Musings From A Musical Mind

Posts tagged ‘writing’

Just Because You Are Special

WordPress Logo

WordPress Logo (Photo credit: Phil Oakley)

Yesterday and today I have had some fun setting up some widgets for my blog site.  It’s been frustrating, but also really fun.  Frustrating in that – I was not able to get everyone on “Blogs I follow” because it seems not everyone is compatible with this widget – or does not have a gravatar picture, or both – and FUN because now that I am done I can see everyone’s SMILING face looking at me.  All the people who have encouraged and contributed to my writing and being.  Their fresh faces gazing approvingly on my site  – and I am satisfied.

No one is an island, not even those of us writers who prefer to live somewhat secluded and just – write.  Or in my case – express.  Either way it is not necessary to get a pat on the back or a smile of encouragement from others, but it is still appreciated.  And I try to make a conscious effort to do the same to all of you.  I sometimes forget what that comments of love mean to me.   It is a wonderful thing to connect with others who feel the same and need someone else to say something they have been thinking and never written down.  This has happened to me as I’ve read all your blog articles out there.  Sometimes it’s like, “Wow – I can’t believe they said that!”  And I find myself nodding and smiling.

Please don’t feel left out – if you are a reader and contributor and do not see your smiling picture on the right side of this page – please make me aware of it – it is not in the slightest bit intentional!  I want to connect you with my readers and have others gain encouragement from the very thing you are writing about.  You just never know who you are going to meet and come across because of this unique blogging community.

And if you see yourself there – just know this:  we may not talk every day, or leave comments all the time, but you have been a part of my journey the last 4 plus years and I appreciate you!

Let’s encourage one another!

 

God Bless

Rewriting The Already Written

An icon for rewriting an article and for other...

An icon for rewriting an article and for other purposes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I did something the other day I had not done in years.  I attended a book reading at a local bookstore, small and eclectic – in the heart of our quaint downtown.  The event was called “An afternoon with Rod Haynes” local writer – and also a member of the church we attend.  Rod is very interesting and has many fun stories he has penned.  He has written three books and in his time with us he read aloud some sections of each.

But it was in my conversation with him before the event began that captured my attention and has given me many thoughtful moments ever since.  He told me that he was not always able to make sense of things in the past that have happened – so he attempted to create a new fictitious ending to a very real story, to gain perspective and to give closure in either a positive or negative way.  He gave a few examples in his time with us – his way of weaving true events with those that he would have liked to have happened.

Maybe you like me, have attempted to make sense of events in your life.  Maybe you’ve even tried to wrap your mind around “your story” as told by you in a way that really did happen, but instead you end up frustrated and overwhelmed.  It could be that the telling would expose those you don’t wish to name – or bring up bad or painful memories.  Either way, I too have thought “one of these days – I will write a book” – but I don’t think it can happen in the “truest” form.  Too much stuff – too “unfinished” – too – yeah you know.

I believe writers can sharpen other writers.  And I believe they can inspire and encourage.  Knowing that Rod has been able to ‘fictitiously’ make sense out of his circumstances and events – has made me curious about mine.  And because anything can happen in our imagination this can also be a very healing tool.  One thing is for sure – I would rewrite the already written.  I would bring closure to a painful period.  Something that has already happened in my dream world.  In fact sometimes dreams can be so real that I actually have awakened up a few times thinking the “thing” was actually resolved.

My rewrite is probably different from yours.  It definitely takes two people to resolve a conflict and begin healing.  Maybe your rewrite would include a person who has already passed away, a parent, a lost child or friend.  Maybe you would say – or have them say the things you have needed to say or hear.  Or maybe still it’s a person (like mine) who is still living and breathing – but who does not want to resolve anything.  Either way – the rewrite would bring that healing and final conclusion – you know – the one that would actually make sense – bring healing and set you free.

We all have a story to tell – and whether it’s just “I’m sorry” or in my case “All is forgiven, what took you so long to come around again?”  It’s your story – and maybe you need to write it.

Here’s to – ‘Rewriting The Already Written’ – letting go of pain and replacing with things that finally make sense.  Bringing good out of chaos and lessons learned.  Bringing full resolution to your heart and soul.

God Bless

A Safe Place

The "Safe Place" logo promoted by Na...

The “Safe Place” logo promoted by National Safe Place. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you ever been in someone’s presence and felt that you weren’t safe?  You had to weigh every word spoken, had to ignore the little ‘jabs’ of humor and eventually you found yourself either pushing back or shutting down?

Being and feeling safe is different for each of us.  And by safe, I mean something beyond just comfortable and easy.  It’s that intangible something that feels like you’ve come home and don’t have to watch everything that you say – you’re free to express without judgement, free to be yourself, free to confide, and be appreciated for your own uniqueness.

I saw a movie the other night on the life of Earnest Hemingway during the war years – and at one point in the movie he had to address a crowd of people.  He suffered terrible stage fright and when finally was able to speak to the crowd he told them, “I’m a writer – writers don’t have to speak out loud and address a crowd”  And in this very same way – we all relate in our own unique way.  Some of us are writers – some are good oral communicators – others are teachers some are shy computer geeks.  And each of us communicate in different ways to others.

Sometimes that mode of communication is misunderstood by others.  For me personally I have found that to be true.  Frustrating yes – but also disheartening.  I begin to hear people as they “joke” and “jab” about “those of us who are expressive” and “those of us who write feelings down” and I slowly begin to shut down.  It’s past the curiosity of just being different – it’s a smallness and intolerance that I find sad – and it’s in those people whom I do not feel safe.

Where is your safe place?  Do you relate to what I’m saying?  Do you have those whom you feel safe with?  Where you are able to express those words, written or spoken?  Where you feel understanding and acceptance for the way you are?  If you do – then you are blessed.

Don’t let anyone rob you of your unique voice.  God made you the way you are for a reason.  Years ago I had a pastor friend of ours tell me, “Cindy – don’t let anyone steal your joy”  This was after I got into trouble for being myself.  It was great advice and I still remember his words to this day.  Others have tried to mold and make me into what they think I should be.  But I am always frustrated when I am not free to be me and express myself in the way that is God-given.

Eventually though, someone – if not everyone will disappoint you at one time or another and even “rain on your parade”.  Where is your safe place then?

Psalm 18 says this:

1-2 I love you, God— you make me strong.
God is bedrock under my feet,
the castle in which I live,
my rescuing knight.
My God—the high crag
where I run for dear life,
hiding behind the boulders,
safe in the granite hideout.

3 I sing to God, the Praise-Lofty,
and find myself safe and saved.

I love this.  In God we find a safe place where we can hide out and feel loved.  He will always accept us and encourage us – help us to find our unique voice.

He breaks down the barriers that safeguard my heart

He encourages me to be me

He hangs on my every word

He offers His silent support

He makes me want to be better

He has time to love me right

To fill the emptiness

and loneliness

and promises unending joy

He restores that which has been lost

and those things I cannot let go

knowing me better than I know myself

He is my safe place.

 

God Bless

Ten Years

I’ve been reflecting this past month on the events of 10 years ago. It is the anniversary of purchasing our home in the Seattle area.

Time has a way of sneaking up on you, and for me – this journey happened slowly at times and at other times very quickly.

Ten years ago our daughter was 14 and a freshman in high school. Our son was 10 and in the 4th grade. That seems like a lifetime ago when they were that age – and at the time, it seemed as if time moved very slowly.

But in between the swim meets, choir concerts, endless baseball and basketball tournaments we knew these were the best years and we tried to enjoy them and hang on to every minute, knowing that once these days are gone – they are gone.

When 10 years comes and goes it is a funny thing – we say to ourselves and others around us, “What happened??” And we are truly surprised when things don’t stay the same or when we do something and our bodies don’t feel the same as they used to in the “good old days”. I truly do wonder where we got as much energy as we had to be running all the times with kids and their events and I know I couldn’t do it today without paying for it!

As I reflect on yet another Mother’s Day – I realize this is the first one where we are true empty-nester’s – our daughter has been married for the past 2 1/2 years and our son is going to school in Southern California – so it is my first Mother’s Day without him in the area.

But I also think to myself, “Wow – what great well-balanced grown up kids we have! We must have done something right – or maybe they turned out in spite of us – either way I’m thankful and grateful for all of God’s MANY blessings poured out to us in this last decade and the ones before that.

I am looking forward to a great future in this next decade and the ones to follow as God wills it for each of our lives and can’t wait to reflect back on those memories. But mostly I’m learning to live in the moment and enjoy the journey along the way.

Where we’re you 10 years ago?

God Bless

The Crazy World Of Writers

I have been a writer all my life.  Long before I kept a blog, writing different articles on anything that would ‘strike my fancy’ – I kept a blog in my head – and before that – in a journal.  I really discovered my serious love for writing over 2 years ago.  It is a strange and crazy world that few understand.  A world where  subjects are explored and where there is a certain freedom and anonymity.  Most that read my writings and scribblings, ideas, opinions and humorous take on life – do not know me personally.  Some do.  But those who do know me, rarely read my stuff.  Instead it is the “writers from another mother” who I converse with on a daily basis – and whose writings have blessed and touched me in return.

