Musings From A Musical Mind

Archive for the ‘Dreams’ Category

Dream On

One of the tunes I grew up on – Enjoy!

Everytime that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face gettin clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dust to dawn
Isnt that the way
Everybodys got their dues in life to pay

I know what nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know its everybodys sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life is in books written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages
You know its true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if its just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away
(x2)

Dream on, dream on
Dream yourself a dream come true
Dream on, dream on
Dream until your dream come true
Dream on, dream on, dream on…

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter and sing for the tears
Sing with me, if its just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away

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There’s An Elephant In The Room

Who is This? I remember the cartoon, but not h...

Image by Medusa's Lover via Flickr

There’s an elephant in the room.   No one talks about it.  No one dares.

We avoid

We run and hide

We joke

We tell stories

We change the subject

and still….

There’s an elephant in the room

This poor ignored elephant – one that used to be rather small – but because everybody refuses to acknowledge her presence –  she has become  rather LARGE!  You see – she has an inferiority complex. A Big one.  And she drowns her sorrow and disappointment in eating anything she can get her hands on.  And because people would rather walk around her – even tiptoe lightly – she has to try to stay invisible in the center of the room – and not trip anybody up.  Oh she has tried to get everyone’s attention at times.   She even tries different colors to wear so she’ll stick out more and be noticed.  I’ve even seen her painting her toe nails red – and then waving her hands and feet wildly in the air – but to no avail.  She even waved and winked at me one time too – I’m sure of it.  I just shook my head and smiled.  I mean – really – what else could I do?  She’s an elephant.

Poor, poor elephant.

I’m waiting for the day – when someone can’t take it anymore and jumps up and says, “Hey!!!  There’s a LARGE elephant in here!  Do you see her?”  But until that day….

We avoid

We run and hide

We tell jokes

We tell stories

and….

We change the subject.

No one likes an elephant – especially a LARGE one with brightly colored clothes and painted red toenails, Right?  This elephant could change everything forever.  And no one will speak up.  No one will take the risk. Better to ignore and pretend….

There’s an elephant in the room

Living On The Edge

I recently ran across this article from my new blogging buddy  Elizabeth Esther.  She explains how her daughter wanted to jump into their pool with her dance recital outfit on – to know what it would feel like to ‘fly’ with it on.  It’s a sweet story complete with a picture of her ‘in flight’ after Elizabeth finally relented to letting her daughter ruin her outfit for that ‘thrill’ of flying through the air.

Absurd?  Impracticable?   Foolishly frivolous?   Yes.  All of these – and more.

A chance to ‘let go’ – to ‘run with reckless abandon’ and do something spontaneous – just because.

We lose this ability as we mature.  We become responsible and (gasp!) practical.  We think in terms of conserving and ‘pulling in’ – often times squelching any creativity or spontaneity.   Because we are grown up and have to act responsibly – I mean if we don’t – WHO WILL?  Right?

Do you remember a time when you ran through the sprinklers in your yard (or someone else’s) and got soaking wet?  Even your hair?  And it felt SO GOOD, didn’t it?  Just kicked off your shoes and ran through!

How about the time you risked your life swinging on a rope swing?  The kind that was on its last few precious strands of rope weeks before and everyone that was swinging on it – you just knew they were on borrowed time?

When was the last time you had a popsicle?  The kind you used to get when you heard the ice cream man coming?  My favorites were banana and root beer.  How about a slurpee?  When was the last time?  They’re not just for kids you know 🙂

We grow up and get ‘careful’.  And not just ‘careful’ – but ‘cautious’.  Life becomes so serious to us – and granted – there is much to be serious about.  There are bills to be paid – and family situations – but there is also a mind-set that creeps in – if we’re not careful.  The mind-set that fun is for the young – and life becomes very mundane and predictable.

Well – that may be okay for you – but NOT FOR ME!  I love excitement – I even have to have something exciting for breakfast!  No dull and dry cereal for me – NO SIR!  I need something – ANYTHING with a little pizzaz! A yummy bagel with flavored cream cheese – or a wonderful mouth-watering scone – or a Danish with a little something extra – you know. Greg likes the same thing for breakfast everyday. (Boring) He really likes it like that!  Amazing!

I like to ‘live on the edge’ – LOVE adventure, romance and just plain living! Greg likes consistency and routine.  That’s where he is comfortable and safe.

