Musings From A Musical Mind

Archive for the ‘Headaches’ Category

Safety In Numbers

Sueños rotos / Broken dreams

Image by Tomás Rotger via Flickr

Our pastor had another excellent message this morning on “How To Deal with Broken Dreams”.

I was aware of the fact, as he was speaking – that I have had a few dreams and things I thought would turn out differently from what they have.  I think if we are honest – we would all say the same thing.

And it is in a world of broken or unfilled dreams – that you and I can become restless and discouraged.  The most common reaction to heartbreak is to pull away from others.  To isolate ourselves and try to make it on our own.  This is when we need be very aware that when we are pulling away from others –  Satan can have a grip on us – catching us when we are weak and alone.  And pulling us down.

1 Peter 5 says this:

8-11Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.

I’m so glad He has the last word.  His hand of protection is always on me.  There is also ‘safety in numbers’.  When we rely on good council from strong Christian brothers and sisters – and are accountable to them – we are less likely to fall away – make unwise choices and stray off the path.

I admit – I like to pull away and be alone – it is in my nature to do so.  I’ve always been somewhat of a ‘loner’.  This is why – although I enjoy my friendships – it is always easier and more comfortable for me to pull away from the crowd.  Being in a married situation – and a mom  – took real discipline for me as a person – because many times when I would prefer to be alone – my circumstances were not conducive to it – nor would my family hear of it!  But my very patient husband was wonderful in understanding this about me – and at times when our children were very young – he would tell me he was going to watch them and that I could just go somewhere for several hours – to give me a much-needed break.

And although this may be a positive in many ways to like to be alone – and be able to refuel and recharge – it is not always healthy.  I need people – the friendships in my life are very important to me – so I have to work at them.  The things we value – we will make time for.  It is the same way in my marriage to Greg.  I value my time alone – but I also make time for him – because it is healthy for me to do so.  He keeps me grounded.  His love allows me to be who I am – and it is a safe place.

I have also learned that I have to let go of some of the strongholds in my life – people who haven’t treated me right – my chance for complete restoration with an old friend – etc., etc.  In letting go and not expecting anything in return – and in fact –  never seeing things the way I would like them to be.   I decided something today.  This is a ‘broken dream’ and I need to let go of it.  Period.  No more wishing and dreaming of the day that things will be put to right.  No more waiting to ask the questions and find the answers – to hear that I’m not crazy after all.  Just forgiving and letting it go.  Stephen said it so well this morning.  ‘Forgive and ask questions later’.  How simple this sounds.  How true it is.  But how humbling and challenging.  And yet – I know I have to lead my heart in this area.  I have to live with my own choices and my response to the way others have treated me.  I’m very aware that this puts me in a vulnerable position to NOT have those walls of protections around me – yes – I could be hurt again.  But it is a risk I’m willing to take – because it’s the right thing to do.

Colossians 3 says this:

15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

Peace and thankfulness.  So much to be thankful for.  So much.

And so on this Halloween day – my prayer for you is the same.  Let go of it – all of it.  And God will bless you for it.  Forgive and ask questions later.

Here’s hoping and praying that you will do just that.  Stay close to God – and stay close to each other.

God Bless

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There’s An Elephant In The Room

Who is This? I remember the cartoon, but not h...

Image by Medusa's Lover via Flickr

There’s an elephant in the room.   No one talks about it.  No one dares.

We avoid

We run and hide

We joke

We tell stories

We change the subject

and still….

There’s an elephant in the room

This poor ignored elephant – one that used to be rather small – but because everybody refuses to acknowledge her presence –  she has become  rather LARGE!  You see – she has an inferiority complex. A Big one.  And she drowns her sorrow and disappointment in eating anything she can get her hands on.  And because people would rather walk around her – even tiptoe lightly – she has to try to stay invisible in the center of the room – and not trip anybody up.  Oh she has tried to get everyone’s attention at times.   She even tries different colors to wear so she’ll stick out more and be noticed.  I’ve even seen her painting her toe nails red – and then waving her hands and feet wildly in the air – but to no avail.  She even waved and winked at me one time too – I’m sure of it.  I just shook my head and smiled.  I mean – really – what else could I do?  She’s an elephant.

