Musings From A Musical Mind

Posts tagged ‘Children’

October Baby

Tomorrow you turn 22.  I remember this day so well, 22 years ago today.  A beautiful sunny crisp October day in Northern California, much like the day here in Seattle.  A day like any other.  The day before my life changed forever.

It’s funny how the seasons come and go – yet some things stay constant and perfectly formed in our memory.   Sometimes those moments that drastically change who we are forever are more clear to us than things that happened yesterday.

According to Dr. Phil, you can trace who you’ve become in this life to three types of external factors: 10 defining moments, seven critical choices, and five pivotal people. But first it’s important to understand the following terms:

Ten Defining Moments: In every person’s life, there have been moments, both positive and negative, that have defined and redefined who you are. Those events entered your consciousness with such power that they changed the very core of who and what you thought you were. A part of you was changed by those events, and caused you to define yourself, to some degree by your experience of that event.

Seven Critical Choices: There are a surprisingly small number of choices that rise to the level of life-changing ones. Critical choices are those that have changed your life, positively or negatively, and are major factors in determining who and what you will become. They are the choices that have affected your life up to today, and have set you on a path.

Five Pivotal People: These are the people who have left indelible impressions on your concept of self, and therefore, the life you live. They may be family members, friends or co-workers, and their influences can be either positive or negative. They are people who can determine whether you live consistently with your authentic self, or instead live a counterfeit life controlled by a fictional self that has crowded out who you really are.

 

As I reflect over those 10 defining moments of my own life – getting married and having each of my babies certainly ranks up there with the most important and most life changing.  No matter how old I am, or where life’s journey takes me – I am forever changed by the birth of Ashlee and you.  You are part of those seven critical choices and definitely one of my five pivotal people.

And so Shawn – it is with very sweet and sentimental memories that I remember today, the day before you.

09_27_4You made your entrance on October 5th, 1991 at 8:26 pm.  You filled up an entire room – even back then.  You were laid back, shy, sweet, calm and peaceful.  As you grew you developed a slow and steady manner and a great ability to make and keep friends.  Your sense of humor has sustained you even in the tough times of relationships and finding your own way.  Your deep faith in God continues to guide you and be your compass.  You are one of the things that forever changed me.

I could not have dreamed you up in a million years.  Shawn means “gift of God” and you were that for me.  It was a privilege to be your Mom and I am proud of who you are and all that I know you are still becoming.  It is in the letting go that we truly find.  And I have always known that you were on loan and that you would need to find your own way.  I’m so glad you are learning all those tough things while realizing your family loves and supports you in the background.  You are learning to rely on God’s help and have deepened your faith in those things that are really lasting and important.  Money, fame and even friends will come and go.  Love, family and faith in God lasts forever.  And I pray every day for that special young woman who will change your life forever.

Until you have finally found your stride and your place stay strong and firm in your faith.  You are loved and thought about each and every day.  You are special and have a special purpose.  Don’t give up, never lose heart – for a part of the end result is the journey you’re on right now.  And these times will be what you look back on as one of your defining moments.

I love you…Happy 22nd!

 

 

 

 

25 Years Ago Today

25 years ago today we were blessed with a baby girl, 7lbs 10oz – and we called her Ashlee Renee.

We have been so blessed by this little bundle of energy – and although 25 years ago we were living in a completely different place and were much younger things have not really changed that much.  We are still the same people we always were – except that this little baby changed our lives – forever.

We thought we were prepared for a baby.  No one is prepared – even with the planning and waiting (we waited 6 years), the financial security (or lack of it) and the books on babies and parenthood.  A baby simply changes your life.

We dressed her up – put pretty bows on her once bald head and tried to make every moment count.

But along with the joy of having a little doll to dress up – what most people don’t plan for is sickness, long nights and days with no sleep, a fussy eater, a baby who won’t sleep anywhere except her own bed and trips to the ER for croup.  At 10 months old Ashlee had complications from the flu with a high fever reaching 105 and had to be in the hospital.  These were the tough times of having a baby.

Still she has been a light and joy in our lives. Stealing away any sense of privacy and sanity – babies are the best things in life.