Greg knows that I just can’t ‘exist’ – but that I love to express myself – share love and friendship with those in my world and – love to explore new places and get to know new people – and love to encourage others to LIVE and LOVE life!!   And in this ‘new season’ that we find ourselves in – it is nice that we are both now self-employed and can do some of the things we’ve always wanted to do – it doesn’t always take money to do them – (we don’t have any – so that’s good!) and I’m thrilled for that!

We do something fun everyday. Each day is an adventure.  We had been married far too long – raised a couple of children before we realized that the ‘fun’ and ‘spontaneity’ had been robbed from us.  I blame so many things on that – the families we were both raised in (duty, work and responsibility) and the church we found ourselves in for years (appearances and being an example) – and yet I know that these only served as a guide – and did not mean to suck the joy out of our marriage – but somehow – they did.  Add to that the stresses of life, family situations and burdens from those in crisis close to us – and even some dysfunctional behavior from others and mix it all together and you can get a very dry and tired marriage. With no joy.  Safe, predictable, practical and boring. A slow death sentence for me.

Bringing ‘fun’ back into our marriage was a choice – but also a necessity. Without it – we would not have made it.  We took a step toward excitement – and I’m happy to report that keeping things ‘fresh’ and ‘new’ has become our theme song after 29 years of marriage.  We were both Christians since we were children – so our faith was never in question – just our ‘duty’ and commitment’ became old and stale and we needed a better reason than that to keep doing the same old things over and over and over again.  Like a worn out song that never ends – is how our marriage was becoming.  We were becoming that couple with an ‘arrangement’ but that really wasn’t very happy anymore.  And it scared us.  We refused to be that couple and live that way – with separate lives and interests – pulling further and further apart.

How did we turn it around?  We brought FUN back into our relationship.  We looked closely at us.  Not the ‘us’ as parents of our two wonderful children – not the ‘us’ as a ministry couple (as most people had known us) – not the ‘us’ as wonderful obedient children of our own parents – but we just stepped back and looked at us. And we had to go back and remember just what it was that sparked that interest and kept us – way back then.  The ‘little’ things that meant so much back then.  We started doing that again.  We started thinking of ways to be creative without much money – going and doing something interesting everyday together – being spontaneous and FUN!  Not holding back or squelching each others creativity – but allowing each other to be exactly who we are. And that included allowing each other to grow individually without feeling threatened by it.  I have a lot of friends and love each of them in their own special way.  Greg now understands how important that is to me and does not limit me – nor is he threatened by it.  I understand Greg’s need to feel ‘safe’ by routine and his work – and encourage him to do the things that make him most happy and fulfill him as a man.  It is a win/win – born out of necessity – and has grown into something secure and trusted – a mutual respect and understanding for each other – two completely different people who decided to grow old together and two people who chose each other.

Here’s wishing you and yours some fun and spontaneity – as you endeavor to ‘live on the edge’ in your marriage and in your own personal life.

God Bless

Things That Press Down

Ever have a dream that you can’t wake up from? I mean a creepy, scary NOT FUN dream? – Not the kind where you’re actually liking it – and wanting to ‘push the boundaries’ a little further – to see if you can see how far the dream will go – or maybe a nice dream about someone you haven’t seen in a long time – a great conversation or situation where your subconscious has ‘made up’ for an unresolved issue you may still have in the ‘real world’. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about really dark, depressing and oppressive dreams. The kind that press down on you.

I have had this kind a couple of times in my lifetime. Something frightens me and seems to be holding me down – pressing on my chest – not letting me catch my breath – or say anything. I want to scream out – but I can’t even find my voice to do so – I can’t make my voice work at all! Frustrating – and very scary. Last night this happened again. First there was a feeling of weight or a pressing down on my chest – then the feeling of being held down by an invisible force – and the inability to form any words to cry out – trying to shake myself awake – and couldn’t.

The name that comes to mind when I feel that way in those weird, dark and scary dreams – is the name of Jesus. I try to say it over and over – and when I can’t make my voice say it – I just keeping repeating it in my mind – and finally I am released from whatever is holding me down.

Dreams can be an imitation of life – the subconscious talking while our body is resting. And sometimes when we have situations and life pressing down on us – this can be just the way that it feels. Like a waking dream. Like something invisible has a strangle hold on our hearts and minds. Something we cannot free ourselves from – and we try to ‘cry out’ – but there is no one there to listen to hear us – no one who can hear the ‘struggle’ that we are in. That is when we need to remember the name of Jesus. And by speaking that name – we know He hears us and will release us from the tangled situations and circumstances of life.

