Musings From A Musical Mind

Archive for the ‘Be Still’ Category

I Really Did Hear Something

A few years ago Greg and I were eating dinner at a Shari’s restaurant close to where we live.  We were having pleasant conversation – exchanging ‘niceties’ about the day when suddenly Greg looked at me and said, “Shhhh!! – did you hear that?”  I looked around and listened as hard as I could – but could not hear anything.  So I replied, “No dear – I did not hear anything.”  He said, “No really – it was like a weird ‘metallic’ sound!”  Well since I did not know what a ‘metallic’ sound – sounds like – I was at a loss.  He shrugged it off and we went back to our conversation.  A few minutes later he stopped me again – this time with a hand gesture  raised to stop me from talking, while turning his head he said, “Shhhh!  There it is again!”  Well by this time I really thought he was losing it – so I said, “Does it sound like something is trying to communicate with you – on a different frequency? – Is it the MOTHER SHIP?”

Needless to say he did not think it was funny – and I tried SO hard not to giggle but come on – it WAS pretty funny.  He kept insisting that something was happening – and it would only happen when either of us started talking again – pretty bizarre.  This went on for about 15 minutes or so – until my poor husband thought he was losing his mind.  I could tell that he wasn’t really ‘with me’ in the restaurant anymore – he had that ‘far off’ look in his eyes – the same look he has when he’s listening more to the people talking directly behind him in a booth – than to me.  It’s annoying how easily distracted he is!  This rarely happens to me – I am usually so focused on the person I’m with and the conversation that a hurricane could be going on around me and I probably wouldn’t even notice.

Case and point: I was with my friend Melody about a month ago at a local Starbucks for a ‘coffee date’.  We were heavily engaged in deep meaningful conversation.  Little did I know that behind the scenes the people who work there (they know me because my daughter works there – and they all call me Mom) were playing a little game – trying to get my attention.  The manager and assistant manager were trying to see who would be able to get me to look away from Melody first – and because I was facing toward them when talking to Melody – they thought, “piece of cake”.  They do not know me.  They do not know that I am not easily dissuaded or thrown off track – even though they were waving their arms WILDLY in the air!!!  I think they did EVERYTHING short of actually SHOUTING out my name!  Ashlee told me about this later that day – I was so surprised!  I saw nothing.

So back to the Shari’s and Greg hearing something unusual.  He paid the check and we stood up and were turning to pass another table behind where Greg was sitting and saw a nice older gentleman with a mechanical voice box.  If you’ve ever heard them – they make an unusual sound – something like R2-D2 from “Star Wars” makes.  And Greg smiled as we walked by – he was not crazy after all!  “I told you I heard something” – he whispered.

So yesterday we were having a very late dinner at a local Teriyaki  place.  We were eating our favorite chicken, salad and rice – the Christian radio station was playing music in the speakers just above my head.  We were talking about normal ordinary things – when all of a sudden I heard something.  I said to Greg, “Shhh!  Did you hear that?”  He looked around and then back at me and said, “No”.  Hmmmm.  It stopped.  I waited.  Nothing.  So we continued to talk again.  A few minutes later I heard it again.  It was directly to my left – an empty table – in fact we were the only ones in the little place.  But it was coming from the table – I was so sure. When I told Greg where it was coming from – he said, “Are the salt and pepper shakers trying to communicate to you?”  Nice – I guess I deserved it.  I mean normally I would hear nothing – even if the world was falling apart – but this was really strange.

It was determined that it must have been an alarm in the kitchen that was making a sound through the kitchen door and down to where our table was – giving the impression that the sound was coming from right next to me.  It was bizarre – and now I know how Greg felt in that Shari’s.  You really do feel like you’re losing it.  I’m glad to know that I am still in my right mind – at least most of the time – but if you ask me about it – I will still say, “I DID hear something – I really did!”

Here’s hoping you have a wonderful evening and that if you hear unexplainable sounds – just let them happen.  It’s okay.  I believe you.

God Bless

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On Auto Pilot

Ever have a time in your life where you are just functioning – as if on ‘auto pilot’?  Lately that is what I’m experiencing.  Events have built up over time – heading towards a specific goal – and the busy schedule and blood sweat, loss of sleep and tears – are finally a PAY OFF!!  As you see before you the results.

I am trying to ‘enjoy’ the journey.  Not anxious to have anything go too fast – things that have taken a while to accomplish – not wanting them over too quickly.

