Musings From A Musical Mind

Posts tagged ‘Thoughts’

I’m trying to Listen, Lord

Does anyone else struggle with the concept of prayer?  Does it make you feel less than “spiritual” because you may have doubts in this department?  Do you believe God always answers?  Even when He answers against what you are believing and praying for?  Do you believe that His will is always done here on earth?   I do.

Somehow when I have doubts as to how I believe things work out (or don’t work out) – it feels like it goes against the way I was raised to feel or believe.  My husband has called me a Calvinist because of some of these doubts and struggles.  It is not that I don’t believe we should pray, rather I believe that God answers even when we don’t specifically pray for something.  I believe that God created, sees and knows the bigger picture of our lives – and His ways and thoughts are so much bigger than ours.  I don’t believe in using prayer as a “rabbit’s foot” – pulled out when we feel we are in serious crisis of mind, body and soul – but rather it should be an ongoing journey to listen and develop the mind of Christ.

Help me not to cry out just when I need something from you.

As Christians do we really believe that God is good all the time?  – has our best interest at heart even though we cannot see it?  Even if we haven’t prayed specifically for it?  Yes.  I believe that.   Is prayer for God to change His eternal plans already set in motion?  Or rather, is prayer for me?  Certainly God does not need me to send my shopping list of requests to Him.  He knows everything already, right?  I believe prayer is a discipline for me that takes years to develop.

Today I found this today on Sandi Patty’s Blog:

Dan Rather, former CBS anchorman, once asked Mother Teresa what she said during her prayers.  She answered, “I listen.”  So Rather turned the question and asked, “Well then, what does God say?”  To that, Mother Teresa smiled with confidence and answered, “He listens.”  Rather didn’t know how to continue.  He was baffled.  “And if you don’t understand that,” Mother Teresa added, “I can’t explain it to you.”

Such a profound thought.  You mean I don’t need to say or do anything?  Yes.  Listening to God’s voice is enough, but often times we cannot quiet our own thoughts to do this.  I believe that prayer changes us.  I believe this is why Jesus told us to pray.  So that we might have understanding and insight.  So that we might have quiet acceptance and resolve.  Even when things don’t go my way.  Even when He doesn’t give me what I want.  Even when my bad choices produce difficulty in my life.  Even when I am unhappy.  Even when I live right and do everything by the book.  Even when I follow all the rules and things still go wrong.  Even when people die.  Even when family members go the wrong way.  Even when nothing happens when I pray.

Change me.

 

I believe that by spending time with Jesus in submission to His plan and wisdom – we become bendable and pliable.  It allows us to look at our circumstances differently.  Maybe not at first – but spending time with Him eventually changes us.  Even when it looks as though we are doing nothing. Even if it makes us look and feel weak, wimpy and submissive.  Even when others around us urge us to be more aggressive in prayer.  How are we going to get an answer if we aren’t willing to go there?  What happens then, when after we are “aggressive” and exhausted from prayer – God does not answer.  Is it our lack of faith?  Is it our inability to “pray through”.  Were we not aggressive enough?  Did we do it wrong?  What about those we pray for that do not get well?  We didn’t pray enough?  Or long enough?  Such thoughts are contrary to the Bible.

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.  Matthew 6:7,8

Take away my guilt.

Prayer is listening.  Prayer is developing trust.  Prayer is an open invitation for the Father to know us – and us to know Him.  It is about relationship – not a shopping list of requests – prayed by anxious people.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God.” Philippians 4:6

I’m sure I will continue to struggle with this – even though as a believer, I should not.  Having faith is believing that no matter what happens to me or those I love in this life – He has it under control.  Nothing surprises Him or escapes His notice.  Like a loving father who wants to protect, hurts when I hurt and wants so much to reassure even when I don’t understand that he loves all the time – He gets me.  He has a plan bigger than I do.  And even though I doubt and wonder if there is something more I should be doing or praying about – He still has it.  All the time.  This simple truth takes years of trust to develop – and I’m still working on it – one day at a time.

