This is an article I wrote a couple of years ago and thought I would repost it today. It is still applicable in my life today – as I am still learning and on a journey of self discovery.
Be kind to one another with a brother’s love, putting others before yourselves in honor Romans 12:10
That is indeed the question. Have you ever known anyone like this in your life? As long as they’re right – and have the last word they are happy. Well at least they feel like they’re happy.
You see “being right” does not necessarily bring closure and restoration to an unresolved issue. It can just create a wedge between people. I’ve had to back down on things myself over the years – even when I knew I was right. Relationships with people in our lives are way more important than arguing over the finer points – the “he said – she said” games could go on forever – if we allow it.
Being right is an “attitude”. And when you are in the people restoring business – you sometimes have to put this “attitude” aside. It can blind you and cause everything from a past or present situation to have a certain “slant” – as you can only see things one way. The right way. Your way.
I would submit to you – that there are ALWAYS two sides to a story and situation in life. Because people are different and rarely look at things the same way.
It comes down to this: how much do you value relationships in your life? Do people mean something to you – even if they mess up? Do you say, “They hurt me – they messed up – I am so disillusioned and can’t forgive them – I know I am RIGHT” I know I have. Why? Because I love to be right. And so do you. People hurt me – have hurt me – will continue to hurt me in the future. What do I do with this??? Bristle and pull in – never allow anyone near me again?? Argue and argue?? Even bring in a few other people to hear my point of view – so they can tell me how right I am too? That would be silly. But people do this. I have been guilty of doing this myself. It IS easier to be right. Way easier. But NO. I love people. I have decided that I will not do this anymore. It means holding my tongue. It means submitting. It means MY story may never be told. And just how “right” I am – will never be known. My friends are more valuable to me than being “right”.
Being restored is the right thing to do – it’s also the hardest. Why? Because we have to humble ourselves – admit that we are not always right. We have to face the truth about ourselves. We have to face the ones that hurt us. We have to come to grips with the “eye ball – to eye ball” encounter from the one that hurt us most. No burying it under the carpet – no running and hiding – no refusing to revisit it – but really facing it. Accept that we are not perfect either. Ouch!!! Facing something head on that’s very hard – takes a real Man or Woman.
My husband just recently had to face a situation where he could have taken the position of “being right” or “being restored” and he chose the later. He chose wisely. And I know that God will bless his life because of this. He is free because of it. It’s caused us to really have great discussion. Being right – or being restored.
Which one are you? Do you stubbornly “hold on” to your opinion – a never ending “blame game”? Stunted and bound up by your own “principles” and “ideals” about people? Is being “right” more important than anything else or anyone else? Or are you a lover of people? Do you have grace for people in your life to “mess up”? Do you “allow” for others to “mess up” – do you have the capacity to understand it? Do you constantly “cite” examples of how you are so right – and they are so wrong? Are you free of sin in your own life? Can you honestly see things from another perspective? Reach and restore – forgive and don’t care who’s right or wrong? Can you put your own feelings aside – and prefer other people? Are you Christ like? Do you just ooze with love and mercy. Are your friends that important to you?
Jesus is the great “restorer”. He desires health and happiness for you today. He is the only one that can truly bring people together – melt the heart – bring you to your knees and do the deep work in your life. If you are in a “situation” now that is unresolved – ask the Lord to “melt your heart” – help you to see things another way – ask Him to help you forgive and love the ones that have hurt you so deeply. Make that step toward reconciliation – don’t wait for them. Believe that He has a testimony in this “situation” for you some day – health, encouragement and healing for someone else.
Be restored. Love people. You will be a more blessed and happier person.
In what ways would you rather be right, then be restored? Is being right more important than having relationship with others? Do you know anyone like this?
Praying for you today.