Musings From A Musical Mind

Archive for the ‘heart’ Category

I Just Want You To Be Happy.

English: 1882 photo of Lillian Russell in the ...

English: 1882 photo of Lillian Russell in the Bijou Opera House production of Gilbert and Sullivan’s Patience Português: A cantora Lillian Russell, na ópera Patience, em 1882 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This sentence has always troubled me.  I have heard it off and on when I was growing up.  And today in movies and television programs – there it is again.  Usually from parents talking to their children.  Usually after a “talk” about what they should or shouldn’t be doing.  The sentence “I just want you to be happy” is a disclaimer to any and all unpleasant topics and issues.

But what does it really mean?

I heard it yet again in a movie I was watching – and turned to Greg who was standing in the kitchen and said, “HA!  There it is again!  Those words.”  It is not the first time I’ve turned to Greg after hearing something like this – nor will it be the last.  This phrase seems to be one that is heard over and over again.

What does ‘being happy’ have to do with real life?  What exactly is the state of ‘happiness’ anyway?  Is there a quick pass and free ticket to that place just because someone wishes it for me?  “Well, since you put it that way – I guess I will be happy”  It doesn’t work that way.

Happy is a neutral place found by those who have felt the opposite once or twice in their lives.  Somewhere where pain is absent but easily remembered.  Where struggle and frustration gave birth to break through and hurt and determination yielded fruit.

I can no more wish that place on my children or anyone else without knowing what true happiness means – and what it takes to get there.  I believe you can’t get to happy without the ‘unhappy’ and all the rest first.  I know the journey to get there is worth it.  But I have also lived longer, tried more things and know what works with people and circumstances and what does not.  I am striving to live in that place of  ‘peace with all men’ and will do anything to remain there – in that place that is eternally ‘drama free’.  But that takes experience and just plain hard work.

A better thing to say to others is this:

I want you to be healthy.  Health requires good choices for your body and mind.  To be aware of what influences affect and pull you in ways not good for you.  To know your limits.  To fulfill your purpose.  To develop those God-given gifts and talents.  To move by God’s leading and always hear His voice.

And if you just must reference that word ‘happy’ – then I would say this instead:

I want you to always choose to be happy.  That in itself is a loaded statement.  You mean we can actually choose to be happy?  Even in negative circumstances?  Even when life is crashing down all around?  Even when I have no money for that next bill?  Even when someone has said negative things – ruined my reputation and tried to steal my joy?  Even when illness comes to stay?  Even when no one understands?

Yes.

It is in just those such things that eventually bring a kind of ‘happy’ – but it is deeper.  It is more like joy.  For in those trials and adversity – something happens to us.  We depend and lean more on God.  We get to know and understand His mercies and kindness.  Patience and perseverance are developed in us in an intangible way.  

Psalm 3:3 says:

But You, O LORD, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head.

When He is the one protecting and providing a shield around me and my circumstances, I can look at things differently.  I can lift my head.  I can choose to put on joy.

Won’t you choose to be happy?  Allow Him to walk beside you through those stormy times of life.  And He will lift your head.  The next time someone says to you, “I just want you to be happy” come back with this statement:  “I will choose health and choose to be happy no matter what my circumstances”.  You will be empowered by this statement of faith.  And in your faith – you will find happy.

God Bless

Advertisements

How Do You Love?

Last night Greg and I watched the movie “Three Men and a little Lady” – made some 20 years ago or so. In the last part of the movie – the leading man finally finds the courage to tell the leading woman how he feels about her. She wonders what took him so long (5 years later) in fact on her wedding day to another man – he finally confesses that he loves her, not just for her 5 year old daughter, but for himself alone. Complicated? Yes. Self serving? I’m not sure. Does he have the right to love for just how it makes him feel? With no regard to how anybody else does? Because it brings him happiness to love her?