So in the meantime – I’m believing and trying to listen, Lord.

God Bless

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Little Narrow Gate

This song is one you may not have heard often – or at all.  But it is one of my favorites by great gospel singer Sandi Patty.  Music and lyrics like this are nothing short of inspiring!  I trust you will find the beautiful melody and rich lyric line a little lift today – as you find your own little narrow gate.

 

God Bless

Chorus:
There’s a little narrow gate
At the top of a hill
And it beckons my heart to enter in
And follow where it will
Oh, where it will
And the path that leads through this gate of dreams
Takes me away

With the wind at my back
The journey before me
I set my feet on the road that leads to life
And take the hand of the one
Who’ll be my companion
For he will show me the place to begin

Repeat Chorus

All of my life I’ve been waiting
Could this be the place I can start

Repeat Chorus

I See You

English: Limosa fedoa is walking at Ocean Beac...

Seasons change

 

 

 

a small tide goes out

 

 

 

There is peace

 

 

 

a calm settling

 

 

 

more to come

 

 

 

everlasting

 

 

 

continual motion

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Like the planets

 

 

 

not standing still

 

 

 

swirling and moving

 

 

 

pulling and pushing

 

 

 

reeling in

 

 

 

gravitational pull

 

 

 

Gravitation keeps the planets in orbits around...

Gravitation keeps the planets in orbits around the Sun. (Not to scale) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

 

 

And so we are

 

 

 

the same

 

 

 

yet ever-changing

 

 

 

like the tide

 

 

 

like the planets

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Movement in symmetry

 

 

 

dancing with abandon

 

 

 

free yet restrained

 

 

 

yearning forward

 

 

 

drawn together

 

 

 

discovering truth

 

 

 

in simple pleasures

 

 

 

You + Me = We

You + Me = We (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

 

 

 

 

 

I see you

 

 

 

you see me

 

 

 

and that is enough

 

 

 

This Time

Gift Box

Gift Box (Photo credit: Ken’s Oven)

There is a box marked “past”.

I keep it tucked away.

the lid is closed

but sometimes I take it out

unwrap the pretty bow

and look inside at the things

I saved for a rainy day.

things that are precious to me

conversations and pictures

memories and mistakes

those that are no longer a part of my life

it is my glimpse into an altered reality

and another life

that might have been mine

this time

so long ago.

There is a box marked “today”

It contains things tangible

easy to touch

never heavy or painful

things that only bring peace

purpose, commitment, laughter and right now

It is my life

There are those that share in it

friendships and love

a simple place of no regret

the box is kept out in the open for all to see,

rummage through and contribute.

There is no lid – the box always open

I am comfortable here and free to be me

I am grounded

firmly planted in reality

It is where I can stay.

this time

There is a box marked “future”

It is the scary unknown

the one that is still unwritten

things I do today will greatly affect this box

that is hidden from me

It will contain my hopes, thoughts and prayers

and things I do or don’t do today

I don’t want to make mistakes

like the many in my “past” box

full of regrets, love lost and wrong people

that box is full and has to be kept shut

by an act of my will

This future box is empty

has no mistakes or regrets in it

it is the beginning of a clean slate

for a meaningful existence today

a poured out life

spent in service for others

honoring to God

a time to be happy

to be all I was created to be

with no regrets

only love

this time

A Change Of Scenery

Today I am almost fully recovered from a week long cold. I cannot remember the last time I was sick with a cold. It seems so long ago. I pulled my prescription cough syrup off the top shelf in my bathroom, a sure sign of any affliction that made me wheeze, sneeze and cough. The date is June 2012.

I don't get sick very often. There is no time in my schedule usually, so I just don't do it. I do not like being sick. The simplest of tasks become exasperating. I get short with Greg and the dogs. I have to blow my nose every 3 seconds. I can't breathe.

