Musings From A Musical Mind

Archive for the ‘Stupid People’ Category

Finding The On/Off Switch!

A picture of a Toggle light switch.

Image via Wikipedia

I’m looking for a little switch that I’ve misplaced.  It should be a simple thing to find – but I can’t locate it.

My computer has such a switch – so does my desk lamp – my candle warmers and the lights all around my house.  If I don’t want anything on anymore – I just flip the switch – to OFF!

My mind used to have one of these – long ago when I was much younger and slept deeper.  These days I cannot find the switch that shuts off the endless conversations with unseen people and circumstances – they follow me into my dreams.

Last night Greg was out working very late and I tried to settle in, relax and go to sleep.  Again – I could not find the switch and everything in my mind was turned to ON!  And sadly, ‘ON’ means – nothing is quiet.  Everything is up for grabs – including different case scenarios for past events – and conversations with certain individuals I know I’ll NEVER have.  Somehow my mind tries to make up for the lack.  It gladly fill in the blanks on events that have no answers.  This can be good – and it can be VERY BAD.  Sometimes the imagination of the mind – leaves me feeling sad – because none of it is true.

I’d still like to find my ‘switch’ – and never lose it again.  I would turn it ‘Off’ when getting ready to turn in for the night – and then turn it to ‘ON’ when ready to get up – giving my exhausted brain a chance to recover.  *Sigh*

Do you have a ‘switch’?  Or have you misplaced it somewhere along the way, like I have?

In a perfect world – we would never lose that switch – and in a perfect world things would be solved, conflicts brought to right and everyone come to an understanding – and there would be no need for such a switch.

 

God Bless

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With God’s Help, I Shall Be Myself

Cover of "Funny Faces"

Cover of Funny Faces

‎”Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that…Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”
–Galatians 6:4-5 The Message

 

Found this passage of scripture yesterday on a page that I subscribe to on facebook.  I love The Message Bible because it speaks with everyday language that I can understand and more easily, apply to my life.

With life’s cares, burdens, stresses and other things – it becomes difficult to even remember who I am – what my calling is – and just how to do it.  And yet I am instructed to – BE WHO I AM.

Being who I am is difficult.  Not so much in my own head – although that can be a problem too after years of masking who I am – in order to fit it – get along with – or remain with the status quo.  Mostly it is hard because the image I project is sometimes very different from who I really am.  And my responses are carefully guarded after so long of being careful not to offend – and not to be rejected for being different.

But in this scripture I am encouraged to be me.  To do a thorough inventory of myself. Not what others see me as – or want me to be.  Not what I have carefully tried to conceal from people and even myself – but to break free from other thoughts and ideas that others would try to project on me – and just be me.

I have many stories from past ministry life that would raise the hair on the back of your neck – how others tried to muzzle me or tell me what was right for me – how to act – what to say – how to dress etc. etc.  It made me very cautious – it made me very conflicted inside.  I wasn’t sure for many years – who I was – or even if I was satisfied with being different.  Even as recent as two years ago I had a situation where again I felt free to be me – only to be blasted because I was expressing that part of me that had been shut up for so long.  I was once again muzzled and felt humiliated for my words  – by someone I thought understood and encouraged me to be me!  What a concept.  I was wrong – and my attempt at being myself and breaking free was met in the end with lack of understanding and rejection.  But the last couple of years have taught me something.  I like who I am.  I like being free to say and do what I like – without having to fit in to anyone else’s agenda or protocol.  And I have lost my fear.  Others cannot hurt me anymore in the same way.  Or silence me.  I have found myself.

And once I was satisfied with who that someone was – something great happened – the most truthful and honest me came out – I then began to evaluate my gifting according to what I had been equipped for and possess – and I began to sink into that work.

When I think about sinking into something – I think about my nice comfortable bed.  Settling in, making myself comfortable and staying a while.  In the same way – I am encouraged to settle in and make myself comfortable – stay for a while with the things and gifts that God has equipped and given to me.