I am trying to ‘slow down time’.  To stop and linger.  To enjoy every moment.  To hold on to every ‘snapshot’ in time – every timeless moment – knowing that very soon – it will be gone.

This weekend I am in ‘auto pilot’ mode – with a busy production schedule and a sore directing arm – but my spirits are high – I am attempting to ‘hang on’ to ‘relish’ and ‘enjoy’ every moment – knowing that another ‘moment in time’ will never be quite like this one – again.  I am not going to think about next weekend and the busyness that waits for me after these performances are over tomorrow night.  No.  I am going to rest – and enjoy.  My mind is going to be still – I am going to hang on to this – enjoying my students – embracing old friends that I haven’t seen for years – and special moments I will always remember.

My prayer for you today is the same – that you would ‘rest’ and ‘remember’ – enjoy every moment in time – it won’t come again.

God Bless ♥

My Tree

Jeremiah 17:7-8

“But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

I LOVE trees.  I can stare at them forever.  They mesmerize me.  Each one is so different – unique and beautiful in its own way.  I love what Jeremiah had to say about those of us who “trust in the Lord” – comparing us to trees – special trees planted by the water.  Knowing that those trees are near a water source – they never have to fear the heat from the sun or even lack of rain causing a serious drought  – these trees always bear fruit – no matter what.

As we press into God and plant ourselves near to Him – we can relax.  We don’t have to keep looking around for a “water source”.  We are contented and never thirsty for other things that the world has to offer us.  He is our never ending “supply”.  He fills us up.  Even when we go through times of “heat” and “drought” – as we often do in this life.  And unfortunately –  no one escapes it.  Everyone of us will experience health issues and family situations – and even loss.  We will go through painful experiences and lonely times.  We will wonder what has happened to us at times.  But if we have spread our roots out in search of His never ending supply of strength and mercy  – we will find something else waiting for us – a deep joy and peace that come from belonging to – and living under His protection over our lives.  Even in the storms of life.  Even in the “dark night of the soul” times.  Even in grief.  Even in heartache.  Even in silence.  Even in waiting.  Yes – even then.

I would love to say that I live in that place with no worries – but sadly – I am still on a journey – and on that journey I have experienced things that have brought me to my knees, wondering at times – where God was.  Or worse – it was during those times – that I found Him to be silent and distant.  But I knew He was still there.  I had His word to remind me – and others in my life that encouraged me on a daily basis.  God used people in my life to bless me – when I thought all hope was gone at times.  When it felt like my own personal loss would swallow me – He sent strong friends to me – and it was through them that I heard His voice to me once more whispering my name  – and it was through them – that I learned He had not abandoned me.   And It was during this dark time that I leaned more and more on that knowledge that  God was still there for me – my source of strength and supply of living water – during the biggest drought and most intense heat of my life.

Are you in the middle of your own personal intense  heat and drought today?  Are you experiencing things you never have before and wonder if you can make it through?

I am praying for each of you today – that you will  find Him there for you when going through your own journey of questions and trials.  That you will spread out the roots of your own “tree” and find a rich supply of living water waiting for you there – never ending – refreshing – pure and satisfying.  As you stay close to the source.  As you stay close to Him.

God Bless

Mostly…

Today was one of those rare beautiful days in Seattle – and a moment in time when all is “right with the world”.  At least mostly.

Pastor Greg spoke on “change” in the service this morning at the church we now attend in Enumclaw.  It was really beautiful – and echoed what I myself have been feeling in my spirit now for over a year.

Change is hard because I like to stay where I am – it is more comfortable and I like it that way.  Change means a “pulling away” from the familiar.  Change means being willing to “grow” and be “adaptable” to the new things around me.  Change means saying “goodbye” to what I don’t want to.  And means doing things I would normally never do.  It can also mean allowing someone into my world that has hurt me –  or forgiving those I thought I already had – and setting them free from any debt they owe me.

As I pondered these thoughts from this morning – something really hit home to me and was like an “Ah ha” moment.  I don’t think it was necessarily anything in particular that our pastor said – but something was stirring in my spirit.  I have been on a journey of “change” – and a “new season” in my life for over a year now – and things are making more sense to me than ever before.  Things are becoming clear to me in a way they never have before.  I felt a couple of tears spill down my cheeks as I sat there in the stillness of that moment.  I realized something:  I am enjoying life.  Really enjoying it – to the fullest.  Moving past a difficult time – finding love in a new way – waving goodbye to the past.  All of this is good.  Mostly.