Poor, poor elephant.

I’m waiting for the day – when someone can’t take it anymore and jumps up and says, “Hey!!!  There’s a LARGE elephant in here!  Do you see her?”  But until that day….

We avoid

We run and hide

We tell jokes

We tell stories

and….

We change the subject.

No one likes an elephant – especially a LARGE one with brightly colored clothes and painted red toenails, Right?  This elephant could change everything forever.  And no one will speak up.  No one will take the risk. Better to ignore and pretend….

There’s an elephant in the room

Where’s Your Bucket?

Last week I went on an adventure with Greg to West Seattle.  He had to pick something up from a building supply place and then take it to a Starbucks store and fix the problem.  Greg ‘moonlights’ as a contractor for Starbucks and does random cleaning and light maintenance of several stores around the greater Seattle area – when he’s not doing a wedding or a funeral.

It was going to be just a routine ride – I was only along so he’d have some company.  We didn’t think we’d run into any traffic because we were going well before normal rush hour – and stayed off the main heavy traffic places.  It was going to be a pleasant – wonderful ride.

However…

I had a headache.  Not a very bad one – not like the ones I used to get when I had those headaches.  By those – I mean the ultimate  ‘Granddaddy’ of all headaches – and I wrote an article on what mine are like – here it is:  “My Fear Button”.  This was not one of those. Just a little nagging thing – hurting above my right eyebrow – but not bad enough to keep me home.

We came to the first place to pick up what Greg needed to get – a building supply place.  He was gone for several minutes and my head really starting to hurt.  He got what he needed and we headed down the road – but as we continued along we soon found ourselves in some wicked traffic.  We had even taken an alternate route – knowing that one freeway had heavy construction on it.  It didn’t seem to matter – everyone in the city was taking our little ‘short cut’ to another way around it.

Soon I knew that this was no ordinary headache.  I was starting to feel sick to my stomach too.  This was bad.  Very bad. I was soon envisioning another episode in the truck – involving a ‘hurling’ and my husband being humiliated.  I asked if we had a bucket in the truck – and Greg  (by now was a little panicky) quickly looked around and said – “No!  No bucket – you will just have to wait”  Easy for him to say.  I remembered that my “Cindy Box” was in the truck – (those of you who follow my blog know about my ‘box’ – those who do not – can click on “Cindy Box” and read up on it).  Of course it was filled with all my necessary products – I need them.  No ‘male’ operated  truck that carries a ‘female’ should be without these products – it’s really easier on the relationship and marriage.  I said, “Greg – can you reach my “Cindy Box”?”  I saw his eyes grow large with alarm as he said, “It’s full – you can’t use that!”

It reminded me of when Bill Cosby’s wife was going into labor and she started to have painful contractions in the car and Bill said, “No dear – WAIT!!!  I’ll pull over – not in the car dear – NOT IN THE FERRARI!

It wasn’t very funny at the time – especially when Greg told me I’d have to hang on until the next exit.  I’m like, “It doesn’t work that way Greg!”  But hang on I did – and when we finally got off the freeway – I was white as a sheet working very hard to think about ‘puppies’ and ‘snowflakes’ and ‘teddy bears’ – anything but food and throwing up!!  Greg pulled up next to an office building and quickly jumped out – scooped up my ‘box’ and emptied it so I would have a container for the rest of the ride.  Smart man.  He knows too well that I have used a container and I probably will again.  After getting out and getting some fresh air – I felt well enough to jump back in for the rest of the painfully slow ride to the Starbucks.

