Musings From A Musical Mind


Man and woman in bathing suits in a rowboat ne...

So Greg and I were sitting at the kitchen table having a discussion over scrambled eggs, toast and coffee, when suddenly we found ourselves on a topic that has been hashed around in our home MANY times:  Why can’t a man think more like a woman?  And to be fair – Why can’t a woman think more like a man?

Greg, of course – sides with all the men out there and sees the need to defend his “maleness” – while I struggle to fight for the “right to be heard” and explain that women just don’t think like men.

It is a very familiar dance.  The male vs. women thinking – a completely different approach to life,  to people and relationships.

When men see something such as a picture or image on TV – it does something for them.  When a woman sees that same provocative thing – they are usually disgusted and turned OFF.  When a woman is just being friendly to a man it can be interpreted as something else – but the man can think that it means something else entirely.  The woman see that as it is – just being friendly.  And making a new friend.  When a man is friendly to a woman – woman usually see this as friendly – unless it is creepy in some way – while a man may be thinking totally differently about his friendliness and her responses to it – leading – shall we say – somewhere else?

Greg was telling me that he heard on a radio program the other day – how men like seeing pictures of women – so these same men think that sending a nude photo of themselves will somehow be a turn-on to women he’s never met on the internet or through text messages.  Clearly men DO NOT UNDERSTAND WOMEN.

I love all my friends and I have many – both men and women.  But understanding the differences in how men and women relate with one another can takes a lifetime.  Is it worth it?  Yes.  A well rounded person should have friends from both sexes and have an easy rapport with both.

And after being married to the same man for almost 30 years, I can clearly see the differences – at least in our home:   Men see and feel through their eyes.  Women see and feel through their heart.  

Because men assume that women feel as they do – often times conversation can be misunderstood.  And because women assume men think like a woman – when they just want a “good talk”  (like they would with any of their girlfriends) – it can be misunderstood.  Woman love having deep conversations and often times their guy friends are like their girl friends – comfortable and dependable.  With nothing meant – and no interest whatsoever.

Greg has had to learn the art of listening – because I like to express myself through talking things out.  And I have had to learn that he doesn’t just want to talk all the time 🙂  And by communication, we’ve learned that I am a natural “nurturer” – loving to help, encourage and lend support to those out there within my reach.

And I have learned that Greg needs to be admired and be the “hero” in my life – making even the most difficult of days – better.  He longs to fix and offer wisdom and advice to my everyday problems and situations.  He loves to be connected and be consulted in even the smallest of decisions.

We’ve learned to support each other and to play to each other’s strengths – and yes,  even help each other understand why men and women react and respond the way they do – when it seems foreign to us.

It’s – interesting.  It’s called life.

What do you find the most interesting about woman – if you’re a man?  And about men – if you’re a woman?  Do you try to walk around in their skin once in a while to see if you can understand them better?  Try it – it’s very – interesting.

God Bless

Comments on: "Interesting…" (13)

  1. The book “Bonk” is really fascinating, but one of the things that amazed me the most was the visual response difference between men and women. Men are only aroused by that which arouses them. IOW, a straight man is only aroused by pics of women. A gay man is only aroused by pics of men. Very straight-forward.

    But women were totally different. They were aroused by EVERYTHING sexual. Gay, straight, primate – it doesn’t matter. They had a physiological response to absolutely anything that was sexual.

    HOWEVER! Men knew when they were aroused and when they weren’t. They responded correctly to the “are you aroused by this?” questions. The women, however, were wrong a lot. There was a total disconnect between physical arousal and mental arousal.

    Which says to me that the old line about women not being visual creatures is bunk. We’re actually HYPER visual creatures. We have just been taught so much bull about what women want/don’t want sexually that we’re unable to identify our own arousal. Which is sad, sad, sad.

    That said, EVERYBODY is different and we need to respect that. And when it comes to our spouse, we need to seriously work to learn what those differences are and figure out how to best work together to play off of one another’s strengths.

