Musings From A Musical Mind

Posts tagged ‘husband’

Are Tears Healthy?

The Lost Valentine

The Lost Valentine (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yesterday I watched two very sad things on TV that I had recorded earlier.  One was a movie I had seen a few years back starring Betty White called “The Lost Valentine“.  Not sure if the movie is based in fact – but it could have been.  The premise:  A young married couple during WWII,  the husband called away for duty.  She gets a telegram saying her husband is missing in action.  For over 60 years.  A young female television reporter hears about the story and becomes curious.  After interviewing the elderly woman who has never had any other word from her husband or the war department after that fateful day of the telegram, the young woman sets about to do some investigating.  Through a series of events and a lot of digging she finds a man who was with the missing man in the jungle across the sea, during his last days.  Through a Skype call to the widow – he is able to tell her what happened to her husband all those years ago.  He was a hero.  He could have come home – but wanted a man more seriously injured than himself to be allowed to go first.  There was only room for one man.  He stays and helps those men there in the jungle – gets caught in a cross-fire and is shot and killed.

What a relief to finally hear.  It’s the not knowing that will kill you.  They confirm the remains of her husband and in true pomp “military style” they bring him home and parade him past his widow.  That scene is very moving.  I did not expect the flood of tears – but they came anyway.

If that was not sad enough, last night we watched “Downton Abbey“.  The episode was very sad as well.  In the days before C-sections, mothers and babies were often lost due to serious complications.  Seeing the youngest daughter die after delivering her baby with something called eclampsia from toxemia was very hard to watch.  And might have been prevented if they had taken their doctor’s advice to have her moved to a hospital and have immediate removal of the baby.  In the early part of the last century – it was not something that was done very often – and people simply did not trust hospitals because of sickness and possible infection.  Oh my.  Things that are prevented today with proper medication and hospitals.

My own maternal grandmother lost her first baby while delivering at home and too far from a hospital when a serious issue came up.  Today this would not have happened.

I cried so much yesterday because of these two very sad things.  Of course my lack of sleep (we have a new 5 month old puppy that we rescued) might have contributed to my general feeling of sadness.  But I have heard that tears are healthy.  It’s great to have a “good cry” once in a while.  It resets the switches and cleans out the toxins.  I have always wondered about this – as the only thing it seems to do for me is give me bags under my eyes and a whopping good headache!

What about you?  Ever had a good cleansing cry?  Did you feel better or worse?  Do you feel that it is healthier just getting it out?

Not sure about me – but I have always been emotional and prone to tear up.  Sometimes I wish this was not so – it tends to happen at the most undesirable times!

Here’s hoping you have that good healthy release of emotions and toxins in your body today!  Maybe a good cry?

God Bless

A Note From My Husband

On the occasion of my milestone birthday – I asked my wonderful husband and best friend to be a special ‘guest blogger’ today.  Hope you enjoy and will be encouraged as you read his note to me –  that even after almost 30 years together – he still is romantic and knows how to keep the love alive.

God Bless

To my lovely wife Cindy on her special 50th birthday;

Good morning my love!  I trust you had a wonderful sleep.  I was watching you this morning just before you opened your eyes and thinking about how thankful I was to have the love of such a beautiful woman in my life.  Funny how so many put an emphasis on youthful looks these days and fight frantically to somehow attempt “time travel” to spin the biological clock backwards.  I loved it when we saw the title of a new book recently, “fifty is the new fifty” – it garnered a laugh from both of us, but even without reading the book we understand the sentiment.  Being authentic to yourself and your life experiences, being comfortable in your own skin, is a large part of remaining beautiful; a glow that comes from within and radiates outward.

Cindy, you are beautiful, both inside and outside.  You not only are an extremely attractive woman physically (insert tiger growl here), but you are true and authentic to your core values, which is what makes you irresistible.  In this way you have become more gorgeous to me over time.  I love it how you are passionately interested in how others feel and think, and have an uncanny way of connecting to them, especially in their time of need.

This year we will celebrate our thirtieth wedding anniversary.  We have seen much of life and have weathered both good and challenging seasons together – more and more I see in you a beauty and strength that I both admire and envy; a depth that time has only served to reveal and prove.

There’s a section of 1 Peter chapter 3 that echo these very values that I love about you.  It describes a woman of uncompromising beauty, and where lasting attractiveness comes from;

3 “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self,5 the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.6 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God7 used to make themselves beautiful.”

Cindy my love, this “milestone birthday” (at least that’s what we call the ones that end in a “0”) is simply another occasion that displays what those who really know you already have been celebrating; your authentic love for others, emotional balance, and spiritual centeredness.  This is what makes you attractive to others and to me.

And, you’re just plain hot looking!

Happy birthday my love!

Greg

Adventures with Mrs. Frantic (Alias: Mrs. Grumpy)

My upper and lower wisdom teeth, just extracted.

Image via Wikipedia

This Saturday our 19-year-old son is having his impacted wisdom teeth removed.  And because I’m a glutton for punishment and have unresolved memories of the past – I’m going with him.  I say this because when my husband and I were newlyweds and still attending Northwest University (the former Northwest College) Greg had his impacted wisdom teeth out – all four of them.   Now just WHY he didn’t have them out before college OR before we were married – is a mystery to me – along with other mysteries of the universe.  *sigh*

I remember it well – even though it was some 28 years ago.  Greg was done with all his finals for that semester and scheduled his appointment accordingly.  However, I still had two finals to take.  We thought – no problem – I can just study while I wait for him to have the procedure done.  We arrived early in the day and as soon as we got there – Greg was whisked away behind closed doors of the Oral Surgeon‘s office in Bellevue – just a few miles from where we lived.

Because the teeth (all four of them) were impacted – they had to put him under with a general anesthetic.  The actual procedure was pretty short – but the recovery was long.

It seemed like I was in that waiting room for a long time.  The longer it took the more I couldn’t concentrate anymore – and was feeling a little anxious.  After what seemed like hours – I finally heard someone from behind closed doors – ‘hiccuping‘ – VERY LOUDLY.  I remember thinking, ‘how rude’.  But it persisted – and a nurse finally came out and asked me to come back.

I followed the loud ‘hiccuping’ sounds to a recovery room – and there was my husband – sitting up and being VERY LOUD!  If you know Greg – he is a very soft-spoken, kind and gentle man – does NOT like to draw attention to himself AT ALL and would rather die than to be obnoxious IN PUBLIC.  And yet – here he was – my inebriated husband – like he had a ‘snoot-full’. And VERY pleased with himself!

Well, because I had NEVER seen my husband drunk – much less TAKE A DRINK – it was really quite amusing and horrifying at the same time!  I became quite frantic – as a nurse and myself tried to help Greg out to the car – now pulled around to a side door.  They had given him a little bag to hold in case – well YOU KNOW – and he used it – often – while walking to the car – and after getting in.

I must admit – it put me in a state of panic.  The medical staff didn’t even bat an eye – perfectly normal they told me.  Really? What’s normal – a drunk husband holding a bag on his lap?  What a sick world.

So I’m now ‘driving’ in my state of frantic/panic.  I somehow managed to get on the freeway – don’t know how and then forgot how to get home.  I should mention that we were house-sitting that week for a missionary lady in another part of Kirkland where we were living at the time.  I had never driven there before – Greg always drove.  I had NO IDEA how to get ‘home’.  So naturally I sailed right by the right exit.  As I did – Greg looked up from his drunken stupor – with his head in the bag and like the ‘ghost of Christmas future‘ – just pointed out the window as the exit quickly disappeared from sight.

Well I finally found a place to turn around and somehow got us home.  He was pretty bad for the next 24 hours or so – couldn’t hold down anything – it was bad.  I had to have my mother come ‘sit’ with him – so I could go take a couple of finals.  I have no memory of taking them – and one I barely passed. Lesson learned.

When we could take the vomiting and over-all ‘green’ completion NO more – I called the doctor – who at first thought that Greg may have picked up a flu bug.  But the more it persisted they started digging into family history – and discovered that Greg was allergic to the anesthetic given him – as he had a persistent battle when he was a child with motion sickness.  This explained everything to the doctor and to us too – we were really worried.  But as the medication ran through his body and wore off – he was fine.

So here I am again.  28 years later.  I’m not sure why I’m the one elected to go with our son this Saturday to do this all over again. I’m sure waiting in the waiting room while our son is whisked off behind closed doors is going to feel a little like deja’ vu.  And when he comes out of it – am I going to hear the same thing before I see him – like father – like son?  I am going to be the designated driver – because if he is going to be a drunk like his father after having the anesthetic – then I should be there.   Someone has to.  And I have a little experience with this.  Sure hope I can find my way home. 🙂

God Bless

The Queen Has Spoken

Queen's crown

Image by Sunfox via Flickr

Yes.  I am the Queen.  At least in my own home.  I’m sure no one else would grant me this distinction – but my family has no choice in the matter – and it really is true what they say, ‘If Momma ain’t happy – ain’t NOBODY happy’.  So they let me be the Queen.

Unfortunately it is in name only – as I’ve been loathe to discover, especially as of late.  The other day my car key just mysteriously disappeared off my key ring.  It couldn’t have happened at a more inconvenient time either – as my daughter and I were about to go somewhere and were under some serious time pressure.  My 19-year-old son, lost his keys somewhere at church – and ever since that happened he has been ‘borrowing’ our keys.  Now the question that I have to ask is this:  ‘why can’t he go make himself another set of keys?’  But that would be way too simple.  And we’re talking about someone who is 19.  So I ‘borrowed’ my husband’s car key for MY CAR and away we went – we couldn’t wait for Shawn to come home and give me my key.  But I was REALLY UPSET and told him he would have to deal with his father – I was OUT!  I told Greg to kill the boy and then pry my car key out of his cold dead fingers.  Greg texted back that he had buried him in a shallow grave in the backyard and that my key was safely on the counter waiting for me when I got home 🙂

Remember last year when I wrote that my car charger was missing out of MY car?  And when my son (18 years old at the time of the inquiry) came in the door – I confronted him with, ‘Where is my car charger??  You know – the one in MY CAR – that belongs to me??’  And he just looked at me calmly and said, ‘it’s in Connor’s car’ as if that settled the question once and for all – and that I was being most annoying asking.  Of COURSE it would be in Connor’s car – what was I thinking!

Well – last year revisited me on the same day my car key mysteriously disappeared – and would you believe it – it’s back in Connor’s car???  You think you’re losing a grasp of reality?  Try having a teenage son.  I can glimpse reality – and at times I think I have it almost within reach – but the more I keep trying to grab a hold of it – the more it slips away.   *sigh*

So last night I was getting ready for bed and reached for my Burt’s bees peppermint chapstick – (it’s my favorite and I’m hopelessly addicted to chapstick) and even IT WAS GONE!  I think someone is trying to mess with me.  Oh it’s not the big things – it’s all the little pesky things that don’t really matter at all – and easily replaced that will drive you nuts!

You can see that the ‘Queen’ has no real power around here – even when I fuss and fume about MY things.  I speak – no one listens.  Oh well – my boys still adore me and love to tease me – so I know I am still their number one – and that’s a good feeling.

The Queen has spoken.

God Bless

When Moles Attack

The Mole Returns

Image by programwitch via Flickr

Our backyard looks like a war zone.  Like someone took a shotgun and took random shots in our yard – kicking up dirt and leaving little holes in its wake.  However – if that had happened we very likely could find the nasty person – intent on wreaking havoc  for their own twisted pleasure.  Then we would smooth out our wounded and broken yard.  Reassured that our trouble was over.  But no.  It’s not that easy.  This is a MOLE issue.  And  Greg has declared – THIS IS WAR.

They are driven evil little creatures – bent on ripping apart our yard – bit by bit and taking delight in it.  They even work under cover of SNOW!  It’s amazing really.

Greg tried all the popular ‘cures’ for moles gone mad.  None of them worked…until – he heard about a sure cure – at least it’s worked in the past.  He goes out to the yard and much like the lead character in “Never cry wolf” – he drinks lots of water and then pees in the little holes – one by one.  It’s hilarious to watch and not for the easily squeamish of heart or stomach.  But in the past it has worked.  Very well.  He is stocking up on his liquid and planning his war attack for later today.  If I were a little mole – I wouldn’t like it ONE BIT.  Would you?

Watch out MOLES is all I can say.

And if you ever have trouble – try it Greg’s way.  🙂

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