Being an artist and musician – I love the next part of the verse.  I am instructed to do my ‘creative best’ with my own life – the responsibility rests inside of me.

Thank you Lord for creating me with unique abilities and gifts.  Help me find the courage to be myself – lose the fear of rejection, betrayal, and disregard from those who did not like – or did not agree – with who I am.  Help me find the freedom and safety in your warm and loving regard.  Knowing that you are smiling and cheering me on!  As I come closer and closer to being the one who you created with your purpose running through me.

With God’s help – I shall be myself.

 

God Bless

 

Another Year Of Celebration

Christmas in the post-War United States

Image via Wikipedia

Today is a two-year anniversary for my husband and me.  A very personal anniversary for us that started with an ordinary day – a much-needed phone call and participation in a wedding  – and ended up with a great loss, confusion  and many questions.

Time and distance has put new perspective on many things – including that day.  But sadly, not even the marriage that Greg performed on that fateful day – has lasted. It’s almost like the whole day was fated to just be  ‘one of those days’.

But memories linger anyway – and help us fill in the blanks where we are left to wonder – and left to fill  in the empty silent spots.  This can be dangerous – and not very accurate as I’ve recently found out – but sometimes – this is all we can do.  It is better to take the ‘no harm – no blame’ philosophy – rather than point fingers.  And there’s something about this season of the year – and the cold weather that reminds me once again.

And as the Grinch says to Cindy Lou Who in “The Grinch” – as they are speeding recklessly down the hill, ‘Even if we’re HORRIBLY mangled – there will be NO sad faces at Christmas‘.

And so that is exactly how we feel.  barely escaping being ‘horribly mangled‘ – we have gone on – dealt with loss and misunderstanding – and purposed to be our own people and have our own say in things – even when it was not popular to do so.  We’ve kept our unique perspective – and worked it out – our way.  And we won’t apologize for that.   And the way we look at it now after 2 years is this:   No harm done – lesson learned – and another year to celebrate God‘s goodness, protection and provision in our lives.

And so – here’s to another year of celebration.  We wave goodbye once again to the past, fear, ignorance and denial.  And we warmly embrace goodness, love, forgiveness and truth.

Happy Anniversary to us.  We made it. ♥

God Bless

King Of The Stupids!

Gingy

Image by r e n a t a via Flickr

In light of yesterday’s article – ‘Dumb is Temporary – Stupid is Forever’  – I thought I would include, for your watching amusement and pleasure – my favorite scenes from Shrek about my favorite character, ‘Gingy’.  My favorite line?  When Gingy says to ‘Charming’  – ‘The only thing you will ever be King of is KING OF THE STUPIDS!!’  I about fell out of my chair at the theater watching that scene and have NEVER forgotten it.  If you only knew how it applies to some people whom I know – you would laugh too!  And let’s face it – it’s much easier to laugh at it – I mean sometimes you can only fight stupidity with laughter.  Lots of laughter.

And so – it is with great joy – I present to you – scenes about ‘Gingy’ from Shrek.

Gingy – this is for you.

We Like Sheep

I am like a Sheep.  I am a Sheep.  And so are  you.

I find it interesting that of all the creatures on earth, Jesus compared us to sheep.  The first reason is clear – He took ordinary things in people’s lives and used them for illustration, to make His message understandable by the ordinary working class.  But there is also another reason.  Those that have worked with sheep and been with them for any length of time can testify that there is nothing quite so dumb as a sheep. The comparison is true.  It is speaking of you and me.

Sheep wander, they get lost, and believe it or not – they DO NOT LEARN.