    • Hi Alise! Thanks for coming over to my site – great to have your comment! I guess I need to get myself a copy of that book “Bonk” – sounds like it has some great and controversial information – some of which I’ve heard, only in passing before. Hyper visual – in some ways that does make sense – only we have learned to call it something else – and not act on it in the same way as men. Interesting. It is sad when we don’t understand each other and get our signals crossed for sure. It takes a lifetime understanding your mate – but it sure makes life interesting – never a DULL moment around our house. We laugh A LOT!!! It keeps us SANE!!

  2. I loved the fact that we are wired differently. Can you imagine if we thought the same way and see things the same way? That would be so boring. Life is meant to be challenging, stimulating, fun and even dangerous. That’s what makes relationships fun.

    What do I find interesting about a woman? This is a pg13 site, so I can’t say. 🙂

    • Yes – fun is good! And yes, Moe – this is a PG site 🙂 I’m glad you find women interesting – proves your normal – not that I didn’t ever think you were. Crazy yes – but VERY normal 🙂

  3. When men and women finally understand that we are build differently by God for a reason, we can stop asking each other to be like we are. Accepting this simple fact will help us relate better to one another. Men and women weren’t designed to be alike. We were designed to be different. God didn’t make a mistake when He did this, He meant for us each to have strengths that would complement the other. Men see the big picture in order to protect. Women see the details in order to nurture.

    • So true. And most of the time I’m glad for the differences – REALLY GLAD. But sometimes when I want him to understand where I’m coming from – or vice versa – it would be so handy to make us all mind readers!!!

  4. This is one of the most interesting and controversial topics. I remember reading the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. We are simply different in so many ways. Men are usually like the microwave, and women like the electric stove. Men, like microwave, heat up fast and there is no waiting. Women, like electric stoves, on the other hand, take their time, like wanting to get to know the person better, before they “heat up”. Men are more solution focused, wanting to solve the problem right away. Women prefer to process feelings and share experiences, thus develop deeper relationships. The comparison goes on and on…. Great post!

    • Thanks Noel – yes you’re right and I read that book too – it is INTERESTING and great information. At least you don’t feel like you’re so crazy or that your spouse is so crazy when ready it! It takes a lifetime to understand the opposite sex!

  5. Okay…easy on the grocery shopping. I do the shopping & cooking at home. If I ask Holly to pick up a few things (I text her a list), sometimes I get what I want, but there are always several “extras” that were not on the list.
    The best blessing we have in life is that men and women are different. I see marriage as the commitment to the lifelong pursuit of finding common ground to understand the other. In some ways we have a “backwards” marriage and that makes for some interesting situations and conversations.

    • Thanks for your comment, Eric – and for visiting my blog page! Yes – there are exceptions to the rules of how men and women are – and in some ways we have a “backwards” marriage too – and I’ve surprised even my own father-in-law many times because I do not think like the average woman at all – very confusing to him I’m sure 🙂

  6. It’s a lifetime topic, Cindy! JoJo knows a whole lot about this and has taught me a lot. I’d say that the most “interesting” thing, to me, is how literal men are. When my daughter or my female friends talk, they don’t have to spit out every word. I get what they’re saying. However, for my husband and two sons, I really have to spell it out or it gets misinterpreted. For instance, sending my husband shopping. He knows we’re having spaghetti that night. We need sauce. If I write “Hunt’s Spaghetti Sauce” and the store doesn’t have Hunt’s, there will be sauceless spaghetti that night. I would have to write “Hunt’s Spaghetti Sauce or other well-known brand priced at less than $__________” or call me if nothing fits the bill.” When I spell it out exactly, he always comes home with the correct products, but I can’t leave him any interpretation.

    • Oh my goodness Carla! That has actually happened to us! I can’t just send Greg to the store to “pick up items for dinner” – that FREAKS HIM OUT! And although I haven’t done this for many years – he still remembers it – standing in the middle of the aisle and SWEATING trying to think of what I could mean! So I need to spell it out exactly – or he comes homes without ANYTHING. Why can’t a man think like a woman when it comes to grocery shopping, indeed…..LOL!!

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