After arriving  – a hot cup of coffee (caffeine is very good for headaches) and time out of the vehicle really felt good!  I was not headache free – but at least it was manageable.  I have found that my headaches and stomach aches  run together – almost indistinguishable at times.  Once the pain has gone on too long in the head – the stomach reacts.  It’s a given.

Well I’m thankful to report – I did not have to disgrace my “Cindy Box” in any way – and humiliate my sensitive and easily embarrassed sweet husband.  The ‘items’ of necessity are all safety back in place – and I was told today that the ‘bucket’ is back in the truck.  Hmmmm.  I wonder why?

Take care and God Bless

Loud Noises

So today we had a beautiful SUNNY day in Seattle.  Yes – it happens ALL THE TIME here – that’s why everyone is buzzing about it today ♥  Not really – we get excited in Seattle – especially in the winter months – okay – even in the spring (as one of my friends pointed out today) because we can go for quite a while without seeing it.

Most people LOVE to see the sun.  Makes them feel happier – drives away the doldrums etc.  However, for me – much as I love the sun too – it can bring a change in the barometric pressure so severe that I get an intense headache.  Unfortunately these can happen while I sleep – so by the time I wake up – it’s too late for any serious medication to help.  Oh I don’t mean a migraine – that is a completely different kind of pain – and once in a migraine folks – just forget it.  Nothing helps unless you can catch it right up front.

This headache was sinus – and really stubborn.  Greg thought some fresh air would help – so off to Coulon Park in the town that we live – to do some walking after eating some lunch.  While in the lunch place – I was KEENLY aware of the loud noises coming from some little kids – who seemed to be VERY FOND of randomly just SCREAMING out – for some unknown, crazy reason.  One was a BLOOD CURDLING scream – unprovoked and unpredicted – as my back was turned from the child – and Greg was facing in that direction but did not even warn me about this sudden OUTBURST of LOUD NOISE.  You can imagine my response.  And my headache suddenly became worse.  Really?  You’re kidding – why do babies and children do that?  Mine never did.  I’m sure they made noise – just not random SCREAMING in a public place.  I was embarrassed for the Mom.

Light also bothers me when I have a headache – and we tried the walk – but because it’s so sunny – and the headache was now WORSE – we gave up and I went home only to take more pills and put ice on my head – again.

So I’m trying to rest – and even dozed off a little – finally fell asleep – which is a small miracle and the next thing I know – I can hear my dear “quiet” husband – speaking on the phone VERY LOUDLY in the next room without even so much as closing the door to his office or anything.  It was annoying – and even worse because of my bad headache.  He woke me UP!!  So being the nice, patient person that I am – I got up – and STOMP, STOMP, STOMP when into his office and said, “are you KIDDING ME?  Don’t you realize how LOUD you are???””  and then SLAMMED the door.  Well it completely threw him off – and he didn’t know what to say next on the phone – he’s not used to being yelled at – I’m usually so patient and so nice ☺  So later when I got up and told him about it – I was amazed at how mad he was!  It reminded us of that line from “A Christmas Carol” when Scrooge throws out a man from his office for not paying the rent – and the man says, “Thanks for not shouting at me” – we had a good chuckle over it – as you can imagine.

The headache got better – as the day went on – a little caffeine didn’t hurt either – and I was able to still teach my students – and be in a relatively good mood too!

Here’s to you and yours – hoping your world is filled with peaceful, quiet and soothing sounds today!

God Bless

What’s Wrong With The World?

British author Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 – 1936) is known for his insightful views on many issues. Once when The Times asked him and several other prominent authors to write essays on the subject “What’s Wrong with the World?” Chesterton answered succinctly:

Dear Sirs,

I am.

Sincerely yours,

G. K. Chesterton

The above was read to us several weeks ago by Pastor Greg Daulton of Mount Rainier Christian Center – as an introduction to his message that day.  I have never forgotten these words.  They are simple – they are profound.  They are absolutely correct.

