This Thursday marks 32 years of marriage for Greg and me. Many don’t know this – but we were 20 and 21 when we got married – still in College and had no job, prospects or money. We just went for it! And it kinda worked out 😉 And although I don’t recommend or even advocate people getting married as young as we were – there is something to be said for growing up together. We were too poor and stupid to know any better – so we just plodded along and most of the time it worked out okay. This is not to say that our marriage did not have any bumps and bruises along the way. I think it’s a given just from living that long with another person! If someone says their marriage doesn’t ever have any friction or difference of opinion – they are lying – or someone is stuffing their personality and opinions down deep. This can happen sometimes to save conflict, or to keep up appearances – but is not very real or truthful.
Besides sharing the same faith, belief system and values – there are some other things I’ve learned about our relationship through the years and what has made it work. We are far from perfect and sometimes I think I am hopelessly flawed. But somehow it has worked out anyway. For those of you interested in what makes a long-term marriage work – Here is my list…
1. A sense of humor is a must
2. Money doesn’t bring happiness – but it sure can help
3. You don’t marry the other person’s family – despite what others will tell you. You marry the man.
4. No one knows you as well as someone you sleep with.
5. Your partner cannot fill you up. That’s God’s job.
6. Friendships come and go – your spouse is your only reliable best friend.
7. Always be kind
8. Learn to look beyond the flaws
9. Keep forgiveness in your back pocket
10. Always stick up for each other
11. Don’t take yourself too seriously
12. Appreciate the little things
13. Have children – the only real expression of your love in human form.
14. Appreciate your differences
15. Don’t be needy
16. Don’t be jealous
17. Enjoy music
18. Take a walk everyday
19. Adopt a puppy or two
20. Be happy and content in your own company
21. Love your neighbors
22. Make a difference
23. Learn to communicate and dream together
24. Laugh a lot
25. Walk away from unhealthy people
26. Be totally honest
27. Love those who marry into your family like your own
28. Be friends with your grownup children
29. Leave a ministry job if it is affecting your marriage
30. Be ready to reinvent yourself
31. Talk about everything everyday
and last but not least…
32. Be the person he would fall in love with all over again.
- What is Love? (cindyhluu.wordpress.com)
- Preparing for Marriage: Now is the Perfect Time to Start (youngkeepersofthehome.wordpress.com)
- What is love? (patternstriedandtrue.org)
- 4 Things I’ve Learned In 4 Years Of Marriage (morethanabeard.com)