Here’s to you Ashlee – you’re not a baby anymore – but I still remember you as one. One of my favorite memories of you as a little girl was when you were a flower girl at age 3.

Now you are a grown woman with a wonderful husband and home of your own. And you still continue to bless us.

You are loved and always in our prayers.

Loosening My Firm Grip

Image representing iPhone as depicted in Crunc...

Image via CrunchBase

I was out taking a walk around the neighborhood yesterday, in one of those rare sunny and fairly “warmish” days.  I had my iPhone/iPod tunes coming through my ear buds and I was humming a happy little tune.

I turned a corner and walked toward a nearby park when all of a sudden the thought struck me:  What if I lost all this great music on my iPhone?  What if my computer had a melt-down and my WHOLE music library was GONE!  In an instant!

Well,  while this and other great thoughts invaded my mind along my walk – I had to ask myself, “would it really be a big deal? – I mean, come on – it’s just music, right?”

I had to admit that it would not be a huge deal.  An inconvenience for sure – but not the end of the world (as in what’s supposed to happen this Saturday – but that’s ANOTHER story).  No – my life and my world would continue on – I would just turn on my Pandora Radio and slowly rebuild my music library again – or just listen to CD’s and the radio in the car until I gathered my music once again over time.

Now while this is a silly example – I thought about the “things” I hold on to.  Those things that I feel ownership over.  The things that are mine.  My personal belongings, my pictures, my books, my computer, my piano, my blog articles and so on and so forth.  What if something happened to them?  Would I be Okay?  Would I survive?  If EVERYTHING was taken away from me tomorrow – would I really be able to make it?  Is my identity defined by all those things?  Would I really be lost without them?

No.  I would be Okay.  I choose to keep a loose grasp on my material blessings.  I can move, sell, sort and get rid of extra junk when I need to – and have in the past done several BIG MOVES across the country and back – to know that I am not defined by things.  I’ve witnessed several households of furniture come and go in 30 years of marriage and have not been devastated when the time came to unload it – or lighten our load.

I believe there is a principle in this for not only the material “things” – but I believe we should be willing to let go of our firm grip when it comes to the people in our lives – even if we don’t want to.  I was determined when raising our two children, that I was NOT going to be one of those mom’s who couldn’t bear to let my kids grow up, change and become independent from me.  It is perfectly normal for them to need me less and less as they mature – and to someday be fully developed and have their own life – apart from me.

Our children are only on loan to us.  I don’t believe there are any accidents.  God knows what He is doing – and He gave me my children to love and raise.  I do not OWN them.  And when I have invested into them everything I can – (not always in the most perfect way – but with the best intentions),  I can release them, knowing that they are individuals who must answer to God for themselves – they are no longer my responsibility.

Many parents become unhappy when their grown-up children do not need them anymore – when it is very normal and natural that they should NOT need us anymore when they are mature.  Some are bewildered because they feel they lose their control over their children and even try forms of manipulation and even guilt to keep them young – while imposing their need and dreams of the “good old days”.  While this is natural because of the time investment spent in them – it should not be used as a method of control towards our children.  They are given to us – they really belong to God.  It is important to raise our children “in the way they should go”  and then let them go – loosen the grip – release them in love.  Even if we don’t always agree.  Pray for them – and then trust God.

And though I am far from perfect as a mom – I have always tried to let my own grown-up children lead their own lives.  I feel like Greg and I did everything we could do while they were living in our home – and we tried to set a godly example for them while growing up – through good and bad, happy and sad times.

The secret is to have a “loose grip” on the things and people that we don’t feel we can let go.  Have a firm grip on God – and teach your children to do the same.  He will make His plans known to them – and He is ultimately responsible for their journey – when they allow Him to guide their steps.  This is so freeing to me as a parent and I know it will be to you too.  This will lead to a happy life – full of deep joy with no regret.

How’s your grip?  Do you feel it tightening around things you can’t bear to lose?  Can you just relax and trust?  How do you apply a “loose grip” to your own situations?

God Bless

Preparing for Absence

Greg and I are on the verge of launching our baby out into the world.  The count down has begun – he leaves for California next month.

