Musings From A Musical Mind

Posts tagged ‘woman’

Adam’s Rib

Adam and EveI read that God took something from the man

carefully fashioned it

and created the woman

I don’t often think much about it

but lately I’ve begun to wonder

do I have an extra one?

You know – that extra rib

Is it this one that gives me trouble

throws off my normal alignment?

Simple movements

that are not so simple

now that I am reaching

a certain age

A back that used to work for me

not against me

even with strenuous movements

one that would bounce back after exercise

But alas, it is not so

I have to blame that rib

that extra one

the one Adam gave me

It appears I’m stuck with it

a little pain

no gain

but maybe much is to be gained after all

For it is in the pain

and restriction

that cause me to pause

reflect

and appreciate the times

when everything works

just as it should

When my ribs don’t hurt when I breathe

when I can turn over in bed

without pain

and reach down for things without a sharp stabbing

But for now

I will stumble along

with my extra rib

that rib from Adam

and keep doing it

in spite of that hinderance

that certain encumbrance

the unwanted rib

I will do it

by trimming down

moving more

eating less

and finding a new normal

and in time

I will adjust

extra rib and all

Hey Adam!

Thanks ever so much

you shouldn’t have

I mean that.

Can I give it back?

Today good for you?

Tomorrow?

Oh I get it

without that extra little “gift”

I would not be here

I guess it stays

it is my reminder

my visual

and my choice

And I choose to work through it

and not take anything for granted

when everything works so well!

 

 

 

 

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I’m Not Short – I’m Empire Waisted

Joséphine de Beauharnais wearing a dress with ...

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Men are so funny.  Especially to us women.  Who else could get colors, fabrics and clothing lingo – so completely WRONG?

Greg likes to be ‘involved’ in my life – not be left out – even if it is about clothing, makeup and ‘girly things’.   I had my ‘colors’ done one year – and I think Greg felt left out.  For years he has insisted that he is NOT one particular ‘season’ – like so many women were holding firmly to – when the whole ‘color me beautiful’ thing was popular.  He would insist – he was ‘every season’ and couldn’t be pinned down.  I would tell him that I am a ‘summer’ – because those colors most complemented my skin tone.  If we were in a winter month – then Greg would miraculously be a ‘winter’ too.  When the season changed to ‘spring’ – then he was also a ‘spring’.  I think he just wanted to feel a part of things – and being ‘one’ with nature – proved that he was – or something like that.  He doesn’t want to be left out.

Now when I have an item of clothing – for example – an ’empire waisted’ shirt he doesn’t want to be left out – and insists that he IS ’empire waisted’ too.  I think that secretly he is just trying to hide the fact that he has rather short stocky legs 🙂

An empire waist is very flattering – hugs the smallest part of a woman’s body and doesn’t emphasize the curvier areas.  Those of us that have curves – love the empire waist 🙂  Men don’t really get that.  Who can blame them?

Men.  What to do with them.  Can’t live with them – Can’t live without them either.  So confusing.  Luckily my man isn’t too complicated – he’s simple really – and I don’t mean ‘simple minded’ – that’s another completely different subject.  Just simple. Not too hard to figure out – no drama or mystery.  That’s MY department – and he would totally agree!

I think we confuse the men.  But I think they rather like it.  They seem to always have that bemused and puzzled expression on their faces.  There are in a constant state of panic – wondering if they will be asked to ‘recall’ a question we have just asked them – or trying frantically to come up with the correct response to our incessant chatter.

Last night Greg and I were sitting in the ‘talking room’ – a room where we have spent many HUNDREDS of hours over the last couple of years.  I was happily chatting on and on about something really important to me – and I noticed that he was starting to ‘nod off’.  Oh – not blatantly – it was just a subtle flinch – eyes that blinked too many times – and a familiar twitch around his mouth.  All these things that I can read so well – and others would not be able to tell.  But I KNEW!!   It was irritating.  And I knew that instead of my conversation being really important – my voice was instead lulling him to sleep!  Good grief.

He’s pretty good – but most of the time has a hard time keeping up with me – after all – I am a handful – as all my friends know 🙂

Next time you see Greg – ask him if he’s got short legs – or is he really ’empire waisted’ – you’ll get a good laugh from him – and it will make you smile – I promise ♥

God Bless

Where’s Your Bucket?

Last week I went on an adventure with Greg to West Seattle.  He had to pick something up from a building supply place and then take it to a Starbucks store and fix the problem.  Greg ‘moonlights’ as a contractor for Starbucks and does random cleaning and light maintenance of several stores around the greater Seattle area – when he’s not doing a wedding or a funeral.

It was going to be just a routine ride – I was only along so he’d have some company.  We didn’t think we’d run into any traffic because we were going well before normal rush hour – and stayed off the main heavy traffic places.  It was going to be a pleasant – wonderful ride.

However…

I had a headache.  Not a very bad one – not like the ones I used to get when I had those headaches.  By those – I mean the ultimate  ‘Granddaddy’ of all headaches – and I wrote an article on what mine are like – here it is:  “My Fear Button”.  This was not one of those. Just a little nagging thing – hurting above my right eyebrow – but not bad enough to keep me home.

We came to the first place to pick up what Greg needed to get – a building supply place.  He was gone for several minutes and my head really starting to hurt.  He got what he needed and we headed down the road – but as we continued along we soon found ourselves in some wicked traffic.  We had even taken an alternate route – knowing that one freeway had heavy construction on it.  It didn’t seem to matter – everyone in the city was taking our little ‘short cut’ to another way around it.

Soon I knew that this was no ordinary headache.  I was starting to feel sick to my stomach too.  This was bad.  Very bad. I was soon envisioning another episode in the truck – involving a ‘hurling’ and my husband being humiliated.  I asked if we had a bucket in the truck – and Greg  (by now was a little panicky) quickly looked around and said – “No!  No bucket – you will just have to wait”  Easy for him to say.  I remembered that my “Cindy Box” was in the truck – (those of you who follow my blog know about my ‘box’ – those who do not – can click on “Cindy Box” and read up on it).  Of course it was filled with all my necessary products – I need them.  No ‘male’ operated  truck that carries a ‘female’ should be without these products – it’s really easier on the relationship and marriage.  I said, “Greg – can you reach my “Cindy Box”?”  I saw his eyes grow large with alarm as he said, “It’s full – you can’t use that!”

It reminded me of when Bill Cosby’s wife was going into labor and she started to have painful contractions in the car and Bill said, “No dear – WAIT!!!  I’ll pull over – not in the car dear – NOT IN THE FERRARI!

It wasn’t very funny at the time – especially when Greg told me I’d have to hang on until the next exit.  I’m like, “It doesn’t work that way Greg!”  But hang on I did – and when we finally got off the freeway – I was white as a sheet working very hard to think about ‘puppies’ and ‘snowflakes’ and ‘teddy bears’ – anything but food and throwing up!!  Greg pulled up next to an office building and quickly jumped out – scooped up my ‘box’ and emptied it so I would have a container for the rest of the ride.  Smart man.  He knows too well that I have used a container and I probably will again.  After getting out and getting some fresh air – I felt well enough to jump back in for the rest of the painfully slow ride to the Starbucks.

After arriving  – a hot cup of coffee (caffeine is very good for headaches) and time out of the vehicle really felt good!  I was not headache free – but at least it was manageable.  I have found that my headaches and stomach aches  run together – almost indistinguishable at times.  Once the pain has gone on too long in the head – the stomach reacts.  It’s a given.

Well I’m thankful to report – I did not have to disgrace my “Cindy Box” in any way – and humiliate my sensitive and easily embarrassed sweet husband.  The ‘items’ of necessity are all safety back in place – and I was told today that the ‘bucket’ is back in the truck.  Hmmmm.  I wonder why?

Take care and God Bless

This Woman’s Work

Sung tonight by Michael Lynche on American Idol – a beautiful version of this song as originally sung by Kate Bush in “She’s having a baby” – a great movie about a young married couple having their first baby.  There is a very poignant scene in the movie where the young husband (Kevin Bacon) thinks he is going to lose both his young wife and baby while she is in labor – and this song is sung in the background as he is in the waiting room of the hospital – reliving his life with her.  It is very moving – and well worth seeing.  Here is the AWESOME version of this song by Maxwell.  Enjoy!

Getting In Shape LA Fitness Style

On Monday – Greg and I joined a gym.  It’s the first time for Greg – the second for me.  I belonged to “Curves” for 2 years – and then got bored as many do – when you do the same thing for that long.  Last year was a very stressful “new season” of our lives – which included my husband quitting his job after 13 years at the same church – and our daughter getting married.  We were just trying to make his “new business” get off the ground – and get our daughter married off – there was little time to really have a good and regular “workout” routine.  I am also a “fair weather” walker – and living in Seattle – well….you get the idea.  My husband had been very regular about his workouts on his treadmill – until it broke several months ago.  I hadn’t gone near the stupid thing since over a year ago falling off of it – yeah – it wasn’t pretty.  The thing ended up traumatizing me and I haven’t wanted anything to do with it since.

So….we really needed to get WITH IT!!!  And get back into the program.  There is a pretty new LA Fitness in our area – complete with all the “state of the art” equipment – a swimming pool – sauna – and my personal favorite – the HOT TUB!!!   Oh yes.  I plan to spend some time in that FOR SURE!!!  I am even going to take a Zumba class that my friend, Jackie leads.  My daughter and I will dance our way to fitness – if it KILLS US.  And for me – it probably will.

Today Greg and I went in and had a consult with a personal trainer (a most impressive young man who used to play for the Seahawks – until he was injured) who showed us how to use the equipment and what workouts would be the best for us – working weights on 3 different days a week and allowing muscle groups to rest in between – cardio everyday after weights.  He was very nice and VERY patient – I can assure you – it is difficult to show me anything – as I have a million questions and think everything and everyone is HILARIOUS!  But being as we cannot afford a personal trainer – wow are they EXPENSIVE!!! – we wanted to find out all we could FOR FREE and so he was kind enough to write down many things for us to try – and we will be taking all his suggestions to heart.

Greg and I plan to do this together.  There is NO WAY I’m going to the club by myself with all the interesting guys in there – and I’m not really all that comfortable with the whole “weight training” thing – it will be helpful to have my big handsome husband to look out for me – and the sleazy guys ☺If there are any.  I plan to use the elliptical – instead of the treadmill (for the above stated reason) for cardio – my daughter LOVES the bike – but I’m not sure it I will. There is a cycling class that apparently will kick your behind!  Not sure I’m ready for that ☺

It all seems a bit overwhelming – but I’m looking forward to trying it – and seeing the results too♥  The water aerobics seem fun too.  There was only one guy and about 40 women in the class this morning.  Greg says he thinks the guy will be back ☺

Have a great day!

God Bless

My Love List

There is an excellent book called “The Love List” by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott that has a list of wonderful things for marriages.  In it they have things that couple should do once a day – once a week – once a month and once a year.  I thought I would take this list and add a few of my own personal favortes to it.  Enjoy!

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

E.E. Cummings

Once a day:

1. Find something that makes both of you laugh.  Humor has become the foundation of our  marriage – even in the rough patches.  Humor can relieve the tension – and even take the focus off of the negative and prevent us from being too self absorbed and selfish.  Those that are the healthiest laugh often and can even laugh at themselves.

2. Take time to touch.  Even if it is just a caress on the arm or hand – and kiss on the cheek  – it is still some physical contact that says much.  I am a “huggy” person – so physical touch is never hard for me.  If you don’t tend to be too physical – it may be just what your partner wants and needs – just a little squeeze for reassurance can mean so much.  Learn to be a FLIRT!!  It does wonders, that’s all I can say!

3.  Say something nice.  We can live off a good compliment for days – sometimes even weeks!  A kind word of encouragement is so endearing – especially from one you love.  This will boost their self esteem level and help them to be more positive and productive.  Our words are so powerful.


The development of a really good marriage is not a natural process.  It is an achievement.

David and Vera Mace

Once a week:

1. Have a date night.  More often than once a week if you can manage it.  It isn’t always possible at different seasons of your life – especially with young children, as that can get expensive – but budget for it – it is time and money well spent!  We are in a season of our lives where we have been dating much more often than once a week and it has changed and rejuvinated our marriage.

2. Plan to do active things together.  Maybe you both could take up golf or join a gym together.  Greg and I love to play golf – we played it before we had any children and we began to get back to playing it a couple of years ago – we need to do it more often!  It’s fun to play together!  Maybe just getting out for an after dinner stroll – or driving to a scenic place and doing some hiking and have lunch together.  All good stuff.

Spending recreational time with his wife is second only to sex for the typical husband.

Willard F. Harley Jr.

Once a month:

1. Plan your schedules together.  Find out what is happening during what days – what times are going to work for “dates” and when you’re going to be especially busy.  We do this now – sometimes even doing this on a weekly basis so we know how to plan – the schedule gets trickier when you are both self employed!

2. Take inventory of the previous month.  What worked?  What didn’t?  Talk about it – and make a conscious effort to spend more time to put the priority of you marriage at the top of the list.  Greg and I have literally spent hundreds of hours talking over the last year to make our marriage better.