We can blame – point fingers – wish things were better – or that person would FINALLY get it – etc. etc. – but the bottom line is the simple truth.  We are sinful.  When you break down the world’s problems and issues – it is ME that is to blame.

I love things broken down in a simple way so that even I can understand it.

Jesus came to provide a simple solution for a complicated world.  He did not blame, point fingers or accuse – He just simply came. He got involved in a personal way – in a simple way.  And when there was no solution for the chaos of sin – He gave. He died.  Problem solved.

We make life so complicated by our bickering – finding blame in everyone except ourselves. Jesus came as a solution to this.  By just believing in Him – He removes sin and frustration from our lives.  We no longer have to “go it” alone.  He died so that we could live.  He IS the solution for the world today.

Many years ago I heard a story about a famous theologian named Karl Barth, who had a tremendous grasp of the Scriptures. He had studied many years, and was a sought after speaker. One day, someone asked him what the greatest theological discovery he had made during his life. He thought for some time and finally stated,

“Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so!”

Simple.

Uncomplicated.

Truth.

What’s wrong with the world?  It’s ME.

God Bless

My Fear Button

It’s not world events

It’s not finances – although we all have our concerns about them

It’s not that I have an 18 year old son still living here

It’s not my busy schedule with my Music Studio

It’s not the upcoming Recital

It’s not the theater production of “Ella Enchanted” coming in January

No

None of these

It’s an unseen phantom

That usually comes under cover of darkness

I fear it

I do anything to avoid it

I prepare for it

Sometimes it comes

Sometimes it leaves me alone

It is called

A MIGRAINE

I started getting these headaches in College.  The traditional ones where there is a strange fuzzy thing that moves across your vision and makes it hard to focus on anything for about 30 minutes – then WHAMMO – the pain hits in the temple.  Not fun.  Once I was done with the stress of College – they went away for a season.

When we lived in Vero Beach Florida – years later I had them again.  I will never forget being in a fetal position on my bed – Greg was gone with the youth all day somewhere (Awwww the great days of being youth pastor’s) and 6 year old Ashlee and 2 year old Shawn were with me at home.  It must have been a bad one because I will NEVER forget Ashlee praying for me and yelling out – as only a 6 year old can do – with PASSION – “Dear JESUS!!!!!  Please heal Mommy!!!!”  It was so cute.  I did recover and a dear friend from our church suggested that I should come into the Chiropractor’s Office where she worked as a massage therapist – to get one of her AWESOME massages.  They really helped – I started going once a week – she never charged me – she always had me come after the office was closed – that was her gift to me because she loved me – I will never forget her kindness to me.

Sometime within the next month or so – we had a visiting Evangelist come to our church where we were serving on staff.  I came forward for prayer – and was instantly healed.  I didn’t have another one of those demonic episodes for years.  In fact – it was not until about a year and a half ago – due to all sorts of hormonal and chemical changes in my body that I once again began to experience them.  And in FULL FORCE this time.  I realize that what I had before were pretty wimpy compared to what I get now.

It usually starts in the middle of the night for me.  By the time I am conscious, it has it’s ugly grip on me – and won’t let go.  And everyone knows that if you don’t catch them when they first start – just FORGET IT – nothing you do will help.  I learned this the hard way.

The first one like this happened before I knew what was happening to me.  I knew I was in pain – but I had NEVER had anything like this – no warning – nothing.  There are many “triggers” for migraines – none of which seems to be consistent with me – it figures.  Nope – it just happens whenever it wants and leaves me completely helpless.  We tried ice – we tried pills – we called a nurse – actually Greg did – I was in a fetal position just trying to DEAL with the throbbing, hideous pain in my head – they make me light sensitive and I am VERY dizzy too – so in bed I stay – until…Oh yes – that kind of BLINDING pain make me vomit too.  It’s lovely.  Not just once – but many times.   Greg was so concerned about this – he called the doctor the first time this happened and she told him to bring me in for a shot to stop the vomiting.  Well that would have been lovely if it would have worked – but by this time the migraine was too far along for any shot to work.  No – you just have to let the nasty thing have its way with you – it takes a whole day – UNLESS you catch it early.

