Today I took an innocent road trip with Greg to Bremerton – about an hour and a half or so from where we live. It was raining a little when we left Renton – but as we headed south the rain really picked up.
Something you should know about me – I’m not comfortable driving in the rain. I have a car that sits very low to the ground and inhibits me from seeing well especially in rain. Larger trucks and semi’s have a way of passing me really quickly and then spewing all their water on my windshield – prohibiting me from seeing ANYTHING for a couple of seconds. This releases sheer panic in me.
I have much history driving in the rain. Anyone who lives in the Pacific Northwest has to sink or swim (no pun intended) as the case most often is when living here. I remember many times driving on the freeway because of necessity either to get somewhere or to get home – usually in the rain – sometimes in the dark – sometimes both. Can you guess the other least favorite thing of mine? That’s right. Dark. Specifically driving in the dark.
So I try not to do either of these whenever I can avoid them.
But today I was riding shotgun and Greg was driving. As I get older I must be getting much more paranoid or something because it REALLY FREAKED ME OUT driving in the pouring rain beside semi’s and other enormous trucks all of them spewing water on our windshield. I know I wasn’t driving – but it still bothered me – and when the brake lights would come from vehicles ahead of us I would feel this rising panic. Greg is not afraid and drives aggressively which may be the reason for my concern. I am not an aggressive driver – especially in the rain and/or dark. I’m always just glad to finally get home. And I’m usually glad when someone else is doing the driving.
One time on the freeway when I was driving – I saw brake lights ahead and thought everyone was just slowing down – no big deal – but then I had to quickly SLAM ON MY BRAKES as the vehicles ahead were at a STAND STILL right in the middle of the freeway – no warning – NOTHING. It really freaked me out – and now every time I see brake lights on the freeway – I say to Greg, “how can you be sure they are just slowing down?” It really concerns me – especially at high speeds in the rain – and in the dark.
And though I know I will possibly always feels this way and never be comfortable on the freeway with less than perfect conditions – I know I must learn to trust others who have no fear – who have a flawless track record and have logged many hours and miles in dangerous conditions. I know there are others who have a handle on it – and I have nothing to fear. And though I can’t see it as being safe – knowing that others are confidant is HUGE.
I wonder if the Lord feels the same way I know my husband must when I’m in the car with him – and I’m really unhappy and untrusting. I wonder if He wonders why I don’t trust Him – when He sees the big picture of my life and can navigate from His great vantage point. He probably wonders why I just can’t relax – enjoy the ride and let Him get me to the places that He needs me to be – without me fussing and fighting Him.
The next time something is happening in your life that is scary or less than pleasant – try thinking of it this way: God is with you – He is in the driver’s seat. He will get you where you need to be. You are safe. It will be alright.
I am still learning this. Mine is a continual journey of trust.