And while we have really been “Empty Nesters”  for a while – you know what I mean – daughter Ashlee moved out 3 years ago – and from the moment Shawn had a driver’s license (on his 16th birthday) – we didn’t see much of him after that.  People think I’m kidding when I say that Shawn eats and sleeps here – sometimes.  It’s absolutely true.  It is still going to be an adjustment around here.

We have plans after Shawn leaves next month.  We are going to go into his room with gloves on and several garbage bags and begin the grueling process of fumigation and bringing normal back into chaos – the room of a teenage boy.

My car that Shawn has taken possession of the last 3 years – will once again be MINE!  A little worse for wear – but still paid for and MINE!  Did I mention that the car is MINE?  Just in case you are confused in that matter – I know that I have been.  Oh you know what I mean – you have a conversation with your teenager and you end up leaving the room muttering someone non-coherent like, “I’m right – I KNOW I am” as you feel all reality slipping from your fragile grasp.  So when I say I was confused – I really mean it.

We plan to clean the inside and outside of MY car – and fumigate it – so that it does NOT smell like a boy’s locker room.  My CD’s will finally be right where I left them – there will be no sticky stuff in the cup holder and on the seats – there will not be wrappers and other junk in MY car.  It will be left in pristine condition – just as I always have left it – BEFORE my son got his license and decided to take ownership.

We will have quiet at night when we turn in.  No more yelling or calling Shawn on the phone to get him to TURN DOWN the TV that we can hear in our bedroom.  No more late night cooking food and smelling it wafting upstairs where we are trying to sleep.  No more late showers and running water FOREVER next to our bedroom.  No more talking on the phone in the middle of the night – or hopping up the stairs and slamming doors (because he always forgets) – to wake us up.  None of that – just peaceful, blissful quiet.

Yes – we are preparing for absence – just as much as Shawn is anxious to be out on his own.  We worry just a little about how he will pay his bills – and survive out there – but we also realize that it is a part of his growing up – to be out on his own and figure it out.

I hope we have prepared him.  He is very grounded and mature for almost 20 – and most of all – he is a loving, kind and generous person – full of talent, laughter and fun – has many friends and has always landed on his feet – through rough times and setbacks.  I’m proud of him and can’t wait to see what God has next for him – as he discovers his own place in this world.  God has equipped him with a love for music and a talent that is his special gift – I’m excited to see how God will use that in him.

And so as we prepare – with a little over a month to go – we know we are also ready.

And there’s always iChat and Skype, right?

God Bless

The Baby Magnet

A young girl kisses a baby on the cheek.

Image via Wikipedia

I have always LOVED babies.  I remember being about 10 and begging to help take care of them in the nursery at the little church our family was attending.  It was a little young – but if there was an adult there, usually they would let me help from time to time.  I have always loved how babies smell – like powder and sweetness.  And how I could rock them and stop their crying.  There was a precious baby boy named Nathan that I was in love with.  Big brown eyes and curly dark hair.  He would look for me on Sunday morning and I couldn’t wait to hold him.  It’s amazing to me to think that this ‘baby’ that I cuddled and rocked is now about 40 years old!  Ugh.

The ‘baby’ phase disappeared over time and as I grew up I developed new interests and became busy.  I married young and wasn’t ready to even to consider having babies of my own – until we had been married about 5 years.  We had been married 6 years when baby Ashlee was born – and then 4 years later – our baby Shawn was born.  They were quite enough baby for me – there’s nothing quite like your own child in your arms.

But children and babies have always liked me.  I smile and pay attention to them – and children LOVE that.  I think that’s why I have always had success teaching young children – because I genuinely like them – and they can tell!