But like a good husband – he practically had to carry me to the car – complete with a bucket on my lap – because – “you never know” right?  As it turned out I found out something about myself on those car trips with a migraine and a bucket on my lap – you just DON’T CARE who sees you – vomiting in public seems to be the only recourse and it is all you can do to keep it together long enough to just get there!  Every stop light – with cars all around us – I would be “up chucking” and my poor embarrassed husband would patiently wait for the light to turn.  I don’t get embarrassed anymore.  I’ve had two children.  Natural.  Enough said.

Well the shot didn’t work – too little too late – had to go home – complete with vomiting all the way home – to sleep it off – many hours later I could walk around and eat again.  I wish that was the end of the story – but it is not.

You would think we had learned our lesson the first time going to the doctor – WELL into the migraine – but we DID NOT.  Again Greg was concerned to see me in that much pain – and doing so much vomiting – that away we went again to the doctor for a shot.  This migraine was much worse and more progressive – and I remember not even wanting to get up and into the car – knowing I would be vomiting all the way there again.  But go I did.  Not only was there vomiting in the car – again at every stop light – but when we got to the doctor’s office – they put me in a dark exam room and left us there for about 30 minutes – the damage was HUGE.  I vomited into the little tiny sink in the exam room – then when I felt safe to walk down the hall – had to find the bathroom too.  It was not pretty.  The shot didn’t help.  NO surprise.

I have found that a drug called Treximet is the ONLY thing that will help my bad ones – and if I feel one coming on – then that is what I take.  I recently acquired some wonderful samples of this drug – as they are VERY expensive and we don’t have prescription drug coverage any more with our new insurance.  When the pain isn’t a full blown migraine – I can get by with about 4 extra strength tylenol and 2 Aleve – if I catch it early.

The good news is this:  I haven’t had a bad one for almost a year now – I’m not sure what triggers mine – so that makes life very interesting – and I do live in a constant state of “fear” that one will strike – at a most interesting and unwelcome time.  I was so thankful that on Ashlee’s wedding day – I DID NOT have one – that was a big fear of mine for more than a year.  And I always have to deal with the “what if I get one” for performances – recitals etc.  But so far so good – I am armed and prepared for even the worst of them.

Well Brittney is here to give me a massage – and I am smiling at the thought 🙂

Here’s wishing that you have a headache free day!

God Bless

Are You In Proper Alignment?

Anyone that own a vehicle can testify to the value of periodic tune-ups and adjustments by your mechanic.  When a car is even slightly misaligned – there can be significant problems.  It can throw everything off.  And cause other problems with your vehicle after a while – which can be costly.

Our human bodies are like this too.  Never was I more reminded of this than yesterday.  I see a Chiropractor on a regular basis – Scott Pettet of Pettet Chiropractic in Renton, Washington.  He keeps me in proper alignment – or at least he keeps my bones and spinal column in proper alignment.  Yesterday I had a very bad headache at the back of my head on one side – and I just knew I needed to get in and see Dr. Pettet – so he could make the proper adjustment to my neck and make my headache go away.  Well it worked – again!

Dr. Pettet explained to me that the headache occurs when a bone in my neck is slightly off alignment with the spinal column – and therefore presses into a nerve – causing the pain.  He will then adjust the bone back to where it belongs and take the pressure off the nerve – Ahhhhhh RELIEF!!

I believe are hearts and minds need periodic adjustments too.  This can only happen if we are in correct relationship with the one who made our hearts and minds – and knows all about us – and how to fix us – get us back on track – helping us to think correctly and set us back on the path of health and wholeness.

“For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).”
Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).”

Have a very blessed day today – and Happy Halloween 🙂

God Bless

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