This has always been a topic of conversation around our house. Greg has always claimed that love in its most stripped down mode – is selfish. I’m not sure I have always agreed. I’ve had my share of relationships (in the love department) gone sour and very bad. And though I agree with the premis – I have trouble coming to grips with loving someone just because it feels good or because they love me. Aren’t people worth loving even when they don’t love back? How about those who choose to walk away? Are we to stop loving them?

The Bible tells us that God loved us while we were still sinners – and far from Him – Christ died for us. That kind of love is far beyond our comprehension. We as human beings have trouble with it. Most people who hurt us, mistreat us, stop loving us, turn away, love someone else, stop speaking, etc. – we write off as being unlovable and unreachable. Even when we have had relationship with them that has been good at one time. How different we are from the heart of God. God loves even when it is not returned.

Marriage – especially a long-term one is a great example of unconditional love. You don’t always feel like loving all the time. There are disagreements and differences. There is not always romance. You don’t say: “I will love you as long as it feels good for me and as long as you love me back – otherwise all bets are OFF!” Love is so much more than that – it is a choice. 7 days a week, 12 months, 365 days a year. Every year. Through rain and shine – thick and thin – in sickness and in health. Even when the person does not love you back in the way you think they should. Even when they don’t always understand you. Even then.

How do you love? Does your love have conditions? Is your love a selfish love that says: I will love you only if you love me back? I will give of my time only if I get something back from it? Are people worth loving just simply because they are?

I think they are.

 

God Bless

A Life Worth Watching

god

god (Photo credit: the|G|™)

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” –Unknown

At the end of the day – when no one else is watching, that is where truth and honesty shake hands and become good friends.  Forced together in the privacy of my own heart – this is where I find myself,  facing my own life and my own truth.

It is not what I do in public, or even with good friends – it is what happens to me in private that really matters.

I can “put it on” – and shine for people – light up a stage, cause people to laugh, or even brighten someone’s day.  But it is in that secret place that only I know about, where my life begins and ends.

My good deeds will indeed be remembered by many, and my encouragement and willingness to lend a hand to those in need, my gifts of service to others and even things I write about, be note worthy and even may be talked about at the end of my time here on earth.

But it is in my heart – the place where no one sees that is of worth to God alone.  He takes special interest – enough to make a permanent dwelling place there.  It is there that I cannot hide my attitude, my motives and my desires.  I am forced to be real, honest, flawed, imperfect, disheartened, confused, depressed, even rebellious and questioning.  Most of these things I can easily hide from you.  But I cannot hide it from myself or God.

So for me to be a success – it is not in the outward, the things I have accomplished in my work, with friends or family – it is in the private moments and in the state of my own heart.  The place that I am reduced to each day when I am alone with my own thoughts.  Where God remains with no signs of bolting.  He stays through the toughest storms in my mind – the confusion of hurt, and even when I’m not being honest with myself.  He stays to be a gentle reminder of what my life can be.  A buffer to still the messiness and clutter that I take on myself.  He alone knows the real me – what my life is really like away from the eyes of people I know.

And though I am well aware that I have not arrived – I would like my private life – that only God and I know about to be His vision for me.

One where I have learned through experience, time and patience that kindness, gentleness, meekness and graciousness have won and are becoming more evident, more real, each new year – as I strain forward to be more loving and more understanding and compassionate, regardless of circumstances around me, or reactions of events or from people who have come and gone.  It will be that steady, unwavering conviction that love always wins, gentleness heals, and showing mercy is always the best way.

This is what I hold as a true value in my life – and the true test whether I have been a success at the end of my life.

What about you?  Will your life be a life worth watching?

God Bless

How’s Your Heart?

Aren’t you glad?  Or are you?

Only God sees the true you – the good, bad and ugly.  There’s no pretending, covering and dressing it up.  It is what it is – to God, and God alone.

Today is a fresh day – with a chance to put things to right.  Won’t you do it – today?

So – how’s your heart?

Happy February – God Bless!

How Persistent Are You?

sunny disposition |24

Image by ms.Tea via Flickr

I am a positive person – one who used to jump out of bed in the morning as a child and have a “sunny” disposition most of the time – just ask my mother.  And although I do NOT jump out of bed in the morning now – I’m still the same positive person – for the most part.

