Musings From A Musical Mind

Posts tagged ‘Lucky’

A Kiss Is Just A Kiss…

Yesterday I was reading a very interesting article on kissing.  In this article written by a man happily married – he was explaining how a kiss is so important in a love relationship and especially in a married one.

I just had a few thoughts of my own on this.

First there are many types of kisses – and many cultures that express deep meaning in a kiss.  In some cultures a kiss in greeting is not unusual – on the lips sometimes but very often on each cheek as a way to say, “hello” – or “goodbye”.

We in America do not follow these rules – and in fact we seem to have our own ‘personal space’ rule.  We would think it funny – strange or even a little creepy if someone of the opposite sex (whom we are not married to) came up and greeted us with a kiss – unless it’s your Grandpa, Dad, Brother, or Uncle.  But anyone else – NO WAY!  It’s our ‘personal space’ again.

But a romantic kiss?  That’s entirely different.  A kiss from your husband is the best kind of kiss there is.  You really can tell so much from a kiss.  It’s intimate and warm and wonderful – when done right.  It keeps the romance alive and keeps you coming back.  As a woman – I would rather have a passionate kiss that hints of more wonderful things to come – then just about anything else he could do for me.  I love his back rubs too – for that reason.  Tenderness shared by two people – the human touch – so necessary!

There are many married couples that struggle in this area.  The passion and excitement have definitely gone out of the marriage and they have been reduced to an ‘arrangement’ of sorts – instead of a growing, healthy, passionate and intimate love affair – as is expressed rather graphically in the Bible – remember “Song of Solomon”?  I don’t think King Solomon could ever have been accused of not being passionate.  Or disinterested.  Was he ‘physical’ and proud of it?  You betcha!  This is what is missing today in most married couples that have been married for 20 years or more – it’s mundane, hard, tiring and not interesting anymore.

For you women out there in this situation, I say this to you – do something to turn that thing around!  We woman have so much ‘power’ in this department – and though the man is the pursuer and should be ultimately responsible when the ‘romance’ goes out – I say that the woman has so much to also take upon herself – if the romance is no longer there.  What are you doing to make yourself attractive to your husband?  Does he look at you anymore?  Why not?  Are you doing anything about it?  Do your eyes sparkle with fun and laughter when you’re with him”  Do you laugh together anymore?  Why not?  Do you admire him?  Hang on his every word?  Make him feel important?  Wear special outfits that you know he likes?  Be softer – more feminine?  How often do you kiss him?  Build him up?  Make yourself available for him?  Take his arm – cuddle up with him on the coach?  Men LOVE to be admired and to be touched. Often and by someone they love – it’s like a drug to them.  Touch him!  Often – even if he’s not used to it – he will get used to it with very little help – I guarantee it.  And you want him touching you and thinking about you, right?  Make sure you kiss him properly so that he does!

For you men out there – YOU are the pursuer – the one that presses in – the one that is all about the chase!  If you aren’t chasing anymore – you need to ask yourself a question:  Why not?  Women LOVE to be pursued – wanted and made to feel like a QUEEN!  Especially in the home – but it goes outside the home too.  Women love to be kissed – passionately. It lets them know that they are wanted and needed by you.  They love little ‘things’ – notes, gifts, actions and words that let them know you are thinking only of them. NOT just for physical love – although if you do this right – it will lead there – I promise.  Take care of her emotional need first – and then the physical can’t help but follow.  Don’t wait until she takes care of you – YOU take care of her first and see the rich payoff you will receive.  Woman love to be touched – especially by you – so TOUCH HER!  A smart man will touch often because he wants her to be thinking about him and not some other man, right?  So kiss her like you mean it – you want your kiss to be on her mind all day!

About a year ago I wrote on the subject “Men are Simple” and still believe that men have 3 basic needs – if you meet them you will have a happy man – eating out of your hands.  1) Admire them 2) Feed them 3) Physical love (sex) – nothing could be more simple!

But women are equally simple if you break it down – it is NO secret that women are relational in nature and much more emotional as a general rule.  They love the ‘little things’ – touches and kisses and words – actions that promote love and interest.  Make her your Queen – and she will be a happy woman – and a happy woman with her emotional needs met – will meet your emotional and physical needs.

I recently thumbed through some pages online of “The Sex Starved Marriage” by Michele Weiner-Davis.  I understand how important it is to have a happy, healthy marriage – so many do not.  By the title of this book alone – it says so much. We live in a society and culture that promotes passion and sex to the unmarried and even ‘affairs’ – NOT so much in a boring, long marriage.  But I want to challenge you today – do something more about your marriage – turn it around and have a wonderful, passionate, healthy and thriving marriage as an example for the world to see!  And like was stated in the article on ‘kissing’ – you can always tell a marriage that has gotten it right.  They touch and kiss – share secrets and smiles and have a certain glow.  Love makes woman beautiful – and men young-looking and sexy.  Try it out – you won’t be disappointed – I promise.

Is a kiss just a kiss?  I think not.