The other day I was waiting for my appointment at the Chiropractor’s office.  There was a nice young couple there with a baby, one year old – complete with a cute little dress, shoes and braids in her hair.  She was sitting on the lap of her father, and she spotted me and I smiled at her.  She was one of those really pretty babies with the big eyes.  She squirmed and tried to get away from her father.  He held her fast, even when she struggled and tried to go.  After a while he handed her to her mother and she tried in vain to distract the child and stop her from whining and wanting to get away.  Finally they could not detain her anymore and let her carefully walk around the coffee table, all the time staring right at me – in an attempt to come over to me.  She would not be dissuaded – but kept coming until she had finally reached me and then, would you believe it, she actually crawled up into my lap?! I’ve never witnessed anything like it before!  She was not shy at all – but kept looking at me and wanting to be held.  She even put her little head on my chest and did NOT want to be parted from me.  It was really something.  Her parents did not appear to speak much English – but clearly they were amazed too.  I managed to find out the baby’s name and how old she was – before they called me for my appointment.  Getting up I  handed her to her mother and this was not received well at all – she fussed and cried!  I was really amazed by this display of affection.  I guess you’ll just have to call me a ‘baby magnet’.  🙂

But although I really like babies and children I can safely say, no more babies for me, thank you very much – but I will really enjoy being a Grandma someday – especially because I know that it will be okay – they seem to like me.  And no I don’t think I like the word ‘Grandma’ – it sounds old – and I AM NOT!  I think I prefer ‘MiMi’ instead 🙂

 

So bring on the babies – they can sit in my lap and I will coo and fuss over them.  Just make sure you DON’T call me Grandma.

 

God Bless

Beautiful Music

Music makes one feel so romantic – at least it always gets on one’s nerves – which is the same thing nowadays.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Music is the language of the heart.  No one knows for sure why we connect to certain styles or songs – but one thing is for certain:  Everyone has a certain style of music that speaks and moves them.  One style can be just ‘noise’ to one person – and a beloved ballad to another.  Music can be annoying to some – and greatly appreciated by another.

I was raised on classical music – it played in my home growing up – night and day.  After a steady diet of this for 20 years of my life – I would have to say that I have an appreciation for classical – but it is not what I listen to when I relax.  I have always liked and responded to ‘pop’ music of my generation – the 70’s and it is still my favorite genre of music – by far even though I have an appreciation for other styles.  I would listen to my transistor radio or cassette tapes in my tape recorder at night before going to bed.  I was also a song writer and my ‘style’ of music on the piano was in a ballad form – or what you might call ‘easy listening’ today.  Music has to evoke an emotional response from me in order to be good – and it usually has something to do with the chord progression or lyrics – or both.  Movie soundtracks are also my favorite for relaxing and one of the best musical scores in my opinion is from the movie “Meet Joe Black”.  I also love the soundtrack from “To Kill a Mockingbird” – these are both noteworthy in my opinion and brilliant.

I like to think I am extremely tolerant of any kind of music – even though I’m sure my own children think I am not.  That’s pretty typical.  But since they know I appreciate any style of music if it’s good – they are quick to share their music with me.  Shawn loves to play ‘his music’ for me in the car – going quickly to a song he feels I will like – and usually he is right.  I don’t like everything he likes – but there are certain songs from bands he likes – that he knows I will be able to appreciate and give positive feedback to.  I think it helps him to feel better about his music in some weird twisted way ☺

About a year and a half ago –  he was driving me to a Chiropractor’s appointment and he played me the song below, “Amsterdam” from Coldplay. Now crazy as it sounds – it really moved me.  I remember it was raining and dark and this song played in the car and we drove in complete hushed silence.  It was one of those moments I will never forget.  A bonding moment with this song playing – just me and my son.  It was pretty emotional – I was going through a rough time that fall – and it meant a lot to me that Shawn actually seemed to ‘get it’ and find something he knew I would connect with.

The other day Shawn drove me to a wedding and he again pulled out this song and it brought back such memories of that day for both of us.  Imagine?  Two people from two entirely different generations – actually agreeing on and liking the same song – and the same band.  Crazy right?  Actually – Shawn likes classic rock from the 70’s too – so that’s always been the way we’ve been able to connect with music over the years.  I think it’s really great.  And because I have tolerance for his music and he with mine – we’ve been able to agree on many things over the years.  It is wonderful to know that he is a much sought after musician in his church on both drums and guitar and that he can appreciate music of all styles too.  I am very proud when I hear songs that he has written and recorded on the guitar – mixed in a studio – and they sound just like something you’d hear on the radio!  In fact when doing my own music ‘mix’ a few months ago – I accidentally added a song he had written – thinking it was a great song from “Angels and Airways” or something.  He saw that I had added it and said, “Mom – did you know that is the song I wrote”?  Ha!  No I didn’t! – but it was really good and that’s why I choose it for my CD mix.