I usually see the best in people – not the worst.  This can be a problem.  How – you say?  Well if I only see the good in people – and ignore or avoid the dark side of behavior or tendencies – then it always seems to surprise and sneak up on me when things go sideways.  And not in a good way.

However – because of my ability to “see only the best” I have been able to go places that few ever dare to.  Jumping in and charging full force into something I have NO CLUE about – or what dangers may lie waiting for me there.

I like to think of this as sheer optimism – but others call it reckless abandon and naivety.   And I have paid a very high emotional cost for going there with some.  A price that I still pay today.

How does one truly love and see the good – without holding back and analyzing people first?  Deciding whether or not they are worth my time – or anyone’s time?  I’ve never been very good at holding back.

I’ve also never been one to give up easily.

I am VERY persistent in the things that other deem “impossible”.

You say I CAN’T do that?  I say – Yes I can!

That situation is impossible, you say?  No it is NOT!  Thank you very much.

You say that I will never be able to learn that new task?  I will learn it or die trying.

If there is an unresolved relationship, daunting and scary to revisit and investigate  – You say – “that person will never revisit – ever begin the scary process of starting again  – where there has been silence – suddenly start talking again”.  I say, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”  I will never stop believing – never stop praying – never stop hoping.  My motto is:  “Hope spring eternal” – and that is how I will always see it.  Period.

And if we are Christians and really live like we believe – then SHAME ON THOSE who tell me there is no hope in a situation.  No possibility for reconciliation from a estranged brother or sister – no glimmer of things to be put to right again.  I believe the impossible – because I really live what I believe.  I cannot be responsible for how others respond to pain, loss and hurt – but I can be ready to receive them back – when they finally are ready to come back.  I am ready to give up the fight – and to welcome back what was lost to me.

And I’m just dumb enough to believe that once someone imprints on your heart – they are never really lost to you – and that someday they will come back.  And that love is the greatest motivator we have.  A friendship that had depth and meaning – will always find a way to make amends.  Even when dumb things are said and done.  Even then.

How persistent are you in your faith?  In a relationship gone bad?  In something new that takes patience and resolve?  Don’t wait to resolve it – the other person at the end of your dark journey may just be waiting for you there.

I am praying for you today.

God Bless

Truth Or Spare?

Truth

Image by TW Collins via Flickr

Yesterday my husband and I were returning from a fun date night in the snow – after having gone to Taco Bell and then Starbucks for a cup of coffee – we were returning home when we landed on such an interesting subject – I just HAD to write a blog article about it.

We were talking about something we had seen the night before on an episode of one of our favorite shows, “House”.  In this episode, House was addressing a group of grade school kids – and said to them, ‘Everyone lies’.

We all do it – we say we don’t – but we do.  Even Bill Cosby in his book, “Bill Cosby Himself”, said – ‘I love it when people will say that they LOVE children because they are so truthful.  The only time children tell the truth is when they’re in pain’.  So true – children learn to be manipulative from a very early age – we all have done it.  We know how to twist the truth to get our way – blame someone else when something is broken – lie about being sick so we get to stay home from school – or to watch a special program on TV.

We learn it as children and then get better at it when we are grown.    Oh I don’t mean terrible lies – but everyone tells little white lies – and mostly they are harmless.  But is it ever right to tell a lie?

What about telling a lie to spare someone’s feelings?  We all have done it.  A good friend gets a really bad haircut – or a new outfit and they ask you point-blank – “How do I look?”  You wouldn’t hurt your friend for the world – and so even if it’s not great – even really bad – you lie and say, “I think you look great!”  Which you know you don’t mean – but you love them and wish to spare them. You say, “I was protecting them”.

And let’s face it.  Sometimes the cold hard truth – can be very damaging.  There are those that seem to take great pleasure in doing this.  You know the people I mean – the black and white folk who see NO GRAY and have to tell it like it is – even being brutally honest – because – hey – it’s the truth!  Usually those folks are fine with giving it – but not so great at receiving it.