It’s almost insulting to be compared to these hopelessly ridiculous creatures – and yet…

I am humbled by the words of Jesus.  And touched by His protection over me – just like a shepherd.  Protecting, leading and guiding.  Watching, hoping and believing that I’ll finally get it right.  All the while knowing that it is a stretch because I am a sheep. Hopelessly dumb – and constantly wandering and yes –  even getting lost.  I break away many times in my much-anticipated freedom – breaking off the restraints that hold me safe – only to find that I am more lost than ever before.  I blow it – get off track and wander even further away from His loving arms of protection – it is then that I realize – I am nothing without the lavish love of the Great Shepherd.  Will I ever get it right?  Will I ever learn?  And this is why – we need a Savior.  Jesus came to save His lost sheep.  It wasn’t enough that the lost were found – He loved them so much that He died for them.

Sheep-flock with shepherd.......

Image by Astrid Photography. via Flickr

Isaiah 53 (Message Bible)

We’re all like sheep who’ve wandered off and gotten lost.
We’ve all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we’ve done wrong, on him.

 

Who else do you know that loves you so much?  Would anyone you know really die for you?  How about someone you didn’t know?  How about then?  Is there anyone you can think  of that would do that?  This is exactly what Jesus did.  He died ‘while we were yet sinners’ still living far from Him – wandering around and doing our own thing – getting lost and messing it up – just like sheep.

Are you in need of a Shepherd today?  Call out His name – He’ll be there in a hurry to rescue you and to lovingly embrace you with His protective arms – keeping you on a safe path.  Stay close to Him and He will watch over you with a relentless love. Always.

 

God Bless

Do you want to be Right? Or Be Restored?

The Voice of a broken heart

Image by WolfS♡ul via Flickr

In the last few days – this is the article that has been viewed the most on my blog site. It’s one that I feel is often the culprit keeping friendships and people apart. What a wonderful world this would be if everyone would rather be reconciled – than be right.

Happy October 1st to all of you in ‘blog world’ and enjoy the article!

God Bless

Be kind to one another with a brother’s love, putting others before yourselves in honor    Romans 12:10 Hmmmmmm.  That is indeed the question.  Have you ever known anyone like this in your life?  As long as they’re right – and have the last word they are happy.  Well at least they feel like they’re happy. You see “being right” does not necessarily bring closure and restoration to an unresolved issue.  It can just create a wedge between people.  I … Read More

via Cindy Holman’s Blog

When Love Is Not Reciprocated

It is easy to be self-sacrificing in friendship when it is reciprocated

We’ve all been there. We have friendships that either ‘work’ or they don’t. People that come and go in our lives – and things we can’t understand. And like Bob Cratchit says in “A Muppet Christmas Carol” – ‘Life is full of meetings and partings’ – so true – but it is still hard to reconcile ourselves to that point sometimes.  I like the ‘meetings’ – but I’m NOT crazy about the ‘partings’.

Friendship in its most basic form is this:

Two hearts that are connected by a common unseen element – where love and respect is shared. Secrets are safe and trust is earned and kept. You know you will not be betrayed because they understand you – and you understand them. And you encourage each other – cheer each others accomplishments and hurt when they hurt.

My good friend Deanna said it best the other day – ‘a friend has no hidden agenda – a friend listens and loves’.

When you have a trusted friend – you don’t even mind carrying stress and burdens from them – especially when you know that they are doing the same for you. You know who the ‘real’ ones are. The ones who stick around – don’t get squeamish at the first signs of ‘trouble’ or ‘drama’. They are the ones who are able to ride it out – and they stay. Offering words of comfort and life – just the very thing we need at the time. They don’t do it for them – they do it for you.  They don’t judge or lecture – they just simply love.

But what happens when friends don’t understand? They seem to be judging – or they do and say something weird? For no reason?   Oh you know what I mean – something great happens to you – and they don’t cheer you on – but decide to go ‘silent’ on you.   Even when you always seem to be ‘cheering’ them on!   What happens when you don’t feel that things are ‘reciprocated‘? What then? When you’re worn out trying to figure out why trust was broken – and misunderstandings take place?  What happens when it isn’t possible to simply ‘talk it out’? When things are complicated and there is no trust or understanding any more? What then? And what happens when they disappear for no reason – at least not one that you can understand? And no explanation is offered? Someone who you just knew would be a friend forever. What do you do?  How do you react?

