Last Sunday our youth pastor, Jeremy gave a great message from Psalms 79. In the message he talked about being really authentic with God. It makes sense and everyone would agree – and like me, you probably think – ‘I already do that by praying, reading scripture and pouring out my thoughts’. But do you subconsciously hold back a little part of you – even though you KNOW He already knows about it? Do you say, “this far God – and no more – it’s too humiliating and embarrassing and I don’t want to go there” It also may be that part that we don’t think God really knows about – so like a guilty, naughty child we hide it under the bed or in the closet, hoping He won’t look there – and won’t notice that we did not reveal everything to Him.
I am guilty of this. Not consciously. But I have things in my life and heart that I feel God isn’t really interested in – can’t be bothered with and besides they expose me into feeling like less than I am – and for reasons I can’t explain – I hide them, don’t address them – pretend they are not there – and hope He will do the same.
A couple of nights ago – I began watching a documentary on the OWN station called, “Finding Sarah” the in-depth journey of Sarah Ferguson – the Duchess of York as she is more commonly known. Along the way, Dr. Phil was brought in to help her and see if he could unravel the mess in her own mind – and discover what events led to her life today of regret and bad choices. What stuck out to me was this question he asked her. “What is your personal truth? Everyone has one – it is what you think about yourself. It is what others don’t know – but you believe” She looked at him and said, “I don’t know” he said, “well if you did know – what would it be?” She thought a moment and then said, “I feel responsible for my mother leaving when I was 12 years old” She also discovered another personal truth from his words. He said, “you are addicted to approval and will do anything to get it” That was a true light-bulb moment for her.
I thought about this. A personal truth would be something we cannot hide from ourselves – but most of the time if we’re very clever we can hide from others – but not God. And since God knows all of our hidden thoughts and ‘truths’ – then He would also know it, wouldn’t He? That is the very basic way that we are truly authentic with God – by allowing Him into that personal truth about ourselves.
My personal truth is something I’m still trying to formulate into words – but I am not leaving God out of the process – and I know I will be healthier because of this. I will not try to stuff it down and pretend that He does not know it. I will bring it to the surface and together we will work on it – bring clarity and light into something that I have become very clever at hiding – especially from Him. This is a step in being absolutely authentic with Him. And because He has proven Himself to me time and time again – rescued me from myself and many a disaster – I know He has broad enough shoulders to handle any weakness and darkness and all my contrary and rebellious ways. And especially my personal truth.
What is your personal truth? Is is something you have tried to hide from God? I want to encourage you – no matter how long your walk with Him – ask yourself if He has ever heard you confess that personal truth? Can you trust Him to walk you through it?
I am praying for you today
- Finding Sarah: From Royalty to the Real World, OWN, US TV Review (telegraph.co.uk)
- Television Review: You Can Feel Her Pain (Just Don’t Ask Questions) (tv.nytimes.com)
- Video: Watch First Five Minutes of the Duchess of York’s New Reality Series, Finding Sarah (shoppingblog.com)