But there will always be things I can’t understand.  How things can seem to be “healed” and “right”  one moment and the next – be completely silent, awkward and “wrong” again.  I will never understand why people run and hide – instead of facing things in the right way.  I will never understand how God can forgive me – and I can believe that I have forgiven my brother and yet others cannot seem to forgive me.  And I will never understand how people cannot seem to forgive themselves.

And so when I say that life is good – it does not mean I still do not have questions.  I wish and pray with all my heart that someday I will have an answer to these and many more.

As I drove to Seattle today with Greg after church and saw Mt. Rainier in all its beauty and splendor – I was awed and moved once again.  One of God’s great gifts to me in tangible form – a beautiful day that will bring tears to my eyes every time.  And reminds me…God is good – all the time.  Like a kiss from heaven – He is making life beautiful for me – working behind the scenes of my life.  And if He takes that much trouble to create a magnificent backdrop for me to just enjoy  – like Mt. Rainier – how much more does  He also care about my unanswered questions and struggles?  Much, much more!    He understands the things that drive me crazy!  He gets me – even when I don’t sometimes “get” myself and He understands why I do the things that I do.  Even when I don’t.  He is not afraid of my questions.  He understands my emotions and tears.  He knows why I still have a “heaviness” in my spirit that I am trying to leave behind me.  He knows about the unspoken events and hidden brokenness.  And He  is still there – working through all the “changes” in life that surround me.

Even when I have a rare day of beauty – and all is “right in my world”  Even when things in life are good.  At least mostly.

What Does The Lord Require?

Micah 6:8

“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

What is good?  Do we sometimes forget what that is?  I know I do.  I know I love mercy – that is – I love it when others are merciful to me – and I try to show mercy to others.  But I’m sure I fail miserably at it.  The old, “do unto others” routine gets a bit old – especially if we do not feel any of that grace and mercy from others.  But I do try.  I am trying.

But when we’re talking about what is good – I think we have an idea in our mind – and sometimes this is not what God is meaning by this.  Good to me – means a life of blessing.  A life safe within proper boundaries. And there is a fine line between what feels good and what is good.  Sin feels good – that’s why people stray away from their life of safety.  If it didn’t – people wouldn’t do it.  But there is a “fall out” from sin – and the bible does warn us about this “fall out” many times – in other words – it’s just NOT worth it!

I don’t know about you – but to live with “blessing” from God is what I want for my life and for my family.  It requires discipline of the mind – thinking about walking humbly – to act justly and love mercy.

What does the Lord require?  That I be perfect?  That I automatically love good instead of bad?  No – I don’t think so.  I believe that He gently works in and through us – in a very loving way – to inspire us – to teach us to love good things in our life – to love and embrace people – be merciful to others – and to be humble.

Dear Lord – breathe in me your will for my life.  Daily renew my mind and spirit with your eyesight.  Probe the deepest parts of me.  Show me what is good.  Help me to wave goodbye to things that aren’t.  To love mercy and be merciful to others – in the same way that you showed mercy to me.  Help me to walk humbly among people and to represent YOU to everyone I meet.

God Bless

Wait.

Psalm 130

A song of ascents.

1 Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD;

2 Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

3 If you, LORD, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?

4 But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

5 I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

6 I wait for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

7 Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.

8 He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

We don’t like to wait for anything.  We live in a fast food society – with fast cash and an express line at the grocery store.  The concept of having to “wait” for anything is simply not in our vocabulary.

And yet….

Scripture is FULL of examples of those that HAD to wait.  They waited for God to move – waited for victory from enemies – waited on a prophet’s words or deliverance from persecution.  And in the FULLNESS of time – Jesus was born – after waiting for hundreds of years.  Then those that knew Him were waiting for Jesus to come again – and we are still waiting.

So…

If this is true – why should my life be any different?  And yet, somehow – I think it should be.  How long do I have to wait, Lord?  Why can’t I have the answer now?  Why don’t you do things in the way I think they should be done?

And He is silent.

It’s not “Yes” – or “No”

It’s…

Wait.

And I am still waiting.

And I will continue to wait.

Dear Lord, help me as I wait – not to become impatient and try to “fix” things and “mess them up” entirely.  Help me to have your wisdom – to have love and patience for things I don’t always “get”.  And for people I don’t understand.  Help me to …. Wait.

God Bless

Be Still

My prayer for you today is this:  That you would watch and listen – reflect and feel AWE and PEACE in your heart today – be thankful – and just Be Still.

 

God Bless

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