It is important to remember the famous words of Jesus when he said, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light”  He encouraged us to ‘cast’ our ‘cares’  and put our trust in Him – He can handle it.  And sometimes when we feel life closing in on us – we need to remember that promise just for us – in our time of need – when we feel things pressing down on us. The dark, scary and sometimes depressing things of life can be lighter – when we call out the name of Jesus.  And when we have those bad dreams – we don’t need to be afraid – we know that His name is just a whisper away.

God Bless

Inception And Beyond

STOP – Don’t read any further if you haven’t seen “Inception” and still plan to!!!

Last night my husband and I finally saw “Inception”.  I had heard how good it was – a real ‘mind blower” and I wasn’t disappointed.  Never has a movie gone by so fast for me – I was caught up in the story from the beginning and only once had a hard time following the plot as it was fast paced and thought-provoking.

The end has a ‘twist’ of sorts – and does really make you think – but to be honest I was thinking that the story from the beginning was also a ‘dream’.  Now just whose dream – that is indeed the question.  Hmmmm.  I say it is the ‘dead’ wife’s dream all along – what say you?  But dreams being what they are – they rarely make much sense after we’re awake, right?  So we can’t really over think some of the plot line – I mean – it all might be a dream, right?  There’s the problem of the 2 children never getting any older in ANY of the dreams – and the ‘dead’ wife also does not age.  Pesky little details – but a dream may in this case – be just a dream.

As we were driving home from the movie we were discussing dreams – and just how we feel when we’re in them.  When you’re dreaming, usually everything is different – different home, different friends, different church or school.  But it doesn’t feel different while you are in it.  It’s only after waking up that you feel like everything was strange – especially as you try to tell someone else about it – and you often can’t because as you tell it – the dream memory fades away and you’re left with – just a feeling.

What if our lives here on earth are just a ‘dream’ – a cheap version of the real thing – the after life.  As Christians we believe that Heaven is our ultimate ‘home’ and that our lives here on earth are only temporary.  We have a certain amount of time to be born – live and then die.  We believe that we have a choice about our ‘after life’ by making a decision for God or against Him.   Remember in the movie when they were talking about levels of dreams and when you get to the 3rd level you could live a lifetime in a dream?  Isn’t that what we have here on earth – a lifetime?  It’s an interesting thought.  I believe that this life will pass away some day – and when we die – or ‘wake up’ in our permanent home – we will remember this life no more – or at least very little – almost like a ‘dream’.  The only difference will be that we were given an opportunity to make a critical ‘choice’ here on earth.

So if that is true – that this is the ‘temporary’ and when we die is the ‘permanent’ – or real life – how would that change things for you?  Would you live your life differently knowing you were in a dream?  Would there be more ‘urgency’ to accomplish things for the Kingdom of Heaven knowing you could ‘wake up’ any time soon?  Would you make a difference choice about how you’re living?  Would you choose God?  Would you love people better?  Jesus said, “Heaven and Earth will pass away – but my words will never pass away”  The real living begins with Jesus – the part of us that you can’t see – and our bodies the ‘physical’ us is a temporary holding unit for our ‘spirit’ – which will one day ‘pass away’.

I want to do everything I can in this ‘lifetime’ to accomplish what I can for the next ‘reality’.  The next ‘reality’ is the real thing and it lasts forever.

As a Christian I believe that however you choose to look at it – it is our ‘soul’ that will live on – even after our earthly bodies die.  I believe we have a choice as to where we will spend that ‘after life’ – and I believe the choice is Jesus – or not Jesus.  The choice is yours.  I plan to spend my eternity in Heaven and look forward to the great adventure that’s waiting for me after I ‘wake up’.

God Bless

Like a foolish dreamer, trying to build a highway to the sky
All my hopes would come tumbling down, and I never knew just why
Until today, when you pulled away the clouds that hung like curtains on my eyes
Well I’ve been blind all these wasted years and I though I was so wise
But then you took me by surprise

Like waking up from the longest dream, how real it seemed
Until your love broke through
I’ve been lost in a fantasy, that blinded me
Until your love broke through

All my life I’ve been searching for that crazy missing part
And with one touch, you just rolled away the stone that held my heart
And now I see that the answer was as easy, as just asking you in
And I am so sure I could never doubt your gentle touch again
It’s like the power of the wind

Like waking up from the longest dream, how real it seemed
Until your love broke through
I’ve been lost in a fantasy, that blinded me
Until your love, until your love, broke through

Graduation, Parties and Reflections

So today – we celebrated my son graduating from high school – he officially graduates on Tuesday to receive his diploma and wear his cap and gown – but since it is only a formality at this point in time – to us it is a ‘done deal’.  And so we celebrate.

