Musings From A Musical Mind

Posts tagged ‘Sadness’

If You Could Read My Mind

If you could read my mind, love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
'Bout a ghost from a wishin' well

   In a castle dark or a fortress strong
   With chains upon my feet
   You know that ghost is me
   And I will never be set free
   As long as I'm a ghost that you can't see 

If I could read your mind, love
What a tale your thoughts could tell
Just like a paperback novel
The kind that drugstores sell

   When you reach the part where the heartaches come
   The hero would be me
   But heroes often fail
   And you won't read that book again
   Because the ending's just too hard to take 

   I'd walk away like a movie star
   Who gets burned in a three way script
   Enter number two
   A movie queen to play the scene
   Of bringing all the good things out in me

   But for now love, let's be real
   I never knew I could feel this way
   And I've got to say that I just don't get it
   I don't know where we went wrong
   But the feeling's gone
   And I just can't get it back 

   In a castle dark or a fortress strong
   With chains upon my feet
   But stories always end
   And if you read between the lines
   You'll know that I'm just tryin' to understand

   The feelings that you lack
   I never knew I could feel this way
   And I've got to say that I just don't get it
   I don't know where we went wrong
   But the feeling's gone
   And I just can't get it back
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My Lagan Love

We watched a live concert of the Celtic Women last night on public television and they never cease to amaze me with their unusually gifted vocal ability.  One song in particular that stood out to me is the old Irish tune “My Lagan Love” – so hauntingly beautiful – I hope you will enjoy it as much as we did.

Where Lagan stream sings lullaby
There blows a lily fair
The twilight gleam is in her eye
The night is on her hair
And like a love-sick lennan-shee
She has my heart in thrall
Nor life I owe nor liberty
For love is lord of all.

And often when the beetle’s horn
Hath lulled the eve to sleep
I steal unto her shiedling lorn
And thru the door I peep.
There on the cricket’s singing stone,
She stares the bogwood fire,
And hums in sad sweet undertone
The song of heart’s desire
Her welcome, like her love for me,
Is from her heart within:
Her warm kiss is felicity
That knows no taint of sin.

When she was only very small
Her gentle mother died;
But true Love keeps her memory warm
While on Lagan riverside.

Madge

Madge

by Stephen Bishop

It was 1927
Had the world at my feet
A pretty girl on each arm
My family was so proud of me

I built a lot of buildings
Tore half of ’em down
One by one
They all crumbled just like me
But like a storm in a teacup
Like a smile sent down from heaven
Madge, I loved you then
and I love you now

We ate in the finest restaurants
Had the wealthiest friends
Most of them are gone now
No one left to say, “I knew you when”

It seems so long since I’ve remembered
the girl I used to know
She never saw any of my money
But she watched it come and go

Like a storm in a teacup
like a smile sent down from heaven
Madge I loved you then
and I love you now

They call this place “Sunnyside”
But I ain’t seen the sun
in a long, long time
And my hands don’t seem too steady now
But they’re still holding onto you

Madge, she’s probably married now
in a nice white house
and me I just sit here in by myself
Quiet as a mouse

But I got my TV turned up loud
I’m not going to hear myself retreat
If only I’d have kept her
I’d have stayed on my feet

Like a storm in a teacup
like a smile sent down from heaven
Madge I loved you then and I love you now…

My Long Shadow

Today on the way to church Greg and I were discussing tramatic events in our lives and why they affect us so – especially after significant amounts of time have gone by.  Greg said this:

The farther from an event – the longer the shadow

This is so true – and often times is why we have trouble letting things go and just forgetting.  There is a shadow that follows us and grows over time.  Especially when there are still many questions and unresolved issues.  That shadow can seem daunting and frightening at times.

However – I also believe that each life is on a journey of learning – and growing and it sometimes takes a lifetime of experiences good and bad – to bring that about.  Sometimes that shadow can be a good thing – especially if it has taught us something valuable and continues to be with us as a constant reminder – of ones self –  of something else – or maybe even – someone else.  Learning to live with the unanswered questions of life is never easy – but it is that discovery into what we are made of that makes of who we are – and how we react to and with that shadow –  determines the course of the rest of our lives.

What is your shadow today?  Have you been reconciled to it?  Is it making you a better person as you learn to live with its gentle reminder of things in your past?

I am praying for you today

Below is a great song by Gabe Dixon – one of my favorite Artists. It captures the very essence of that “shadow” – and our attempt to try to understand it.

