Changing Me

I pray because I can’t help myself.  I pray because I’m helpless.  I pray because the need flows out of me all the time – waking and sleeping.  It doesn’t change God – it changes me.

Prayer.  Something happens to me when I pray.  I gain perspective that I am very small – and He is very big.  I have no control – and He sees the big picture – and all events from beginning to end, all at once.  And somehow – there is great comfort in this knowledge.  When I know that my problems, stresses and circumstances do not catch Him off guard – that nothing surprises Him about my life – then somehow I feel better and can relax – knowing He is in control.

I know for me – I need to hear this because I am weak and fall short.  I also tend to compare God’s love for me with other people in my life.  Others who have failed me – when I have failed them – or judged me when I have been in the wrong.  Even turned away instead of sticking it out.  God’s love is not like this.  He wants me to come to Him with my concerns and needs.  He will not be shocked – or turn away – even judge or talk about me, like others in my life have.  He knows everything about me before I even say anything.  He knows it – even before I think it.  He knows it – even before I do.

We are safe with Him.  God is constant and will not change.  He is always the same.  It is me that changes by knowing Him better.  It is me that changes by praying.  It is me that needs the changing – not Him.

Dear Lord – help me to come to you – not to hesitate because I am afraid you will turn me away and say, ‘Straighten up!  What’s wrong with you anyway!  Have I taught you NOTHING!’ – you would never do this – you are peace, love, joy and mercy.  Help me to realize this.  Help me to humble myself and invite you to walk along beside me – on my journey.  Help me – change my heart as I release the deepest parts to you.

God Bless

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