Is it okay to lie a little – when it’s to protect someone?  Their delicate and fragile feelings?  What about when it’s to protect yourself? What then?

We all have some pretty interesting conversations and thoughts going on in our heads that no one can see and hear.  It would be really humiliating to have it exposed at times – because besides you and God – no one hears and sees what is going on inside.

There have been times when my husband wants to know what’s going on there – I think he may even be afraid to ask – in this new season we are in of ‘absolute honesty’ – but still I am selective about what I tell him – I don’t wish to hurt him – so I withhold the ‘truth’ a lot of times or dummy it down.  I’m sure he does this for me as well.  Everyone does this.  We would be SCARED TO DEATH to know what it is lurking in everyone’s minds.  This is why I keep a journal.  They are my private thoughts – reserved for myself.  I don’t want anyone reading it – nor should anyone.  They would misunderstand – these are my thoughts alone.

I believe that’s why people write their thoughts down – it is a way of getting them out – a way to reflect and pray – a way to allow the love of Jesus to renew and refresh – validate and kiss the ideas, questions and inspirations that come from living, failing, hurting and struggling and then ultimately finding that in doing so – brings perspective and healing – and a joy to begin again each new day.  They are not meant for another human being – who could get their feelings hurt – misunderstand the heart of what’s being thought about and so on.

If you’ve ever been exposed – or had things you’ve said in a journal – or to a special friend come out – to another person completely out of context – then you know the pain in which I am referring.  Those thoughts that were not meant for others to see – But that were the internal questioning, searching and struggling that was meant for someone you trust and for God – to help and bring perspective your troubled and questioning soul.

Can we always be completely transparent with what we are thinking and feeling?  I don’t think we can – nor do I think it’s wise.  First of all – not everyone knows us well enough for us to empty our thoughts out to them.  I believe there is a certain wisdom in being cautious and even guarded about subjects that are dicey and sensitive.  I know for me – I will never reveal things about myself to someone who I cannot trust with my life – words have an ugly way of coming back when I have not been wise and the truth can come back to bite me – my own words of authenticity – can be perceived as dangerous and rebellious to those who do not understand my heart – and motive.

So when do we reveal?  When do we spare?  I believe we need to be wise, cautious, loving and encouraging to those around us and in our world.  I believe that not every random thought needs to be said.  I believe in discretion.  But I also believe in being me – and not letting fear of what has been revealed or what may be revealed in the future about me and my words and thoughts – prevent me from being who I really am – and steal my joy.

This is a daily balancing act.  My thoughts and feelings – my internal dialogue, questions and musings that go on inside my head.

And as for the truth – we all tell it – at least our version of it. And if we’re really honest we would have to admit that we ‘spare’ way more than we ‘reveal’.  And sometime the only time we ever really tell the real truth in regard to another person – is when they are in danger, hurting or in trouble – and we need to intervene on their behalf.

Lord help me to work on me – to make me more like you – no hidden agenda – no personal gain.  Help me to love like you do – to be good, honest, kind and giving.  To live a life of integrity – but also of graciousness with all of those entrusted to me – just like you are gracious and kind to me – telling me the truth in such a way that it helps me – doesn’t hurt me – that corrects and convicts me to live better and want to be an example of your love to others.  The AMAZING thing is this:  You know me – and all my thoughts and still you accept me just the way I am.  That is freedom. Help me to model this behavior to those around me.  Help me accept people just the way they are – no questions – no opinions – no judgment.

This is the only way to live.  And that’s the truth.

God Bless

  • Show Me! (cindyholman.wordpress.com)
  • truth (lapuraveritacw.wordpress.com)

Reflecting God’s Love

Mount Hood reflected in Mirror Lake, Oregon.

Image via Wikipedia

As water reflects a face,
so a man’s heart reflects the man.
–Proverbs 27:19

 

When I see a reflection of myself in the mirror – especially in the early morning when I first get up – my appearance is disheartening – especially to me.  I don’t like what I see – it means I am getting older.  My face reflects what is going on inside of me – the aging process that never ends – and I am part of it.