God Bless

When you don’t know where you’re going and you don’t know why
It feels like another day’s beating into the night
Lay you head on my chest while my beatin’ heart pounds out the secret of this life

The higher you reach
The further the sky
The more miles you walk
The longer the road
The steeper you climb
The harder you stand to fall
The stronger you get
The heavier the load

I wish I could give you the answers and paper and ink
I wish I could stop all the tears before they start falling
But we’re feeling our way and we’re always beginners
We’re all cuts and no scars

The higher you reach
The further the sky
The more miles you walk
The longer the road
The steeper you climb
The harder you stand to fall
The stronger you get

The heavier the load
The higher oh, the higher oh, the higher that you reach
The further oh, the further oh, the further the sky
The higher oh, the higher oh, the higher that you reach
The further oh, the further oh, the further the sky

(Well the further the sky)

The bigger the dream
The rougher the ride
The truer the love
The deeper the ache
The blinder the faith
The tougher the go

The higher you reach
The further the sky
The more miles you walk
The longer the road
The steeper you climb
The harder you stand to fall
The stronger you get
The heavier the load

You…

You

have always been there

silently waiting

knowing

observing

deciding

I

have journeyed

and wandered

trapped by the inner workings of my heart

frail and fickle

hopelessly corrupt

I breathe in the raw emotion

and choke on regret

of past and pain

trying to make sense of it

as life moves on

and things fade

but life’s lessons

are still teaching

Your steady calmness

is like a warm embrace

And a kiss on my cheek

an unending resolution

to stand in the gap

to see my sadness

acknowledge my struggle

and taste the defeat

You are

Solid and unmovable

like a anchor

Predictable in your nature

like a compass pointing “true north”

Gracious

in a world where people lack grace

Patient

far beyond what should be expected

And even though

memories

and pictures

are forever mixed up in my mind

the real and the unreal

the sane and insane

the right and the wrong

the love that I feel

is still very real to me

And even though

the passage of time will produce

doubt and uncertainty again

and again

yet

I still know

and am comforted

by the thought of you

by the nearness of you

by the love

and the joy

that is

you

These Dreams…

What do dreams mean?  Is there a reason for them?  Is it our subconscious telling us “sweet little things” while we are not conscious?  Or sometimes “bad little things”.  Do we believe they tell the future?  Or explain the past?  Or are they just a very active mind doing very active things – even while our bodies rest?

I’ve had a strange reoccurring dream for years – and the only explanation I can find for this oddity is that I must feel like I have some “unfinished” business in my past – something I would desperately like to resolve.  Unfortunately life is just not that easy  – or that reasonable.

I’ve even had conversations with people in my dreams – people that I have not seen in years – that will just “pop in” and I have a whole dream about them.  I have also had my mind “fill in the blanks” to a missing puzzle piece of life that I cannot reconcile in real life – it will be nicely explained and resolved in my dreams.  I wake up with the “fresh” feeling that something has been solved – or healed – even though, sadly, in real life – it hasn’t.

I feel weightless in my dreams – like I’m in another place and time sometimes – far away from the present – far away from my real life.  I will see people that are familiar – but none of the surroundings are.  Sometimes my dreams upset me and I will “cry out” and wake myself up – or mumble something unintelligible – and Greg will wonder what I was dreaming about.  But sometimes the dreams are happy and make me feel better – fill me with hope and anticipation and I wake up knowing every detail – as I share with Greg or Shawn what I have just dreamt.

Dreams can be funny – they can be sad.  They can be scary – but also very happy.

What are your dreams like?  Do you remember them?  Do you have a reoccurring dream like I do?

I trust that you will have sweet dreams tonight.

God Bless

A Place To Hideaway…

Ever have one of those days?  You know the kind – nothing’s really wrong – but nothing’s really right either.  You just feel a little “off”.  You find yourself feeling a little down – a little sad – a little blue.  Sometimes you just want to run away.  Hideaway.  Where is that place to run to?  Sometimes it has very little to do with outward circumstances – and very much to do with internal feelings and emotions that are just simply with us – for better or for worse.  Sometimes a song expresses it the best way – like this song that Karen Carpenter sang 40 years ago – it is still relevant today.

I am so glad that in the midst of sad 0r “blue” days – I DO have a secure place to “hideaway” – and that is with my loving Heavenly Father – who promises me a safe place – a place with no questions – no speeches – no “quick fixes” – just a loving solace to come and place my weary head down.  I love to come here – my own personal “place to hideaway” – far from the stresses and people in my life – far from situations that make me sad.  And yes – far from even myself.  When I run to Him – it becomes all about Him – and not about me.  And it is better that way – putting the focus back on where it belongs – and has belonged all the time.  On Him.  My permanent resting place.  My “hiding place”.

I’ve got to find a place to hideaway
Far from the shadows of my mind
Sunlight and laughter, love ever after
For how I long to find a place to hideaway

I hear you whisper and I must obey,
Blindly follow where you’ll be
Knowing tomorrow brings only sorrow
Where can I go to find a place to hideaway?


Bright colored pinwheels go round in my head
I run through the mist of the wine

The night and the music remind me instead
The world once was mine
I’ll save my pennies for a rainy day
But where can I buy another you?
Dreams are for sleeping
Love is for weeping
Oh, how I long to find a place to hideaway

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