Adventures with Mrs. Frantic (Alias: Mrs. Grumpy)

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This Saturday our 19-year-old son is having his impacted wisdom teeth removed.  And because I’m a glutton for punishment and have unresolved memories of the past – I’m going with him.  I say this because when my husband and I were newlyweds and still attending Northwest University (the former Northwest College) Greg had his impacted wisdom teeth out – all four of them.   Now just WHY he didn’t have them out before college OR before we were married – is a mystery to me – along with other mysteries of the universe.  *sigh*

I remember it well – even though it was some 28 years ago.  Greg was done with all his finals for that semester and scheduled his appointment accordingly.  However, I still had two finals to take.  We thought – no problem – I can just study while I wait for him to have the procedure done.  We arrived early in the day and as soon as we got there – Greg was whisked away behind closed doors of the Oral Surgeon‘s office in Bellevue – just a few miles from where we lived.

Because the teeth (all four of them) were impacted – they had to put him under with a general anesthetic.  The actual procedure was pretty short – but the recovery was long.

It seemed like I was in that waiting room for a long time.  The longer it took the more I couldn’t concentrate anymore – and was feeling a little anxious.  After what seemed like hours – I finally heard someone from behind closed doors – ‘hiccuping‘ – VERY LOUDLY.  I remember thinking, ‘how rude’.  But it persisted – and a nurse finally came out and asked me to come back.

I followed the loud ‘hiccuping’ sounds to a recovery room – and there was my husband – sitting up and being VERY LOUD!  If you know Greg – he is a very soft-spoken, kind and gentle man – does NOT like to draw attention to himself AT ALL and would rather die than to be obnoxious IN PUBLIC.  And yet – here he was – my inebriated husband – like he had a ‘snoot-full’. And VERY pleased with himself!

Well, because I had NEVER seen my husband drunk – much less TAKE A DRINK – it was really quite amusing and horrifying at the same time!  I became quite frantic – as a nurse and myself tried to help Greg out to the car – now pulled around to a side door.  They had given him a little bag to hold in case – well YOU KNOW – and he used it – often – while walking to the car – and after getting in.

I must admit – it put me in a state of panic.  The medical staff didn’t even bat an eye – perfectly normal they told me.  Really? What’s normal – a drunk husband holding a bag on his lap?  What a sick world.

So I’m now ‘driving’ in my state of frantic/panic.  I somehow managed to get on the freeway – don’t know how and then forgot how to get home.  I should mention that we were house-sitting that week for a missionary lady in another part of Kirkland where we were living at the time.  I had never driven there before – Greg always drove.  I had NO IDEA how to get ‘home’.  So naturally I sailed right by the right exit.  As I did – Greg looked up from his drunken stupor – with his head in the bag and like the ‘ghost of Christmas future‘ – just pointed out the window as the exit quickly disappeared from sight.

Well I finally found a place to turn around and somehow got us home.  He was pretty bad for the next 24 hours or so – couldn’t hold down anything – it was bad.  I had to have my mother come ‘sit’ with him – so I could go take a couple of finals.  I have no memory of taking them – and one I barely passed. Lesson learned.

When we could take the vomiting and over-all ‘green’ completion NO more – I called the doctor – who at first thought that Greg may have picked up a flu bug.  But the more it persisted they started digging into family history – and discovered that Greg was allergic to the anesthetic given him – as he had a persistent battle when he was a child with motion sickness.  This explained everything to the doctor and to us too – we were really worried.  But as the medication ran through his body and wore off – he was fine.

So here I am again.  28 years later.  I’m not sure why I’m the one elected to go with our son this Saturday to do this all over again. I’m sure waiting in the waiting room while our son is whisked off behind closed doors is going to feel a little like deja’ vu.  And when he comes out of it – am I going to hear the same thing before I see him – like father – like son?  I am going to be the designated driver – because if he is going to be a drunk like his father after having the anesthetic – then I should be there.   Someone has to.  And I have a little experience with this.  Sure hope I can find my way home. 🙂

God Bless

Mrs. Grumpy And The Temporary Files

Today my dear husband and I were having a lovely trip into the country – we attend church in Enumclaw which is quite a little drive from Renton – but it’s beautiful – and on a day like today there is a crystal clear view of Mt. Rainier. This time I actually remembered to pack along my digital camera to get some great shots of the mountain in all its glory.

While looking for a spot to take the pictures from I happily spotted an espresso stand in the middle of nowhere – which was actually open on a Sunday! I expressed my joy to Greg who was focused on finding “just the right spot” for pictures – I even mentioned it to him, “it’s actually OPEN”!! I said – expecting that he would take note of it and later come back to it. So after finding a place complete with some beautiful cherry trees to take some pictures – we got back in the truck and I said – do you remember where that little coffee place was? I was confident – because my husband is NOTHING if not a “human compass” – knowing how to find things – even if it’s been YEARS since he’s been there. He never gets lost and always has a brilliant sense of direction – unlike me – who has NO sense of direction. But he replied, “What little coffee place?” Hmmm. This couldn’t be good. I wouldn’t be able to find my way out of a paper bag – let alone far into the country with nothing familiar to guide me. So I tried the best I could, “Don’t you remember we passed it on the way and I said, “It’s actually OPEN!!”? He did not. No recollection at all – UNTIL we passed by it and I exclaimed, “There it is!!! – See?” He was like, “No I don’t remember that – I thought you were talking about the Grange Hall being open” Hmmmm. Why would I CARE about a Grange Hall???? Wow. Yeah – that sounds just like me – “Hey let’s pull over RIGHT NOW and go in the Grange Hall – it’s actually OPEN!!! YIPPEE!!!!” Right.