And yet – my age, wisdom and knowledge can benefit others so much – as I encourage and help those around me and use that ‘aging’ to bring perspective to others – concentrating on the positive aspects on middle age.

Mostly what I want others to see – is God’s love in my life, in what I do, what I say. I want to reflect His tolerance, forgiveness, grace and  unconditional love.  Because I have lived it – and understand it fully.  I fail miserably at this most of the time – because my own self gets in the way and I’m afraid I become a rather poor reflection of His love and unlimited mercy in my own life.

When I fail – I am acting out of my own selfish desires and motives and it leaves a rather poor reflection of the nature of the God that I serve and that I live for.  Instead it reveals what kind of person I really am – on the inside.  Just like my face in the mirror – I cannot hide it.

And like you – I am still on that never-ending journey – I’m getting older, I’m learning valuable lessons about life and people on the way – and I have a great many things to share with others about God’s love – His grace – and mercy – and I am still taking steps toward that incredible stubborn love – to be a better reflection for others.  Less of me – much more of Him.

God Bless

Tag Cloud

diana iannarone

Wake Up. Stand Up. Live Free. A Perceptual Approach to Rapid Growth and Permanent Change

Fallen Pastor

Helping fallen pastors and those affected by a fall from ministry

THE MIND OF RD REVILO

Conscious Thought: Driven by Intelligent Awareness

The Devotion Cafe'

Love and Empowerment

Poems & People

what if poems could be symphonies, and people their orchestra?

The Fickle Heartbeat

A blog about love or lack thereof

knitting soul

turning the knots into something beautiful

Kristi Ann's Haven

Jesus ( Yeshua) Saves!!

GODINTEREST - Christian digital media website exploring faith, culture and life

Godinterest is a place to talk about God, Culture, Life and all that other stuff

The Light Post

Scott & Christina Graff

Natalie Breuer

Natalie. Writer. Photographer. Etc.

iwedplanner wedding vendors

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

Granny Smith: Unleashed

Observations and random thoughts from a "not so teenager."

meganelizabethmorales

MANNERS MAKETH MAN, LOST BOYS FAN & PERPETAUL CREATIVITY.

TLP

Finding Clear and Simple Faith

lostcompanion

Alcoholism

Brendan Cole - Writer

Musings On Life and Other Minutiae

Chickens Bring Peace to the Earth

Slow down, pray, make better choices

generaliregi

Romance of Five Clouds and Magical Poetry

FOGwalkerBirdie

Walking in the Favor Of God

PROPEL STEPS

Education is Everything

Upside DIY

Born from the love of, "Do It Yourself" attitude!

Soul Access

LAY DOWN YOUR MASK AND BE KNOWN BELOVED

Traveling with Thomas

Follow me as I study in London and travel Europe

Life Confusions

"I Will Find Words, Smith them Down. For Love Is Infinite And So Are They."

ann johnson-murphree

Artist, Writer of Confessional Free Verse Poetry and Fiction

Gotta Find a Home

Conversations with Street People

Ed Mooney Photography

The home of Kildare based Photographer, Blogger and self proclaimed Ruinhunter.

MyCreativeHaven

”Art washes from the soul the dust of everyday life.” -- Picasso.

gabrielsfury

poems & stories, thoughts about people and places between moments of clarity, or not.

A Blumes With a View

Putting the "blah" in blog!!

charmcitythriftanista.wordpress.com/

Why do high low when you can keep it on the low low?

Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas

** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **

Patterns Tried and True makes a happy YOU

Help Hope Happiness! Knowledge sets you free to become the best you can be!

allmostrelevant

Want to see what an Instagram with no pictures looks like? @allmostrelevant

Good Time Stories

Inspiring and Heartwarming Stories

STEAL MY POETRY

All things unpublishable.

Jayson D. Bradley

Honest to God

Writing Sisters

Your Story - Our Story - God's Story

Book of Mohs

The adventures of an softhearted father

%d bloggers like this: