So Greg and I were sitting at the kitchen table having a discussion over scrambled eggs, toast and coffee, when suddenly we found ourselves on a topic that has been hashed around in our home MANY times: Why can’t a man think more like a woman? And to be fair – Why can’t a woman think more like a man?
Greg, of course – sides with all the men out there and sees the need to defend his “maleness” – while I struggle to fight for the “right to be heard” and explain that women just don’t think like men.
It is a very familiar dance. The male vs. women thinking – a completely different approach to life, to people and relationships.
When men see something such as a picture or image on TV – it does something for them. When a woman sees that same provocative thing – they are usually disgusted and turned OFF. When a woman is just being friendly to a man it can be interpreted as something else – but the man can think that it means something else entirely. The woman see that as it is – just being friendly. And making a new friend. When a man is friendly to a woman – woman usually see this as friendly – unless it is creepy in some way – while a man may be thinking totally differently about his friendliness and her responses to it – leading – shall we say – somewhere else?
Greg was telling me that he heard on a radio program the other day – how men like seeing pictures of women – so these same men think that sending a nude photo of themselves will somehow be a turn-on to women he’s never met on the internet or through text messages. Clearly men DO NOT UNDERSTAND WOMEN.
I love all my friends and I have many – both men and women. But understanding the differences in how men and women relate with one another can takes a lifetime. Is it worth it? Yes. A well rounded person should have friends from both sexes and have an easy rapport with both.
And after being married to the same man for almost 30 years, I can clearly see the differences – at least in our home: Men see and feel through their eyes. Women see and feel through their heart.
Because men assume that women feel as they do – often times conversation can be misunderstood. And because women assume men think like a woman – when they just want a “good talk” (like they would with any of their girlfriends) – it can be misunderstood. Woman love having deep conversations and often times their guy friends are like their girl friends – comfortable and dependable. With nothing meant – and no interest whatsoever.
Greg has had to learn the art of listening – because I like to express myself through talking things out. And I have had to learn that he doesn’t just want to talk all the time 🙂 And by communication, we’ve learned that I am a natural “nurturer” – loving to help, encourage and lend support to those out there within my reach.
And I have learned that Greg needs to be admired and be the “hero” in my life – making even the most difficult of days – better. He longs to fix and offer wisdom and advice to my everyday problems and situations. He loves to be connected and be consulted in even the smallest of decisions.
We’ve learned to support each other and to play to each other’s strengths – and yes, even help each other understand why men and women react and respond the way they do – when it seems foreign to us.
It’s – interesting. It’s called life.
What do you find the most interesting about woman – if you’re a man? And about men – if you’re a woman? Do you try to walk around in their skin once in a while to see if you can understand them better? Try it – it’s very – interesting.