Music – it’s a crazy thing – one man’s ‘noise’ is another one’s ‘bliss’ – and it’s nice to know that good music – is still good music – no matter what generation it is produced.  There are classics that have and will stand the test of time because they are well written – from the heart.

Do you have something that ‘moves you’?  We all do – and it’s nice to know that we are all different in our likes and dislikes – and yet the human element of music is still there – touching and affecting our lives – evoking good and bad memories – but most of all – deeply moving us.

Here’s to beautiful music – and not just annoying ‘noise’ in your world tonight.

God Bless

Come on, oh my star is fading
I swerve out of control
If I, If I'd only waited
I'd not be stuck here in this hole.

Come here, oh my star is fading
And I swerve out of control
And I swear I waited and waited
I've got to get out of this hole

But time, is on your side
It's on your side, now
Not pushing you down
And all around
It's no cause for concern..

Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see, no chance of release
And I know I'm dead on the surface
But I'm screaming underneath

And time is on your side
It's on your side, now
Not pushing you down
And all around
Oh, It's no cause for concern

Stuck on the end of this ball and chain
And I'm on my way back down.

Stood on the edge
Tied to a noose
Sick to the stomach
You can say what you mean
But it won't change a sin
I'm sick of the secrets
Stood on the edge, tied to a noose
and you came along but you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose

Laughter, Throw up and Other Mysteries

Today is the 30th anniversary of Mt. St. Helen’s blowing its top – and it got me thinking about ‘back in the day’. Different events that ‘mark’ our lives and the passage of time.

Nothing does that quite like your own children. Parents have that wonderful ability to ‘remember’ all the important ‘rites of passage’ and the other mysteries that go with raising children. When your children are little it is hard to see that ‘one day’ you will look back with fondness and even get a few wonderful and juicy little stories out of the experience. We’ve had several for both our children – but none quite like our daughter. I suppose it is because she is our first-born and our ‘experimental’ child – but she just seems to have WAY more hilarious stories than our son does. I think it may have something to do with her black and white personality and her feisty sense of humor – even as a small child she would have me in fits of laughter – so much so that I would literally have to pull the car over on more than one occasion to just ROAR with laughter!

But for years there was so much more than just laughter with our children. We had a span of about 5 years where we couldn’t go ANYWHERE without one or both of our children sick on a trip – especially the airplane – and I mean SICK – you know the ‘throw up’ sick. We really felt that we were cursed on more than one occasion.

It started when Ashlee was a year old and we had just resigned a youth pastor position in New Castle PA – and were moving to Seattle temporarily while looking for another ministry position. We decided it would be easier on Ashlee and me if the two of us flew and Daddy drove the moving van cross-country alone. He could go faster without a wife and baby holding him back – and I could get the baby there in a matter of hours rather than days. It seemed the perfect plan. But we drove from New Castle into Ohio and couldn’t find the airport – and we were running late. In fact when we did find the airport – Greg had to let us out at the curb and watch us go running in to the gate and had to RUN down a long corridor (with a carry on bag and a baby) to catch the small plane that was outside engines started and ready to go. Well I’m afraid little Ashlee couldn’t take the “jostling” around too much and when we were safely up in the air she proceeded to throw up all over ME. Well it was lovely.  And when we got off in Chicago to change planes – I again had to almost RUN to catch the flight – barely had time to take Ashlee into the bathroom and try to clean up the mess.  Oh my – it was something – and I smelled like throw up for the next 5 hours or so on the plane to Seattle.  Luckily Ashlee slept almost the entire way.  I don’t ever want to relive that experience.  When we got there – I just remember handing Ashlee to my Mom and collapsing.