I remember my own graduation from high school.  I was the emotional one in my high school class – and not too excited about leaving high school – I was happy there and very involved with the music program – Concertones and Jazz Choir and also pretty involved in drama.  I had friends and a former boyfriend I knew I would never see again once high school was over and was not anxious for that thought.  Some of my ‘guy friends’ bought me a box of kleenex as a joke and I found it in the music room with a note ‘for Cindy’ written on it as our class was lining up to take our ‘walk’ as graduates.  The year was 1979 – and the day was not much

My Senior Picture

different from today was.  Sunny and mostly warm – no rain and that meant we could have the ceremony out on our football field.  Our choir sang – I cried all the way through it – as we sang “Notes from Paul”.  I remember going to the “Top of the Inn” with my boyfriend and both our families after graduation.  The relationship I had with that guy didn’t last much past high school – but it was a special if not emotional day for me – I do remember that.

So much has changed – and now my ‘baby’ is graduating.  I don’t feel too much different from the way I felt 31 years ago this month.  It’s funny – when you’re graduating from high school – you feel so old and mature.  You don’t realize it is just the beginning of your life in so many ways.  Still so much growing up to do – so many things to experience – so much of life still to come.  I’m not sure what things are coming their way for my son – but if he’s anything like me – he will learn it mostly through life experience and not so much what people tell him.  He will make his own reflections some day – and perhaps become a musician and a writer like me – and look back on the day he graduated as a stepping stone to another place – and a new beginning for him.

Life changes so much for us from the time we’re 18 to when we’re parents and then onward to midlife.  Our perspective changes as life ‘happens’ to us – and sometimes the things we believed and held so tightly to – slip away from us.  And sometimes we find out things that we didn’t believe – are suddenly thrust upon us.  Sometimes life is gentle and kind – sometimes it is not.  We encounter those who make life better and easier for us – and those that hinder us and make life difficult.  It is through all of these experiences that we learn as each is something new and unique to our separate ‘journey’ through life.   We find that not everyone can go with us on some of that ‘journey’.  Sometimes we need to find the strength to take step toward our future – on our own – with no one beside us except the Lord Jesus Himself.  And if we let Him lead and guide us through that path ahead of us – we find we’re never really alone.  It is those times that shape our character and help us make it through the tough times of pain, conflict and heartache that is ahead of us.  There is also deep joy in trusting your life to your creator – and know that He holds you and won’t let you go.  And that nothing will be too hard to encounter with His help and guidance to make it through.  It is a wonderful thing to discover what your God-given talents and gifts are – and then to be able to use them to the best of their ability.  There is no greater joy than to find what you were designed to do – find someone who loves you for you – and to love them back – no matter what storms may come into your path.  To experience the love and grace of the Lord through those storms – and those victories – the deepest valleys and the highest mountains of your existence – the good and the bad – the ugly and the beautiful – and to feel safe – ah….the greatest feeling in the world.

Here is wishing you and yours a wonderful season of love and great reflections.

God Bless

To Drew

You will graduate from University today

I remember when you first walked into our home

Shy and bashful

your eyes dancing with fun

it was like a peaceful wind had blown in our place

and never left

I remember the way you looked at my daughter

eyes fixed on her face

taking in every word she said

and you still do

I remember every conversation

the times we had to be tough

the rules and limitations we imposed on you

to protect our only daughter

who still lived at home then

And you were always gracious

never a harsh word

never an attitude or tone

the perfect gentleman

ready to take blame for any mistake

I remember when you came to be with Ashlee

when she was sick

you had to take two buses to get here

but you did

I remember Valentine’s Day

you were sick

and you still came

to be with her

I remember when Greg said,

“He’s the real deal” Ash.

“Guys vote with their feet”

and so you did

After that – we couldn’t get rid of you

you were always hanging around

and when Ashlee moved out on her own

we knew you would watch out for her

and you did

When you proposed

it was special and romantic

and you went to great lengths

to prove that you meant it

and you did

And then your wedding day came

you never changed

you were always the same

steady and true

unmovable and constant

it was just what Ashlee needed

and still does

You have worked hard – even after being married

this whole last school year

that nothing would interfere with your studies

and nothing did

You’re a hard worker

a finisher

slow and steady

with excellent follow through

and you did it

I am very proud of you today

I am anxious to see what the next step will be

in your career path

in your marriage

and in your life

Many blessings on you today

Lots of love  ♥♥♥

And Congratulations!

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