So it was then that I tossed around an idea – I have actually had my suspicions on this subject for quite a while now. Here it is: Men have “temporary files” it’s a little scary because they often cannot find the file anywhere once it downloads. Lots of little “temporary files” with no permanent destination. Just lost and forlorn – looking for a home. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – I have thousands of those on my computer and every once in a while I have to clean them out – or it clogs up my hard drive and it runs slow and sluggish. Women burn thoughts and all external information straight to their “hard drive”. Yup – that’s our default setting. One it downloads – it’s there permanently. It takes much more effort to remove it – and sometimes like a pesky file or virus on your computer – it cannot be removed at all. Ever. With Men – they are just a “click” away at all times from “deleting” those temporary “bites’ of information. I think it’s why they look so confused and lost most of the time when trying to talk to them. Greg says he’s desperately trying to figure out what I’m saying – and trying to come up with the correct response fast enough so he won’t look like an idiot. It’s a full-time job sometimes to try to “access” the correct “file”. And let’s face it – sometimes it’s not even there anymore. It’s gone. POOF!!! There’s no memory of it – nothing. Just gone.

Sometimes I feel like I’m a crazy person. Searching for understanding from someone who will not make me feel like I’m insane. “You didn’t say that” he will say. And I will respond, “I most certainly DID.” You know – those conversations.

Ah – the complexities of men and women – trying to battle it out – speaking their own unique languages – which make no sense to the other. It’s blissful and wonderful sometimes, isn’t it? Can’t you just feel the love?

I’m thinking the old, “can’t live with them – can’t live without them” certainly applies BIG TIME – right here.

Maybe this is why women are sometimes grumpy. We remember everything. I think it is not always a blessing. Oh to sometime be a man. Live and let live – “Don’t need this “temporary file” – I’ll just delete it!” Wow – what a concept.

Here’s wishing you plenty of patience today as you try to understand the complex language of the sexes.

God Bless

Mrs. Grumpy Is Easily Confused

So today I had the rare opportunity to actually drive MY OWN CAR for an appointment.  I have to secure MY OWN CAR in advance with my 18 year old son – who always has other “plans” for my vehicle.  And so I went through the proper procedure – allowing enough time for his 18 year old brain to make the necessary adjustments for leaving him abandoned and “carless” for the morning – (something I have learned to live with) and arranged for his father to take him to school – which left me TOTALLY FREE to celebrate my newly earned (and well deserved) little outing with MY OWN CAR.

So I happily got into my car – after checking with Greg to see if I actually had enough gas in the car – just a side note here – I DO NOT LIKE PUMPING MY OWN GAS.  And most of the time when I get the RARE opportunity to drive MY OWN CAR – it is usually on fumes when I take over.  Not fun.  Did I mention I DO NOT LIKE PUMPING MY OWN GAS?   Anyway – I digress.

Like I said – I got into the car – started to “bond” again with it – it’s such a happy little car and I’ve missed it so – leather seats and nice and comfortable – black and mellow – like me ♥  And found my CD’s and began to play one of my “mixes” and started down the road.  It is rare that I can find my CD’s EVER in the vehicle that is MY OWN CAR – but that’s another story – and today it was right where it should be.  But then I noticed that something was missing.  Something I had bought for MY OWN CAR.  It is my car charger.  It was gone.  I looked under the seats – in the glove box – in the middle console – in the side consoles – it was NO WHERE.

So after the appointment I came home and Greg and I were having lunch together when our darling 18 year old son walked in (he had to walk home from school – awww poor BABY!!)  and I remembered about the car charger.  He was rattling on and on about completing his senior project and how well he did and that it was a MAJOR stress off his shoulders – yada yada yada – when finally I said to him, “Shawn – enough about you – where is MY car charger?”  He looked blankly at me for just a second or two (men have the look down so well) and then said so matter of factly, “Oh, it’s in Connor’s car” as if saying that would settle the question once and for all.  And how ridiculous of me to wonder where it was!  Of course it would be in Connor’s car – why HOW SILLY OF ME!

Now at this point – and understand me completely when I say this:  I live with two men.  And they are VERY confusing at times – in fact it just doesn’t take too much to mess me up and I think they know this.  Just a “little push” and it could send me over – if you know what I mean.

Am I wrong for wanting own car charger in MY OWN CAR?  Is it unreasonable that it would be in MY OWN CAR and not Connor’s?  I ask you – am I completely insane???

So then Shawn who was already bored with the conversation – and having NO STRESS anymore – left the room.  I, however found that whatever stress level he had – was somehow shifted (in some cosmic mother and son way) to ME!!  Then my dear darling husband proceeded to point to the hallway where Shawn had just walked down and said, “Baby of the family” and then pointed at ME and said, “Baby of the family”  And I said, “so this is somehow MY FAULT???”  I guess because I am the “baby” of my family and gave birth to a “baby” of the family – I am somehow “guilty”.  Of  just what – I do not know.

All I wanted was MY OWN CAR and….my car charger.

That’s all I have to say.  This “baby” is not saying anything more.

Yes – I’m Grumpy – and Confused.