When Ashlee was about 18 months or so – we were pastoring a small church in Fortuna, CA  – and we were at the mall in Eureka.  We had just fed her a cookie and she was smiling and riding on her Daddy’s shoulders.  All of a sudden Greg said he heard a BURP coming from Ashlee and before he knew what that really meant – it was too late and she threw up all over him – in a descending pattern – down the top of his head and pouring down over his shoulders and chest.  It was lovely. We were in a public place.  Greg hates any attention being drawn to him – especially attention like THAT.  Now you aren’t going to believe this – because after all – I AM a nurturer by nature – a huggy, kissy sort of person – for all of you who know me.  But at that moment in time seeing this scene unfold before me – I thought it was the most HILARIOUS  thing I had ever seen!!  I couldn’t control myself for laughing HYSTERICALLY!!!  Needless to say, Greg didn’t appreciate my humor – sometimes he still doesn’t get it – but hey – it was funny.  Some wonderful ladies in a hair salon saw his distress and my laughter – and quickly came out with several towels to help poor Greg – with the throw up all over his face.  Oh my.  I wish I had had my camera on me – my iPhone would have come in very handy back then.  Those kind of moments are priceless.

I wish I could say that was the only time Ashlee ever threw up on me or her Dad – but sadly – it is not.  She had projectile vomiting as an infant too – so you think you have ‘throw up’ stories?  HA!  I don’t think so!  I will challenge you on it for sure!

Have a wonderful day!

God Bless

Tag Cloud

diana iannarone

Wake Up. Stand Up. Live Free. A Perceptual Approach to Rapid Growth and Permanent Change

Fallen Pastor

Helping fallen pastors and those affected by a fall from ministry

The Mind of RD REVILO

Conscious Thought: Driven by Intelligent Awareness

The Devotion Cafe'

Love and Empowerment is the Foundation

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band

⃟ What a strange world we live in... ⃟

Poems & People

what if poems could be symphonies, and people their orchestra?

The Fickle Heartbeat

A blog about love or lack thereof

knitting soul

turning the knots into something beautiful

Kristi Ann's Haven

Jesus ( Yeshua) Saves!!

PROJECT: A Journal for Project Management

Project is a journal for project managers to express their ideas and share their work through writing, conversation, design and image

The Light Post

Scott & Christina Graff

Natalie Breuer

Natalie. Writer. Photographer. Etc.

iwedplanner wedding vendors

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

Granny Smith: Unleashed

Observations and random thoughts from a "not so teenager."

meganelizabethmorales

MANNERS MAKETH MAN, LOST BOYS FAN & PERPETAUL CREATIVITY.

The Life Project

Finding Clear and Simple Faith

Humanity777's Blog

The Church of Christ

lostcompanion

Alcoholism

Brendan Cole - Writer

Musings On Life and Other Minutiae

Chickens Bring Peace to the Earth

Slow down, pray, make better choices

incomingfeed.wordpress.com/

Feed Only via TSS Team

generaliregi

Romance of Five Clouds and Magical Poetry

FOGwalkerBirdie

Walking in the Favor Of God

PROPEL STEPS

Education is Everything

GIFT FROM THE HEART - Share and Care!

Appreciation, Respect and Gratitude towards all...... that there is!

Upside DIY

Born from the love of, "Do It Yourself" attitude!

Soul Access

LAY DOWN YOUR MASK AND BE KNOWN BELOVED

Traveling with Thomas

Follow me as I study in London and travel Europe

HarsH ReaLiTy

A Good Blog is Hard to Find

Mercy Not Sacrifice

The Blog of Morgan Guyton

Life Confusions

"I Will Find Words, Smith them Down. For Love Is Infinite And So Are They."

ann johnson-murphree

Artist, Writer of Confessional Free Verse Poetry and Fiction

Stealing Kisses & Making Mistakes.

Following God's path while stumbling through this world with a heart of a woman.

Gotta Find a Home

Conversations with Street People

Ed Mooney Photography

The home of Kildare based Photographer, Blogger and self proclaimed Ruinhunter.

MyCreativeHaven

”Art washes from the soul the dust of everyday life.” -- Picasso.

gabrielsfury

poems & stories, thoughts about people and places between moments of clarity, or not.

Grow up proper

A raw view on life

A Blumes With a View

Putting the "blah" in blog!!

Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas

** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **

%d bloggers like this: