Musings From A Musical Mind

Angry Birds Plush Toy

I’ve been following along with the documentary show on OWN called “Finding Sarah” – about Fergie – the Duchess of York.  She is on a quest to find out why she has turned out the way she has – and why she seems to be helpless to spin out of control and make wrong decisions in her life – resulting in years of destructive behavior including a failed marriage and loss of several careers to reinvent herself.  In this last episode after meeting with trusted friends and experts such as Dr. Phil – she traveled to Arizona to meet with a guru and nature healer.  He was native American – with long braids – a very serene and gracious person who asked her to talk about the things that troubled her.  As she poured out her story to him – he said things very similar to what Dr. Phil had already told her – with a unique spin.  “What you do not acknowledge – you cannot change”.  He used 2 pound rocks to represent all the different aspects of the dark side of her personality – Anger, Rage, Bitterness, Frustration, Jealousy, etc.  He asked her if she had ever felt RAGE?  She told him it wouldn’t have been acceptable to do that – or to even be ANGRY.   Having been in a very controlled environment – that would never have been allowed – even as a child.  And there were some things in her that were buried so deep – and to touch them was very scary.

Then he told her to pick them up – and pack them around on her back while they took a little journey.  He said, “you carry them around now anyway – you might as well take them to know how heavy they are”.  So she did as she was told – and they were heavy.  Once they drove to their destination and walked in the desert for a bit – they came a place where she was instructed to take off the rocks and then he demonstrated for her what he wanted her to do to release these from her life.

He stood facing a canyon that echoed back and yelled, “WHYYYYYYYYY?”  Using his whole body to really take his time – from standing upright to going down on his knees.  Then he did it again – took his time – again yelling, “WHYYYYYYYYYYYY”? And letting it echo back.  He told her – you are doing this for youYou need to release it.  There is no answer.

She was reluctant of course – to look foolish.  But she wanted to comply.  When she tried to do it – it was difficult – especially when the subject of abandonment from her mother came up – and touching that emotion was so painful she couldn’t allow herself to even cry or become angry.  So again – he demonstrated and feel to his knees and sobbed like a baby.  She watched him – fascinated that someone could be so in touch with their feelings – and could release them and not hold on to the darker things.  And though she could not do what he wanted – by watching him – it touched something inside of her – and he knew it would be a long journey of healing for her.

As I watched this “teacher” and “nature healer” speak to her – helping her discover who she is and why she is still so lost – I was reminded of how God works with us.  We all carry around those heavy rocks too – but since no once can see them – we learn to hide and stuff – adjust to the weight of them.  And I realized that I am not so much different from Sarah – I suppress things – stuff them – control my environment so everyone including me is comfortable.  I don’t think I’ve ever had a moment of RAGE in my life.  I’ve been angry – but mostly my anger goes right to sadness – and I am afraid to touch it too much.

I remember pouring out my heart to God in a situation I had about 2 1/2 years ago – and it was scary going to that rage and anger – and sobbing seemed a more comfortable place for me – so that’s where I went.  Even though I know that God can handle my questions, my rage, my anger and my ugliness – it was still difficult to admit it – even to Him.

The dark emotions that each of us have – can be destructive – if inflicted on another – but I also learned that they are important to deal with and release – with just myself and God.  He can handle them.  He made these emotions.  And He can help release something in me – so that I don’t harm and inflict someone I love.

When was the last time you were really angry about something – and allowed yourself to touch that emotion – so that you could deal with it?  When was the last time you let God see that in you?  Is that okay for you?  Do you see it as a sign of weakness – or lack of control?  When is it wrong to be angry?

God Bless

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Comments on: "Is It Okay To Be Really Angry?" (12)

  1. When I am really angry, I tend to lose control of myself and yell at others. It is not pretty. I have been praying that I have God’s character and be meek and humble. Being angry is not the problem, but letting the angry control my actions is. But I also believe that being angry at God is not a sin, but rather a genuine way of expressing feelings to Him. Job was angry at God. Israel fought with God. So when I feel angry at the things I don’t fully understand about this life, I have allowed myself to question God without the fear of being punished for my anger. Expressing this strong feeling to God is better than pretending everything is fine so that I can have a “good” relationship with God.

    • Agreed. Thanks for sharing Noel – I am not afraid either to express my true feelings to God – He can take it. We are made to feel all those emotions and not suppress them. It just never feels right to totally LET GO and YELL AND SCREAM – but I have done it on occasion – mostly I CRY really LOUDLY.

  2. “in you anger, do not sin”. This is where we divide emotion with action. I once got so angry with someone I loved, I basically let them have it. Yeah, that didn’t turn out to well. I have since apologized, but damage was done.

    I now release my anger taking a long drive while screaming (i wear a headset so that cars around me think I’m speaking on the phone. I don’t want to look crazy!).

    • I LOVE that you do that when you’re angry! I don’t think I’ve ever done anything LOUD like that – but I probably need to. I’ve taken long walks and cried the whole time – but it’s not the same. I should probably wear a headset too if I’m going to have a screaming jag 🙂

  3. I’ve been watching this program, too – though I missed this episode.

    I find, when I get angry I often cry. Not because I’m sad, but because that is one of the “emotions” that pops up with the anger. They are more tears of anger/rage/frustration than they are of sadness.

    • I think I tend to go to sadness – once even touched on depression years ago when we lived in Northern California – but as suddenly as it came – it lifted off. Our emotions can sometimes trip us up – and it feels silly to tap into them at times – but I know it’s healthy. I’m a crier too.

  4. I tend to live angry for months at a time. I’ve always felt it was all right, provided I hurt no one with my anger. The anger is fine. What you do with it sometimes isn’t. Not so sure I’d do what Sarah is doing and. . . to me, it’s still a TV show. I’m not a fan of airing dirty laundry for all the world to see, but I guess Andy Warhol was right. . . everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame. I DO hope it helps her, though.

    • I hope so too – she’s a very sad, lost lady. She’s been in the spot light for all of her adult life – so I don’t think it’s fame she’s looking for – but I’m sure I wouldn’t do a show about my life either – too embarrassing!

  5. I agree with Justin. You know the first time I read your title, “Is it okay to be really angry?”, I thought, “Of course dag nabbit!” LOL I, too, mostly get upset, but not generally angry. But I do get angry occasionally. I don’t see how you can hide it from God. He knows everything. So why bother? Just acknowledge it and ask God to help you. The same holds true for any other negative emotion or situation.

    • LOL!! So funny JoJo – from the controlled master communicator herself – I love it! Yes God knows – but I can even think I’m hiding from Him – doesn’t mean He doesn’t ask me to dig deeper and “come clean” – that’s my personal journey with Him.

  6. Anger is a natural emotion – God given. The point is to express that anger to a degree that does not hurt someone else. “In your anger, do not sin” is the verse. It doesn’t say “don’t be angry.” But, there is so much fueling our anger in most cases, right? Wounds, failed relationships, financial struggles, parenting struggles – that’s deep stuff that can cause some serious anger. Seeking God when we’re angry can lessen the sting from those wounds….but it’s so hard to take our anger to God. (Pride)

    • Agreed. I think that most people lump anger into one category: DESTRUCTIVE – or even NEGATIVE!! But even Jesus was angry and did not sin. You’re right about it being pride that keeps us from getting help from Him – and that by keeping it controlled or denying it – it will make us seem stronger and perfect somehow – it’s CRAZY!! Thanks, Justin.

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