Yes. I am the Queen. At least in my own home. I’m sure no one else would grant me this distinction – but my family has no choice in the matter – and it really is true what they say, ‘If Momma ain’t happy – ain’t NOBODY happy’. So they let me be the Queen.
Unfortunately it is in name only – as I’ve been loathe to discover, especially as of late. The other day my car key just mysteriously disappeared off my key ring. It couldn’t have happened at a more inconvenient time either – as my daughter and I were about to go somewhere and were under some serious time pressure. My 19-year-old son, lost his keys somewhere at church – and ever since that happened he has been ‘borrowing’ our keys. Now the question that I have to ask is this: ‘why can’t he go make himself another set of keys?’ But that would be way too simple. And we’re talking about someone who is 19. So I ‘borrowed’ my husband’s car key for MY CAR and away we went – we couldn’t wait for Shawn to come home and give me my key. But I was REALLY UPSET and told him he would have to deal with his father – I was OUT! I told Greg to kill the boy and then pry my car key out of his cold dead fingers. Greg texted back that he had buried him in a shallow grave in the backyard and that my key was safely on the counter waiting for me when I got home 🙂
Remember last year when I wrote that my car charger was missing out of MY car? And when my son (18 years old at the time of the inquiry) came in the door – I confronted him with, ‘Where is my car charger?? You know – the one in MY CAR – that belongs to me??’ And he just looked at me calmly and said, ‘it’s in Connor’s car’ as if that settled the question once and for all – and that I was being most annoying asking. Of COURSE it would be in Connor’s car – what was I thinking!
Well – last year revisited me on the same day my car key mysteriously disappeared – and would you believe it – it’s back in Connor’s car??? You think you’re losing a grasp of reality? Try having a teenage son. I can glimpse reality – and at times I think I have it almost within reach – but the more I keep trying to grab a hold of it – the more it slips away. *sigh*
So last night I was getting ready for bed and reached for my Burt’s bees peppermint chapstick – (it’s my favorite and I’m hopelessly addicted to chapstick) and even IT WAS GONE! I think someone is trying to mess with me. Oh it’s not the big things – it’s all the little pesky things that don’t really matter at all – and easily replaced that will drive you nuts!
You can see that the ‘Queen’ has no real power around here – even when I fuss and fume about MY things. I speak – no one listens. Oh well – my boys still adore me and love to tease me – so I know I am still their number one – and that’s a good feeling.
The Queen has spoken.