This month marks the 30th anniversary of the last time I was single and living at home. I went right from my parent’s home at 20 years of age to another way of life – without ever have lived on my own.
And although it worked out for me – I also see great benefits to living on your own before being married.
Both of my children have had opportunities to live on their own after finishing high school. And although this can be hard, financially – I believe the lessons learned while living on your own are very valuable. Some things just can’t be taught while living at home.
With our daughter – she was so determined that she would make it – and it took two jobs for her to do so – she’s been very proud of herself that she was completely self sufficient by the time she was 20 years old. She learned a lot of about room-mates and finances that she’s never forgotten – and when it came time for her to get married – she was already very disciplined with money and her work ethic. She’s one of the hardest working young women I know.
Shawn, who will be 20 in October – has moved to California to pursue a music education and hopefully a career with his music training. He lives with room-mates in Burbank and has struggled to maintain his rent with only a part-time job. We are grateful he got a job, when so few are available. And we’re also thankful that his loan money will cover his tuition AND his housing this fall. But it’s still tough to make the rent and pay for things like food – until then.
Experiences like this are so valuable. And he will look back on these times as “the good old days” before real bills, a wife and children to support. All of this – priceless in the big scheme of things to come.
As I chatted on the phone with him last night – I reminded him that this too shall pass – and his present circumstance is what great songs and writings are made of 🙂 Maybe not while he’s struggling – but sometime after as he looks back…
Living “in the moment” – trying to be present – even during hard times of struggle. Being available in the mind. On purpose and on task. Learning to get by on very little – to be engaged and still positive about life. This is what living “in the moment” is all about.
Are you alway “in the moment”? Does your mind wander to “better times” either in the past – or somewhere in the future? Can you be content and very present? Now – today? Especially when things are not ideal? And you may be struggling? Can you find the priceless of the here and now? Knowing this moment will pass you by – and be no more?
Did you live on your own before you were married? What did you do without during those years? What’s your story?