Greg and I went to see “The Vow” the other day. The previews were very compelling and the idea of the story was refreshing to me – but when I learned it was inspired by actual events, we had to see it.
This movie is about the true life story of Kim and Krickitt Carpenter. You can see their story here: True Story of “The Vow” Two months after their 1993 wedding – an accident robbed Krickitt of her short-term memory. She could not remember being married – or even knowing Kim. Pictures did not trigger her memory – and finally a counselor suggested that Kim “date” her again. It was very discouraging – at first he tried pushing her into remembering – but it did no good. He did not give up and eventually she fell in love with him all over again. It is truly an inspirational story of a second chance and choosing to love again.
I have always felt like the natural process of events – if we had the chance to go back and relive them – it would ultimately lead us down the same path that we are now on. I cannot prove it – because often times we think about going back in time with the knowledge that we now possess – and that isn’t fair, or realistic. It would lessen our regret – if we could really wrap our brain around this concept.
Think about it. If you had no knowledge of events in your future and you were presented with the same events in your past – met the same people and walked the same journey – wouldn’t you have chosen the same things? Wouldn’t you have had the same experiences? Dated the same people? Walked away from the ones you should have? And even married the one you did? We cannot change the past.
This is how it was for Krickitt. She did not remember being married. She didn’t remember him at all. But there was something she liked about him which was why she had chosen him the first time. It was just a matter of time. And when he stopped pressuring her – and just gently started to “date” her – everything changed and she had the chance to fall in love with him, naturally – through the course of time.
Often times we “push” our own agenda because we think we know better. Every individual has to choose for themselves and experience the one moment that will ultimately decide for them – what is right. I have witnessed parents try to pressure their kids in and out of relationships with all their “knowledge” and “wisdom” – only to rob them of finding out through the course of time – what the right thing is for them. Sometimes when we are pushed we act in ways we would not normally. That undesirable boyfriend or girlfriend looks WAY more appealing when everyone is against them. It creates a “Romeo and Juliette” syndrome which is based in fantasy and emotions rather than clear-headed thinking. When people are left alone with all the options and are free to observe for themselves – often times the result is an “Aha” moment. Little quirks and habits they would never see while they are so busy defending would suddenly be noticeable. Things that they would not be able to live with would be plain.
This story is incredible because this man had to do just that. Stop pushing. Let things run a natural course. Let her discover for a second time – why she chose him in the first place. And the funny thing – in the movie, she had been engaged to another man. When she lost her short-term memory – she could only remember the other man. She soon found out why she had left him before marrying him. Left on her own to decide for herself – it was only a matter of time when she discovered those things she couldn’t live with and why she had done what she had done the first time.
So – the question is this: If you lost your memory – would you choose your spouse again? Why or why not? And if they lost their memory – would you be the chosen one? Do you push – or let things run a natural course of time – and just trust God?
- The Vow: A True Story of Enduring Love and Commitment (tommyham.me)
- The Vow (sisterrose.wordpress.com)
- Interview With Kim and Krickitt Carpenter, Authors of The Vow (blogcritics.org)
- The Vow (2012) Official Trailer + Plot Preview (tagalogonlinepocketbook.wordpress.com)
- ‘The Vow’ premiere: Making Channing Tatum, Rachel McAdams cry (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
- Review: Rachel McAdams turns the Paige in The Vow (arts.nationalpost.com)
- The Vow: Amnesia romance is easy to forget (theglobeandmail.com)
- Rachel McAdams remembers Vow (canada.com)