Watched an episode of ‘Family Ties‘ tonight. We loved that 80’s series when we were a young married couple – and so now we own it on DVD. It’s still just as fresh and funny to us as it was 25 years ago – great writing.
Tonight the episode was more serious – dealing with a delicate subject about ‘feelings’ and mostly about ‘telling the truth’ about those feelings. It was strangely familiar and brought up much dialogue for Greg and me. It was a little like looking into a mirror. A mirror that I’m not sure I wanted to look in.
I love how in a sitcom – things can be worked out in about 23 minutes – every episode has a problem and a conclusion and all is worked out and everyone feels good about it – problem solved for another day. This episode was no exception. It took a very complicated problem and simplified it – and had the people responding correctly to the problem – at the end of the show. Wouldn’t it be great if real life was as simple – and people responded to things as nicely?
Real life has people coming and going in and out of your life – responding correctly or sometimes incorrectly to stress, hurt, disappointment and setbacks. We don’t have any control over these things – I know I sometimes wish – Okay – ALL THE TIME I wish I had control over this fact. But the truth is – that I don’t. And even years later after some of these events that have taken place in my life – I still have to remind myself of this. I have no control. Just over myself.
It’s okay to react – it’s even okay to TOTALLY LOSE it when situations and things come at us. But the tragedy is when we allow ourselves to stay there – bound up in that reaction – inflicting more pain on ourselves and those around us. Fear is the motivator behind this – and fear can drive a HUGE wedge of misunderstanding and complications.
There is freedom in truth. It means I don’t have to create so much energy reinventing my version of the truth. There is no fear in truth. It is simple and straight forward. It means freedom. Freedom from myself – freedom from the lie I am trying so desperately hard to hang onto and make others believe. It means I can once again join the human race – instead of hiding behind that lie. I am not afraid – looking over my shoulder all the time – wondering who is going to catch on to my deceit. And even though it hurts me – and even can damage my reputation – it is still better to live in truth.
I had someone tell me the truth one time when I was going through a really bad time. She told me what I had always suspected but no one else would tell me – because they were afraid. She didn’t know me – was a neutral party sent to me to help me sort some things out. She really heard me and allowed me to express what I needed. She told me that people don’t tell you the truth because they are afraid. Afraid of reaction to the truth – and afraid that in speaking the truth – it will somehow change perspective on things and even give a wrong message of permission. And even change feelings. But it didn’t – and she knew that it wouldn’t. Truth will set you free. Truth will validate. Truth will allow you your dignity and tell you that you aren’t crazy. It will open up a whole new world in your mind and bring life and closure in the heart for whatever has gone wrong.
We need to speak more ‘truth’ – to each other in love – and to ourselves. I pray that someone will speak only the truth to you today – and that you will be honest with someone else that needs to hear it. That you will live peaceably with all men and be settled in your own heart and mind – that you did everything you could to live in truth.
- Is It Always Essential to Tell The Truth, or are There Circumstances….. (socyberty.com)
- Truth; the Extra Strength Pain Reliever (psychologytoday.com)