3. Stay connected during the week physically and emotionally.  Be in tune to the other ones needs.  Greg has learned that I need emotional connection.  I need it all the time.  It has not been easy for him to stay alert and in tune – but he decided that it was worth it – and he says it’s been like going back to school and getting his degree in understanding me.  What a high compliment to me!  That he thought I was worth it.  That he would relearn some things that he had not been doing all through our marriage – that led to some misunderstanding and problems.  It was hard work – but he was determined!  Physical connection has been a bonus because of the hard emotional work.  We’ve become like a couple of teenagers – and I wouldn’t trade that away for anything in the world!  So worth it.  Talk A LOT!!!   Get really honest and authentic.  Do it.  It’s worth it – not always easy – but worth it.

Thrills come at the beginning and do not last…Let the thrill go and you will find you are living in a world of new thrills.

C.S. Lewis

Once a year:

Have a real vacation get away.  We try to do “mini” trips throughout the year – but once a year you should really go somewhere new and have a real “change”.  Plan for it in advance – put it on the calendar and then DO IT.  We like to go on cruises – we plan about a year and a half out – book it – put a deposit on it and then save for it throughout the year and a half.  We have been all over the place because we have not only talked about it – but we’ve been ON PURPOSE about going.  If you never plan for it – you will never do it.  This is our special “alone” time – just the two of us and it is not easy for us to share those times with others.

2. Don’t be afraid of change.  Change is the constant in this world and we must embrace it.  If we settle just for the “same old, same old” – that is what kind of marriage you will have.  You must stay current and be willing to listen more and talk less – truly make the necessary adjustments for our partner.  If we truly love and want to be loved back – you must resist the tempatation to take them for granted and think, “they already know how I feel”.  As time goes by it is even more important to do things for your partner to let them know that they are first priority.  If you do not do this – it can be like “death” to a marriage.  Ask your partner what you can do to be “better”.  And then really listen.  Make the decision that they are worth it to you.  Woman need emotional connection and a smart man will fill that need for her.  Men need physical love and admiration.  A smart woman will fill that need.  No one wants to be accused of not doing the best thing for the one they love.  Marriage problems begin because people stop doing these things.  They don’t pay attention anymore.  Don’t be that person.

Chains do not hold a marriage together.  It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.

Simone Signoret

Here’s wishing you and yours a Happy Valentine’s week as you embrace a “Love List” of your very own.

God Bless

Getting Cute

It finally happened.  I looked in the mirror and saw…my……….Okay someone REALLY OLD.  Since my own mother and grandmother NEVER looked their age – I can’t even use that as an example.    I have these HUGE bags under my eyes this morning – and was reminded of the line from one of the episodes of Star Trek Next Generation – “I see time has NOT been kind, Jameson.”  It’s a joke around our house whenever someone looks pretty worn out and haggard.  Well this morning it’s ME!!!!  I didn’t even recognize the reflection – and I got more sleep last night than I have in the last 3!!  It doesn’t make any sense at all – but the good news is this:  My HAIR LOOKS GREAT!!! ♥

Men are sooooooooo lucky.  They always look great.  My dear husband was pretty wiped out yesterday – we had a theater practice where he is the narrator for the production – and STILL – he looks great!  How do they do it?  Not a smidge of makeup on – and they still mange to look “fresh” and “put together”  It’s not fair.  Men just walk out of the shower looking great!  That NEVER happens to women.  Oh yes – we have our good days – no bags under our eyes – and that perfect hair day – but it’s NEVER like a man.

You think we’re cute?  It takes longer and longer each year to GET CUTE!!  And that’s the truth.

Greg will say to me on some mornings – can we go in about 20 minutes?  Knowing I haven’t even been in the shower yet.  And I smile and say, “sure”.  That 20 minutes later I’m still just blow drying my hair – haven’t put a smidge of anything on my face yet.  It takes WORK to be cute.  Mineral makeup foundation – a little blush – eyebrow pencil – eye shadow, liner and mascara.  And that’s only to look normal. I have never been one to wear much makeup – I don’t over do it at all – in fact – some guys don’t even think that I wear any – sometimes.  That’s the POINT!!  You shouldn’t look like you wear any.  It’s supposed to just make you look normal. And I don’t wish to frighten anyone – especially men and children.  I work with Junior High kids – do you think I want them to point and stare at the “scary lady”?  No.  So I usually need about 15 more minutes.  It’s okay – he’s used to it ♥

I think today I will have to work a little longer – to get “cute” and get going on this busy day!  After all – Greg looks SO good all the time – I really must keep up with him!

He just got home – and Wow – he looks GREAT!  But you know what?  He thinks I do too – just as I am – not a smidge of makeup – just me.  And that feels pretty great ♥

Have an awesome day!

God Bless

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