they were smaller and we still had plenty of room. So. . . after 38 years, where does he sleep? On my side! grrrrrrrrrrr Most nights, I get booted off the other side. I sleep light; he sleeps HARD. He says, “Well, just wake me up and tell me to move.” Much easier said than done. I’ve ended up in my desk chair on more than one occasion.

    So as far as I’m concerned, bring on the separate beds! I like space. . . mine. But this guy I’ve known for like forever. . . well, he’s not quite as in favor of it as I am. UGH

    • You and I are very much alike, Carla! I’m a super light sleeper – we have a HUGE King size bed too – and Greg is a cuddler – NOT ME! I like things a certain way when I go to sleep – a quiet dark room – with no snoring – I’m funny that way. Greg now works nights and gets home between 2-4am some nights and it does wake me up – and makes for a difficult sleeping arrangement – but we’ve adjusted. The separate room and bed things works great for me – but NOT for Greg! Ugh is right! I love him though – even if he is pesky at night – he’s worth it ♥

  3. I know married couples who don’t sleep in the same bed and it sounds kind of strange to me. My dh also snores and also has one of those pillows. They don’t work on him. My dh is a very talented snorer. He can snore so loud people hear him in the next house. He can snore with his face in the pillow on his stomach. I never met a snore remedy that worked on him. EVER! And we’ve been married almost 24 yrs.

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