But life and my teaching schedule went on. There is no time in a teacher's existence to be sick during the work week. I have a tiny window of time each weekend to be sick. Why – oh WHY did it last so long this time? I thought I would drink lots of orange juice, get some more sleep and I'd be all better by the next day – but it didn't turn out that way. I went through tons of oranges making my nutribullet juice.

But after being cooped up all week – it is nice to be out again, not just once but twice today! I told Greg that it's important to get out to have that important change of scenery. We all need a fresh perspective. A chance to take something new in – to reflect ad look at things in a new way.

As I sit here and write Greg is meeting with potential new wedding clients, I looked up a moment ago to see a familiar face smiling and walking over toward my table. It is a young lady from one of Greg's many wedding ceremonies. We are in an obscure spot – and somehow it is a very small world. She has never forgotten either of us and we are grateful for the gift of friendship and encouragement from so many wherever we go.

This is the best part of going out of my home. Meeting up with people. Sharing in laughter and small talk. Hearing pleasant chatter from the table next to me. Hearing laughter from the baristas around the corner and most of all – feeling so much better!!

Have a wonderful Sunday

God Bless

Lamplight Lane

thomask

It is almost dark.

A sweet dusk has descended.

The sky is pinkish, blue and gray.

The walkway lamps are lit.

I feel the cobblestone beneath my feet – hear the uneven surety of my steps.

I smell the blossoms on the many plants in full bloom, the trees are fragrant as they hang there unaware of how beautiful they are.

This is my favorite time of the day.

It is my walk time.  My time to be with you.

This is the time when I reflect, pause and drink it in.

I have a prayer on my lips and thoughts in my mind.

We have walked this path many times before – you and I – and I know we shall walk it again.

It is at these times when I feel the surrounding canvas of your creation come alive and you speaking to me.

I have many questions in my prayers.  It is here that I ask them.

I make firm resolves, I argue, I reason – and all the while I feel you with me.

My resolves are laughable – you know me so well

I reason that you have designed me and understand my many jumbled up emotions.

I argue with why things have to be the way they are.

And finally I am resigned to ask the questions anyway – even though you do not always answer.

In the beauty of this evening I feel your promise of many more just like this one.

And I drink it in – all of it.

I feel your grace in my life – things I do not deserve.

Those things you have allowed into my life, and those you have protected me from

And I am grateful – too full to speak

My footsteps are the only sound I hear as I walk along.

I am not alone.

Oh – the thought of it!

The Creator of this wonderful lamplight lane is walking with me.

A Cure For The Doldrums

This last week I have seen and felt the change in the weather.  No more crisp, sunny days.  But a constant dripping.  Wetness everywhere.  Darkness has come in the early mornings and seems to stay most of the day.  I didn’t think it bothered me.  It never used to.  But sunshine does seem to affect my overall emotional climate.  I’m not sure why – but I know it does.

With this change I have felt a heaviness.  Not a depression per say – not even sadness – but something in between.  The doldrums.

I heard a wonderful message some time back on “giving back”.  Sharing gifts, talents, resources with others in need – and who may just need a little extra love and encouragement.  When we help others and give of ourselves – it does something in our spirit.

I have also noticed that when we “give” instead of holding tight to “what we should get” – there is a release and a lightness of spirit.  Letting go of something we feel someone owes us – and being the bigger person by saying, “My fault” or “I’m sorry – I take full responsibility” is liberating.

This happened to me just this last week.  Even when I know I’m in the right – it does not free my spirit when the other person is held hostage by my insistence.  So – I just let it go.  And freed them.  And me.  And don’t have that weight of “rightness” anymore.  It feels great – even if it’s still raining outside.

And I turned on inspiring Christmas music – all the ‘feel good’ stuff that puts a smile on my face – no matter what.  Fond memories of crackling fires, hot cocoa and snuggling while watching a favorite movie.

A clear conscience and a light spirit – a sure cure for the doldrums.

Take care and God Bless

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