I don’t know about you – but I choose my friendships carefully. I have been known to give my trust away to wrong people and it has made me careful. But I am also aware that I have a memory like an elephant. Sometimes it’s a curse and not a blessing – and can easily make me ‘self protect’ rather than giving people a chance.

Jesus tells us that we need to love others as ourselves. We need to ‘turn the other cheek’ and to forgive many times – even if we don’t want to. Even if we don’t understand. Even when it is NOT reciprocated. Especially then. He instructs us to do this – not for them – but for us. There is healing in forgiveness – and a release that happens in our own heart – when we simply do this.

It is interesting to note – that in these times of rejection and hurt – in the silent treatment from a friend – or someone I thought was my friend – the powerful words of Jesus come back to me – and I come to realize that sometimes my love is a selfish kind of love.

A kind of love that says, “I will give – if you give back – I will show compassion – if you treat me right – I will cheer you on – only if you cheer me on – I will love you – when you earn my love.”

It is sobering. It is sad. And – it is true. For all of us. At the base of each of us – is an ugly selfish sinner – capable of terrible thoughts – wrong motives and hurtful agendas. We are hopelessly ‘prone to wander’. Our only hope is the love and grace of Jesus – given freely to all who will ask. On our own we mess it up pretty badly. Jesus knew we would. That’s why He came. To save us from ourselves. To clean us up and set us on the right path – even after we ‘blow it’ – even after things seem so hopelessly lost. Even when there is nothing else that we can do. It is then that He steps in and turns even the most hopeless situation – around. He does the work in our own hearts. He gets to the root of the problem. The problem is not everyone else – It starts with me.  OUCH!!

As I write this I am aware that I am struggling with my own ‘issues’ in my life – some that are resolved and some unfortunately – that are not and may never be. Some within my power to fix and others – out of my hands. It isn’t up to me. So I – hope and pray. And I work on me. Maybe some day – I will get it right.  With God’s help – I’m sure going to try – but I’m going to make mistakes – I’m going to get my feelings hurt – I’m going to self-protect and I’m going to accuse – because it feels better to blame – than to point the finger at myself.

I believe I need to have an attitude of true humility when reaching out to my friends – the ones I have in My life now and cherish – and my new friends that I haven’t even met yet. I need to expect that there are going to be times when I will not understand what is going on – and I’m going to try very hard to look into my own heart for hidden motives and agenda – instead of blaming others.  And when I do reach out to others I need to let my attitude toward them be an attitude of giving – without expecting anything in return. To love them unconditionally – just as Christ has loved me – no matter what. And if Christ can accept me – with all my flaws and imperfections – then I can also be free to love you – with no fear of rejection – and with no guarantee that your love will be reciprocated.

I also want to say – that although I love everyone – there are only certain ones that will be close friends – those that I will let into my confidences and my world.  And those that will do the same.  And those I will not.   And those  ‘others’ – either through something that has happened – or something unhealthy that I sense –  it is not wise to continue to heap on myself ’emotional’ abuse from them.  Those  that I thought at one time were my friends.  Sometimes I have to assigned them ‘an outer orbit’  – while continuing to love them as Jesus would.  And sometimes – I have to be okay with that – hard as it is.  And leave it there.

I want to appreciate life’s blessings – EVERY DAY – and the wonderful people who are in it. I want to know that I can be a giver – even when it is not returned to me. And when it is – I know I have found another good friend and ‘gift’ from God.  It’s like God smiling and whispering, ‘you’re finally getting it – now treat them right!’

And I’m happy to report that after living this long – I’m finally getting it – and I have many wonderful friends in my life who have all played such an important role on my continued journey.  Strong men and women who I am in daily communication with – who inspire me, lift me up and reciprocate friendship and love – in the most basic form.  I am blessed.  And I pray that you too – would be equally as blessed with a love that is reciprocated.

God Bless

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