Writers have something basic in common.  It transcends gender and generation.  It is intangible and undefined.  It is, simply – a likeness of mind.  A desire to be heard and understood.  A passion for getting thoughts and opinions out there.  It is a serious calling – one that can be misunderstood, taken for granted, swept under the carpet, marginalized and judged.  But for those of us that feel we have something “God-given” to say – to NOT say it –  is like muzzling a horse – and constraining the inner voice.

There is a whole crazy thought life inside the writer.  Our ‘take’ on life is different from anybody else.  We paint the canvas with our words.  We see things differently – with verbs, adjectives and metaphors – that pour out of us.  A good story – and a wonderfully crafted paragraph is inspiring to us – and the finished product of yet another piece gives us a ‘high’ like nothing else.

Writers embrace new thoughts and ideas like no other – usually prolific readers – we love thought and reason – see romance in new ideas and peace and fulfillment in clear and uncompromising opinion.  It makes us happy to be in that world – and to take others along with us – those that really get it.

Here’s to all of you – those that are in this crazy world of writing.  Those that have something to say.  Those who will not be silenced.  Keep writing – there are those of us who are reading.   You are valued and important.  I salute you today.

God Bless

Sunshine On A Cold Day

Brooklyn Museum - In Spring Sunshine - Charles...

Image via Wikipedia

I took a walk today

watched the trees starting to bloom

and heard the birds sing

I tried to empty out all the stress

and things to do

from my mind

I walked past men working on a roof

and heard the loud sounds of a pressure washer at work

they took no notice of me

walking by

I was aware of cars driving by me

of others out for a walk

and tried to find a place

where I could be alone for a moment

quiet my mind

release the unanswered questions

of past

and regret

I tried to concentrate

on the blessings instead

the many new friends on my journey

and the simple things

like sunshine on a cold day

But this spring is taking longer

than other springs

this lesson

is taking longer to learn

than other lessons

And I’m finding

It is the smallest things

that are the biggest miracle

They are found

in the most unlikely places

and that is where true release comes

It is a step

on a never-ending journey

to lose

and yet

to find

a place of true rest

and of true peace

like sunshine on a cold day

And I believe

although I cannot feel it yet

that the chill in the air

will soon turn warm

and the sunshine

will penetrate the cold

and shine warmth down

on my face

although I cannot feel it

it is still coming

Today is like a kiss

a promise

of more

than just sunshine on a cold day

Two Years? Let’s Celebrate!

The logo of the blogging software WordPress.

Image via Wikipedia

Two years ago this month was my first blog article – and the beginning of a wonderful relationship and growing passion for writing.

In that amount of time I have come to appreciate those that have been in this crazy little corner of the world with me – our blog sites – and have made many new friends.  It’s sobering to note that had I not ventured out – taken a risk to open up and be truly authentic (at least as authentic as I feel appropriate) – I would not have met and developed those relationships – found a mutual love with these people, help and encouragement through the good, the bad – and the ugly.  Most of these people whom I speak of can be found on my blogroll down below.  Some I knew before – most I did not – and some I reconnected with because of blogging.

Those of you that are daily in my daily blogging life – contributing to a laugh, or a sigh – bringing clarity and humor to this crazy world – thank you. Let’s never be too busy to write a word of encouragement to each other – the writer knows how important that is – like no other.

I’ve learned a great many things over the last two years – have been daily inspired and encouraged by things I’ve read by all of you – and have found many topics to reflect on and write about myself.  Life is full of opportunities – if we just open up our eyes!  I look forward to many more anniversaries – writing and reflecting about my journey!

Thank you – to all of my readers! ♥  And if you’re a daily reader but never leave a comment – I want to encourage you – let me know that you’re reading and leave me a comment.  Your word may be just what I need to hear – or what someone else needs to hear – on that very day.  Our words are powerful – don’t hold them back.

 

God Bless

Another Winter

Autumn fallen leaves of Zelkova serrata

Image via Wikipedia

The chill in the air feels familiar

and yet

there is always something missing at this time of year

I wait for something

I sense the anticipation

Leaves hang on

as if they too

are waiting for something

and then they fall

surrendering to their time

surrendering to the cold

And like the leaves

I too – hang on

waiting for something

But in the end

I too surrender to the inevitable

perhaps an echo

of past things

a glimpse of something

from long ago

in this time of the year

when chill and thoughts of snow

fill the air

Another winter season

when something was lost

and something else found

And I realize

I am the leaves

that have fallen

surrendering to the cold

and the winter

and yet…

I am getting up again

crushed but not broken

Another ‘winter’ came

to steal my joy

rob my spirit

and I was lost

But I survived

got back up

and here I am

to face another winter

that feels familiar

but is so different

And I smile

another season

more progress

on my journey

regrets that lessen

with time

and healing

in all things that matter

and I am content

How I Use My Blog

Moo cards for blogging workshop

Image by Mexicanwave via Flickr

A whole new world opened up to me – when I began a blog site.

