Musings From A Musical Mind

Posts tagged ‘flaws’

The Flaw In My Expectation

For some time now I have experimented with an idea.  The idea is this:  Leave my pajama pants on my chair at night instead of putting them away on the shelf.  The reason being that in the morning they will be handy for me.  But it seems that through the years (at least what I can remember) I almost, if not all the time when I anticipate the next morning’s activities – something happens to that plan.  The clothes I put out are not needed – or I have simply changed my mind.


Expectation (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Now this seems like a silly thing to write about.  It certainly is not earth-shaking – and will not catch anyone’s attention for being the best article I’ve ever written, but it is curious.  Is there a flaw within my well laid plans?  Can preparing for such a small thing really mess me up?  Should we plan for something so small?

I remember the countless times I would lay out my work-out clothes in anticipation of that early morning walk, or have just the right outfit laid out to put on after my shower.  Then something happens:  I am not able to take my walk that morning and must adjust, putting away the work-out clothes – or needing a different outfit which leads to putting away the right outfit for later.

Does this ever happen to you?  When was the last time you planned for something – only to have something else creep in?  Does it baffle and frustrate you too?

It happened again yesterday – and was so baffling I decided to write about it.  There they were – my pajama pants, on the chair – like an old friend – ready for me.  But like so many other days before this one – I had to wear something different, and I can’t even remember why!  Like a sad reminder of my flightiness – there they were last night as I was getting ready to “dress down” for the evening.  I looked at them and thought to myself, “what happened again that I could not use the very thing I set out?”

There seems to be a flaw in my expectation.  Nothing major – but still a flaw.  What about the countless times I do not put them on the chair?  I still go to them in the morning and wear them.  Is it the chair?  (Like in the movie, “Apollo 13” – when the little boy learns why the first Apollo shuttle had a fire and killed the three men aboard,  knowing his dad is in space and in real trouble, he asks his mom, – ‘was it the door?'”  No I don’t believe there is anything to that – but still it does puzzle me.

The “flaw” may be that my expectation is not realistic to the next morning’s reality.  How many times has this happened?  You would think that I would learn this:  let the morning be the morning, without any help from me.  Live high on surprise.  Be prepared for anything – and be ready to accept and adjust accordingly.

Therefore – I will not be putting clothes on the chair anymore.  Life is too short to plan it out.  I need to let things happen as they will – and be happy with that.

Amen and God Bless




Reflections in the Glass

Mirrored self-misidentification

Image by eqqman via Flickr

Windows are designed to look through.  Especially in the daytime – and we don’t notice the flaws, imperfections and plain DIRT on them unless the light hits them a certain way.  Clear enough most of the time to look through them at others.   We don’t notice the flaws until the light is just right – or when there is an absence of light.  And when the angle and light is just right – we are able to see our own reflection in that glass.  And glance at our own imperfections.  It is sobering.  It is humiliating.  But it is also  necessary.  Sometimes I get so focused on the ‘out there’ past the flawed glass – that I don’t notice what’s up close and personal – like my flawed reflection.  The real me. It is easy to take my attention off of me – and on to other people – silently criticizing or rebuking in my thoughts – and sometimes voicing them, spreading hurt, distrust and disillusionment around in a way that cannot be fixed.  Anything to hide my insecurity and my flaws.

The Bible talks about this kind of judgment  in the book of Matthew chapter 7:

3“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Take care of your own reflection, my friends.  Clean the dirt from your window – then you will see clearly to  remove the plank from your eyes.  Then gently, very gently go to your brother or sister and ask for  permission to remove the speck of dust from their eye.  Remember that those you have heavily criticized – for having many flaws – you also have many of the same flaws and MANY more that they don’t.  You can be sure that with the same lack of grace and mercy you have judged – you will also be judged.

I want my plank out for good.  I want to see through my window knowing that I can see others with an unselfish and pure motive – free of any hidden agenda.  To see them as Jesus sees them – and how Jesus sees me.

God Bless

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