God Bless

Graduation, Parties and Reflections

So today – we celebrated my son graduating from high school – he officially graduates on Tuesday to receive his diploma and wear his cap and gown – but since it is only a formality at this point in time – to us it is a ‘done deal’.  And so we celebrate.

I remember my own graduation from high school.  I was the emotional one in my high school class – and not too excited about leaving high school – I was happy there and very involved with the music program – Concertones and Jazz Choir and also pretty involved in drama.  I had friends and a former boyfriend I knew I would never see again once high school was over and was not anxious for that thought.  Some of my ‘guy friends’ bought me a box of kleenex as a joke and I found it in the music room with a note ‘for Cindy’ written on it as our class was lining up to take our ‘walk’ as graduates.  The year was 1979 – and the day was not much

My Senior Picture

different from today was.  Sunny and mostly warm – no rain and that meant we could have the ceremony out on our football field.  Our choir sang – I cried all the way through it – as we sang “Notes from Paul”.  I remember going to the “Top of the Inn” with my boyfriend and both our families after graduation.  The relationship I had with that guy didn’t last much past high school – but it was a special if not emotional day for me – I do remember that.

So much has changed – and now my ‘baby’ is graduating.  I don’t feel too much different from the way I felt 31 years ago this month.  It’s funny – when you’re graduating from high school – you feel so old and mature.  You don’t realize it is just the beginning of your life in so many ways.  Still so much growing up to do – so many things to experience – so much of life still to come.  I’m not sure what things are coming their way for my son – but if he’s anything like me – he will learn it mostly through life experience and not so much what people tell him.  He will make his own reflections some day – and perhaps become a musician and a writer like me – and look back on the day he graduated as a stepping stone to another place – and a new beginning for him.

Life changes so much for us from the time we’re 18 to when we’re parents and then onward to midlife.  Our perspective changes as life ‘happens’ to us – and sometimes the things we believed and held so tightly to – slip away from us.  And sometimes we find out things that we didn’t believe – are suddenly thrust upon us.  Sometimes life is gentle and kind – sometimes it is not.  We encounter those who make life better and easier for us – and those that hinder us and make life difficult.  It is through all of these experiences that we learn as each is something new and unique to our separate ‘journey’ through life.   We find that not everyone can go with us on some of that ‘journey’.  Sometimes we need to find the strength to take step toward our future – on our own – with no one beside us except the Lord Jesus Himself.  And if we let Him lead and guide us through that path ahead of us – we find we’re never really alone.  It is those times that shape our character and help us make it through the tough times of pain, conflict and heartache that is ahead of us.  There is also deep joy in trusting your life to your creator – and know that He holds you and won’t let you go.  And that nothing will be too hard to encounter with His help and guidance to make it through.  It is a wonderful thing to discover what your God-given talents and gifts are – and then to be able to use them to the best of their ability.  There is no greater joy than to find what you were designed to do – find someone who loves you for you – and to love them back – no matter what storms may come into your path.  To experience the love and grace of the Lord through those storms – and those victories – the deepest valleys and the highest mountains of your existence – the good and the bad – the ugly and the beautiful – and to feel safe – ah….the greatest feeling in the world.

Here is wishing you and yours a wonderful season of love and great reflections.

God Bless

My Life Journey

There comes a point in your life when you realize:

Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won’t anymore…
And who always will.
So, don’t worry about people from your past,
there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.

My friend Nancie sent me an email this morning with the above saying in it. I like it. It’s true – much as we try to pretend that ‘everyone’ matters and should have the same place in our hearts and lives.  It simply isn’t possible.

I like to think of life  – like a long journey. We meet people along the way that help us as we go along our way. People that we share common likes and dislikes with – those that bring laughter and friendship.  These people lend a hand and help us to get on the right path – give us a clearer view of the road signs up ahead.  But some people who we meet – are off the ‘path’.  They beckon to us and because they may be interesting – we follow them for a while. Pretty soon we are so far off our ‘path’ we cannot see which way to go. Then other people come along – maybe even just one – and calmly lead us back to the path – and stay with us while we work hard to catch up for time lost.  Those people understand us the most – because they too have fallen off ‘the path’ and know how hard it is to come back.

Some people stay with us throughout our long journey – the good and bad – the painful times and times of joy – others are just here for a ‘season’ and we never see or talk to them again. Others we meet later in our journey are precious to us – because they too have been on a similar ‘journey’ where life has been stormy and the path rocky and hard to follow. They understand us – they know what to watch out for – and how to ‘talk us though it’. Those people are invaluable to us.

It sounds cold and hard to say that we must leave people behind in our lives – but sadly we must – not everyone can come with us on our journey of life. And so we thank them for what they contributed – some bad and some good – but we leave them and turn toward the rest of our ‘journey’ while walking beside good friends.

To those I’ve had to say ‘goodbye’ to – for whatever reason – I learned from you – and grew from the experience of having you in my life.

And to those who are currently on my ‘path’ – I’m thankful and privileged to call you ‘friend’.  You are on my ‘life journey’ and I’m so grateful for each and every one of you today.