I have always loved to write down thoughts and feelings – what was happening around me and my ‘take’ on the situations I found myself in – but it was always just for me alone.

When you begin a blog – you need to decide how much of yourself you are willing to reveal – if you are used to writing in a personal journal.

As I began to share my journey – I found others out there who were in a similar ‘season’ of  life and experience and it has kindled many healthy relationships for me.

I use my blog like this:  It’s a ‘sharing’ mode – my own personal experiences –  life through ‘my lens’.  Others may choose ‘edgier’ topics – but I try to keep mine as non-controversial as possible.

The reason for this is simple.  I do not think I’m an expert on any topic – and if fact know many people (some of them my good friends) who have way more experience or insight than I do – and could clearly ‘call me out’ if they wanted to.  For this reason I stay away from politics, religion and anything else that is a ‘hot’ topic and generates heated discussions.  If you want one of those – there are plenty of them available – just JUMP IN!!

My blog is to tell a story of my journey – through humor, stories, real events, pictures, poetry and music.  It is not meant to attack or criticize any one’s  point of view.  It is simply my story.

What I have discovered is this:  There are many people like me out there in ‘blog land’.  People who have discovered that if they just step out and write – something wonderful happens!  People respond.  It is wonderful to receive validation and affirmation from fellow bloggers – encouraging and cheering me on!

Another significant reason for starting a blog is this:  It’s very healing. There’s something about writing thoughts and feelings – and past experiences down on paper and releasing them so they are not locked up inside anymore.  I have felt that great release and have felt God’s hand upon my writing and have felt His healing touch through my relationships with people – as I share my experiences.  In a way – I can honestly say – the blog is for me.

But it is not only for me.

I also have received numerous emails and Facebook messages from those not yet comfortable to write something on my page – but want to let me know just how much it means to them – to have someone understand.  Someone who has the same thoughts and feelings – just didn’t know how to express it – and who feel in some way – that I wrote an article just for them.

This is why I blog.  That is the payoff and the reward of any writer.  That somehow – I can make a difference. Powerful.

I have also used my blog to inspire others to create their own blog – and I feel like a proud and happy ‘Mom’ to those who have started their own blog – due to my encouragement.  To see them prosper and blossom is the greatest reward in the world!

Do you have something to write about?  Something to share with the world?  Are you an encourager?  Are you frustrated and need to find a venue to begin and sort it all out?  Start a blog today!

There are many blog sites to choose from – and most of them are free like this one.   I chose wordpress.com because it has so many things to offer – and many ways to link and find other people like myself.  If I like an article from someone I can post it right to my Facebook page – or even email it to someone who does not have Facebook or twitter.  I can even print out a hard copy to take with me or give a friend without a computer.  So convenient for me!

I’d love to help you get started – maybe today is your day!  I’d love to offer any help or suggestions – just ask!

But most of all – just step out and do it! You won’t be disappointed!

God Bless

I Am Ready…Still…

The following is taken from a blog post one year ago tomorrow.  It was heartfelt and hopeful and I still am that girl – waiting for the day…one year later…
It is important to stop, reflect and look back – so that we can see how much change and growth has happened to us over time – if we allow God to work on us – soften our hearts and let things go that we can’t fix.
It is also important to learn the things that can’t be fixed and that it’s sometimes a blessing in disguise to NOT get the things you ask for.  And that is the hardest lesson of all.  To know that God sometimes heals through things not given – and through other people and relationships we encounter on our journey.  It has taken me a long time to learn this – but I’m so glad to be finally getting it.

Posted by: Cindy Holman on: May 18, 2009

I am beginning

to see

a new beginning

a new challenge

that is before me

a door I must walk through

but

It scares me

It is the unknown

I don’t know

how it will turn out

In my heart

I can see

things

and relationships

as God sees them

whole

and healthy

A meeting of the minds

and hearts

joining of “like” spirits

wanting understanding

and reconciliation

I am ready

I am waiting

Waiting for God’s timing

Waiting for God’s healing

I am ready

I can already see it

but

I am afraid

It is the scary unknown

Help me Lord to be ready when final healing takes place for me and all those in my life – and for anyone reading this today.  I pray that our hearts will be open for you to do a special and deep work in our lives today so that you will be glorified as the only true relationship healer.  I pray a special blessing on my readers today that you will give them a wonderful day –  full of love, hope and promise of tomorrow.

God Bless.

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