God Bless

Letters To Juliet

Last night Greg and I went to see “Letters to Juliet”.  I had heard great things about it – but Greg being a ‘guy’ was unsure about this highly acclaimed ‘girl movie’ and was skeptical to say the least.  But because he’s an unusual guy and we are ‘dating’ and having fun in everything that we do – and because he likes me to be happy – he decided he could endure it – for my sake.  But he changed his mind after we both read this review from widely respected movie critic, Roger Ebert.  If you had doubts about the movie – you most likely will not after reading his remarks and personal experiences from the film – including a glimpse into his personal romantic life.

Something that is noteworthy in this movie is that the two ‘leads’ are actually married in real life and have a similar story to the movie – met and fell in love when they were young and on the set of “Camelot” and then were separated until just a few years ago – when they decided to marry.  It’s very sweet – and below is a little bit more about the story from the stars themselves – Vanessa Redgrave and Franco Nero.

While sitting there watching it – we were caught up in the story – sure it was a bit predictable and a little ‘far fetched’ – but I also know of true stories that are maybe not so different from this story – and they say – “truth is stranger than fiction’ – and in many cases it is – some of the stories I’ve heard about involving time, love and restoration after many years is something out of a story book (or movie) and I’ve said many times, “you just can’t make this stuff up!” and meant it!

Enjoy the  video below and I hope that you will go and see this – it’s a very sweet love story – for all of you ‘true’ romantics ♥

Blessed

James 1:12

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

Ever feel like you’re “under trial”? – You’ve had to face some great “test”? And that there is no help – even “silence” from God himself? Take heart – the teacher is always silent during the test.

Something is changing in my spirit in the past few days. I feel a heaviness is lifting – and a real deep joy is taking its place. Oh nothing specific – I just feel happy. Even playful – and can’t stop smiling or giggling. Did I pass the test? I’m sure it’s not over yet – probably not even close. Just when I think it’s behind me – there’s something else to remind me. And I know – I’m not over it yet. But when I have days where I am happy and can’t stop smiling – then I know I’m going to be one of the ones that has “persevered” and stood the test without “giving in” to sadness or depression – temptation and even sin.

And I am very lucky. I have such good positive people in my life. A rich and happy family – a husband that loves me for me – and good friends that daily walk with me and encourage me with their presence in my life – I am blessed

I feel a little like Mary Tyler Moore in the theme song from her TV show in the 70’s – “You’re gonna make it after all” – it’s great to know. And I smile just thinking about it.

God Bless

The Rose

There are roses in my vase

beautiful

fragile

spinning a fragrance

requiring water to survive

but then

leaving only wilted petals

that are

temporary

fleeting

here today

gone tomorrow

We are

rare and beautiful

our fragrance is who we are

simple love sustains us

many contribute

and help us bloom

helping us journey

to discover who we are

it can take years

a lifetime

that is only a moment

and then

we curl up

surrender to death

leaving behind

only a memory

a fragrance

of our life

like the rose

This is dedicated to the people in my life that have helped me to “bloom” and have journeyed with me as I am one step closer to discovering who I am.

God Bless

Birthday Thoughts

Being “39” isn’t so bad after all – what’s a decade or two among friends?  I actually have liked being in my 40’s and being that this is the last year of this great decade – I am trying to enjoy every moment starting with a great birthday celebration yesterday.  I feel very blessed and rich indeed to have so many wonderful people in my life right now.  Laughter and sharing life together binds the spirit of friends and mine have been a godsend for me.  Some do not live here and we are still connected by this modern technology called “the internet” – and I am grateful for it – without it – it would be difficult to “do life” on a daily basis with them – and feel like they are right there with you.  I have a friend that has been going through a struggle with her health – she does not live around here any more and being connected has been a lifesaver for her – there are a few of us that have stayed very close with her while she was walking through this difficult journey.  I also have a friend and his wife from out of state – and staying connected with them has been such a godsend for them – as my friend just lost his mother the other day.  I have another friend from college days that I stay connected with – we are “blogging” buddies.  He has found himself on a journey that though circumstances are very different than mine – in some ways we are on a parellel journey of healing and trust with people and friendships in our life.  He and his wife are also not in the area – and the internet and our “blog sites” have been a source of encouragement and healing for both of us.

I also have a few close friends that DO live here and we get together as often as we can – but I’m afraid it is not as often as we would like because everyone in our “season” of life is so busy just trying to keep up – pay the bills and deal with the ordinary pressures and concerns of raising children and just live. Again the internet has been so valuable to have that “connected ” feeling – even when most of us are too busy to pick up the phone – nor do we want to with so many other things pressing.  I’m fortunate that everyone in my life understands this – is in the same place and we do the best we can – while still “doing” life together.

I had the priviledge of being with some of these special people in my life yesterday.  They make my life better – we encourage one another to be better – I feel blessed to be around them.

But the best thing that happened to me yesterday was a HUGE handmade card from my 18 year old son, Shawn.  I plan to buy a poster frame for this and hang it in my bedroom.  The card says it all and I have included it below.

Thank you to all of you who make my life more beautiful.  I am priviledged to know you and be a part of your life. ♥  God Bless

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